Huh. I didn’t realize there was such variation by state. Every state I’ve lived in has a next of kin priority order. So in your state, if someone is in an accident and is unconscious, and has not specified their wishes in any legal documents, who makes health care decisions for them? Does a doctor just decide?
I suppose that we’re lucky in that we don’t have disagreement or any trust issues in our families when it comes to this stuff. If that was the case, I’d definitely want documents in place, but would still want the clause about incapacity so that privacy is preserved. For example, if I was divorced and my kids trusted me but not my ex, I’d have them name me as agent only in case of incapacity.
When my mother was in the hospital, they just let my sister and me decide. We had a POA and a medical POA, but those were at home (my home, and my sister was the POA) and not on file with the hospital.
Surprisingly, we would have needed 5 of the 6 of us kids to agree to the cremation if we hadn’t had the POA, and that would have been messy because 2 live out of town/state (had we known we wouldn’t have listed them on the form as next of kin).
I recently filled out the forms from my doctor before a surgery. I listed my sister and not my kids (27 and 28 years old) because I didn’t want them to have the responsibility of making decisions. I’m sure state law would give them the power, and responsibility, but I wanted something else.