<p>Honestly, I doubt there is going to be any major trend in where it is used and where it isn’t. There are so many students from so many different backgrounds going to any one university that there will probably be plenty of people saying “that’s so gay” and significantly more people who think that’s offensive and would never say it. As long as you avoid the people in the first group, you should be fine. </p>
<p>If it helps, I don’t go to an Ivy, but I haven’t once heard the phrase at my college. In fact, I don’t remember hearing it much in the last few years of high school either. </p>
<p>Yes, we understand that. What everyone is in agreement on here about is that there isn’t any trend on the matter.</p>
<p>I’m in the same boat as @pianodolphin , I can’t remember the last time that I heard it. Essentially, it shouldn’t be a worry of yours at all.</p>
<p>@comfortablycurt The derogatory nature of the phrase “that’s so gay” is pretty well established at this point, far from “political correctness gone wrong”. What makes it derogatory isn’t the phrase itself but how its used. When it was used, “that’s so gay” was used to refer to bad things, thus inferring that gay equals bad. The word “white” has no history of derogatory nature or context like “that’s so gay” has. Neither does the term “straight”. Even the “derogatory” word for white people, “cracker”, referred to a slave owner cracking a whip, still supporting a role of power in the “insult”. Point being, offensive words are all about context. The OP may have slightly misrepresented that, but his point remains true about words with offensive contexts: its the right of the minority it did/does refer to to use it or find it offensive. This applies to most racial/social slurs.</p>
<p>And yet…as I previously stated, I hear my gay friends use the phrase “that’s so gay” more than anyone else. </p>
<p>When people use the phrase, they are not saying “this is bad, just like homosexuality.” They’re just saying “aww damn, that’s so gay man.” I’ve never known people to use the phrase in situations where something legitimately WAS bad anyway. I never heard “man, the bombing of all those civilians in country x was so gay.” It’s more along the lines of someone getting killed a in a video game and saying “damn, that’s so gay!” It’s up to you be offended or not be offended. Believe it or not, people have an extraordinary power to pick and choose these things. </p>
<p>I don’t think people can really claim that white isn’t used in a derogatory sense anymore. With all of the issues involving police violence and perceived racism of late, the argument has often come down to “those evil white people.” I’ve seen articles discussing whether or not there even ARE any good white people. We’ve come to a point in time now where many portions of the population think that white people should feel bad solely by merit of being white. </p>
<p>Do I allow myself to be bothered by these things? No. </p>
<p>In either case, we’re never going to agree on this topic, so with that I’m stepping out of this thread. </p>
<p>Good luck finding a school that fits you well. </p>
<p>Great standup routine on being offended by other people (Steve Hughes):</p>
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<p>TL;DR: Just shrug it off if you hear anything like that. It’s a valid offense, but don’t worry about them. You just do you. Really not seeing why this is a big deal. </p>
<p>More appropriate questions would be: “What are some LGBTQ-friendly schools?” “How LGBTQ-friendly is School X?” (posted in School X’s forum) You picked a controversial proxy to ask these questions, and these questions have been asked many times elsewhere on the forums. </p>
<p>Don’t take it to heart if something offends you. Shrug it off. To be frank, choosing a school based on how LGBTQ-friendly the community is seems a little off; every school will have its bigots, racists, and homophobes–every city will have the same. Everywhere you go in the real world will have people who may offend you. Shrug it off. Don’t care what those people think. Surround yourself with friends who do not offend you.</p>
<p>Point being: Even if you go to Vassar (known for being PC) and never hear an offensive phrase, you might wind up working in NYC. I guarantee you you’ll hear at least 10 things that offend you on your way to work, and you’ll probably hear some offensive phrases there too. People have different opinions, and their opinions might offend you. Just ignore them. Actively avoiding them isn’t going to get you anywhere. If you’re working in a law firm with a client who hates a certain group of people and you happen to be among that type of people, you have ignore his/her use of offensive phrases and work with them if you want to keep your job.</p>
<p>I can’t emphasize enough that you shouldn’t care about whether or not people say offensive things. If I were you, I’d go to a southern school (Duke, Vandy) just to be prepared for when the day comes you find yourself strolling through the real-world and someone says something that offends you. If you lived in a bubble during college, you’d be absolutely appalled (and rightfully so, the person’s probably unkind for saying that offense phrase) and might cry yourself to sleep that night/be fuming with anger all day. If you don’t live in that bubble, you’d just think “Man, he’s a d***.” and ignore it like most people would.</p>
<p>@comfortablycurt Any incredibly useful phrase? What absolute bull. </p>
<p>And now you’re claiming that white people are oppressed. I see a growing trend here. You are continually arguing for using offensive language towards minority groups. First it was gay people, then it was Asians and now it’s black people. You must be proud.</p>
<p>@Vctory I won’t be attending a southern school. The Deep South is just far too backward for me. I’m not going to give myself an unpleasant experience, as you suggest, to “prepare me for the real world.” I have no concern about people being offensive in my future line of work, as any professional I’ve meant would never use racist or homophobic language. If the high school I attend right now is very gay-friendly, where nobody would use offensive language (but the school still enshrines this in its bullying policy) then why would I want to take step backwards? </p>
<p>And don’t patronise me. Of course, hearing “That’s so gay” doesn’t deeply upset me or make me furiously angry, but its presence is synonymous with very immature environments. I just don’t want to be surrounded by twats. :)</p>
<p>At the moment, I don’t know one racist or openly homophobic person under the age of 35. I don’t see how every school will have a share of them. </p>
<p>I looked at another thread you started and saw you’re from the UK. Homosexuality is a polarizing issue here, and the presence of politically insensitive language != immature/unintelligent; if it did, you’d be calling the majority of Republican reps/senators and many Tory/UKIP MP’s twats. There’s a debate to be had, and instantly assuming anyone taking the other side is immature/unintelligent isn’t quite the way to do it.</p>
<p>To actually get to your question, most college campuses are completely LGBT-friendly–I know mine is (University of Maryland-College Park). We run a campaign to reduce the use of offensive words/phrases (illegal immigrant, “that’s so gay”, “that exam raped me”, etc.) </p>
<p>I didn’t mean for you to actually submit apps to Duke/Vandy, but you really should prepare for America to be different. You will hear people offend you and you shouldn’t assume anything about them. They might’ve grown up in a different environment where it’s ok to say these things in the home/in the workplace/with friends, and they’d knock it off if they knew it offended you. </p>
<p>Again, it doesn’t mean anything about them, it’s just the situation they’re from. It’s not right to say these things, but you shouldn’t make any assumptions about them if they do. </p>
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<p>Again, you live in the UK. It’s, sadly, a bit different in the States. Many of the outright homophobes I know are young, and go to college in the States. They went to colleges across the board. It’s a minority of the teens, but they still exist in almost every school. </p>
<p>It’s not outright racism/homophobia you have to worry about, and I probably should’ve made that more clear. You shouldn’t make any assumptions about speaking patterns, as they typically reflect where the student grew up (and many Southern students, as college freshman, still have to shake off). No one’s gonna bat an eye if you tell them you’re gay (there might be some unavoidable roommate awkwardness, but many schools are developing gender neutral housing for this). </p>
<p>IMO, your best bet is Vassar or another LAC. I talked to a friend there about political correctness a few weeks ago and she said that people bringing non-PC language quickly find out they might upset people and correct it. Another friend at Princeton, however, complained to me about “pretentious white boys” using language that offends her. </p>
<p>Yeah, to be honest literally no one says that anymore… It’s so immature and there are many other reasons that people don’t and shouldn’t say it. But I wouldn’t base my college decisions on just this one phrase maybe being spoken by a small fraction of that college’s population. However, a large homophobic population would be a problem at any university (and I’m pretty sure there’s no college that is majority homophobic in the US)</p>
<p>This whole thing seems completely backwards. This is a phrase comparatively seldom in use nowadays, but you seem to fixated on being offended by it - but you feel free to be rude to anyone who disagrees with you and call them ‘twats’ which is a vulgar word for genitalia, but you don’t feel that’s offensive? Okay. I’ll be happy staying here in the ‘Deep South’ with more progressive and conscientious people than I’ve met living anywhere else in the country - shockingly less racist than when I lived up North. Seems that stereotypes and generalities aren’t actually practical in the real world. But like it’s been said - you do you, man.</p>
<p>@Vctory Many MPs in general are twats…even ones who don’t use offensive language It’s seen as socially unacceptable to vote UKIP. Most Tory MPs are fine (the Conservatives supported gay marriage). Even if they did use homophobic language (which I don’t recall), it’s not something that’s common amongst the educated population. </p>
<p>Thanks for your advice. I see the point you’re making about a person’s language not always being representative of their personality/ attitude. Also, it might seem like I’m one of those militant gay people, but I’m really not. “That’s so gay” or “You’re so gay” was never a problem to me, but it does make me feel uncomfortable now. I probably wouldn’t correct someone on it even if I heard it. I accept that it’s perhaps different in the States, but from those I know, there is no debate to be had. If I used the word “gay” in that way in front of a teacher (or even another student) then I would be socially outcast and strongly disciplined. </p>
<p>@irlandaise I’m not fixated on being offended by it, I was just using it as a measure of the attitude of students at specific institutions. It’s not something I like to hear, that’s all. :)</p>
<p>I’ve read through this thread (although it wasn’t a very pleasant read) and here’s what I think: you kind of ** are** one of those militant-type people. Why are you making such a big deal about your sexual identity? I don’t get it. If you’re gay, whatever. Most people you will encounter on American college campuses won’t make a big deal out of it, unlike what you’re doing here. </p>
<p>Has your question been answered? The answer is that “that’s so gay” is a phrase you will never hear anywhere in the United States, because nobody says it anymore, because I honestly don’t think it was a phrase that was ever in vogue here in the first place. I agree with a previous poster that it seems like you’re looking to be offended, but truth is, the vast majority of us college students are a pretty accepting group of people! Surprised? </p>
<p>If anything, * you’re * the close-minded one to be writing off an entire region of the United States as too backward, or an athletic league as too uppity to understand you. </p>
<p>“And now you’re claiming that white people are oppressed. I see a growing trend here. You are continually arguing for using offensive language towards minority groups. First it was gay people, then it was Asians and now it’s black people. You must be proud.”</p>
<p>Wait…what? When did I claim that white people were oppressed? They aren’t. At least not in a general sense. There are plenty of individual groups of white people that are indeed quite oppressed. </p>
<p>However, my point was that anything can be deemed offensive if one tries to make it offensive. Nice job trying to label me as racist and sexist (I’m not), but you’re kind of grasping at straws here. Someone else pointed out your usage of the word ‘twat,’ which is a vulgar term to describe genitalia. That could be offensive to many women. Please stop using it. </p>
<p>The deep south is far too backwards for you? Generalize much? Some southern areas are among the most progressive areas in the US. Not everywhere in “the south” is contained in the Bible Belt, and not everything contained within the Bible Belt can rightfully be called “the Bible Belt.” </p>
<p>Word of advice - If you’re going to spend your entire life looking for places to accommodate you and your perceived “differences,” those “differences” are going to play a substantial role in your life. You are making a bigger deal out of your sexual identity than just about anyone will. You aren’t going to be ostracized for being gay at -any- US university…at least not in any sweeping sense. Will you encounter people that will have problems with it? Absolutely. People can be amazingly ignorant. We have a large percentage of people in this country that feel like the legalization of gay marriage is somehow a threat to “traditional marriage,” whatever that even means. There are stupid people in the world. However, this constant sensitivity and offense over such things only feeds into the perceived differences. This is much akin to an atheist being deeply offended by a Nativity scene on public property. It’s stupid, petty, and counter-productive. </p>
<p>I agree with teenbodybuilder and I also would like to comment on how this discussion was basically dead before the OP made three comments where one of them was about how he didn’t want this discussion to get off kilter. </p>
<p>Definitely shouldn’t base your decision off whether people say a hurtful phrase. That being said you should avoid schools that are outright hateful towards homosexual just like how black people should avoid places like UA and ole miss.</p>
<p>^I’ll mention, though, that the racism found at UA and Ole Miss is almost exclusively confined to the Greek life, and isn’t as widespread as it’s made out to be. For any future applicants, I suggest not ruling it out automatically. I know many ‘non-white’ people who attend there without issue. They recognize the reputation the university has, but haven’t encountered any personally. Likewise, they are all very proud of their school, and don’t consider it “outright hateful” in the least. (And that kinda of glossing generalization - especially from people without firsthand knowledge - is really irksome.)</p>
<p>yeah, I don’t have any experience with the schools just what I read online and there were multiple events at those two schools. Nobody should rule out a school based solely on its public image but it should be a heavy consideration especially if it might involve your safety at the school. I will stand by my “outright hateful” statement (although I should have said the incidents fell into that category not the entire school) though because some of the incidents were just that. </p>
<p>I’m pretty sure this is the elusive internet creature known as the ** social justice warrior**. I had only heard of these before and never realized someone could actually be so absurd, but here you are, I guess. </p>
<p>Quote from UrbanDictionary (not the most reliable site, but it sums up this phenomenon pretty well):
<p>^That’s exactly what I thought the of op upon reading the first post.</p>
<p>As to the Ole Miss/UA discussion, I’d advise future applicants to keep an open mind instead of writing things off based on hearsay. I don’t know of incidents that have threatened safety and personally put more stock in those that actually attend them, and the administration that has been quick to punish incidents that do come up.</p>
<p>After all, if both universities were really that racist, I doubt that that students at both would have been able to conduct a peaceful protest for Ferguson, but they did. I digress, to each their own.</p>
<p>That’s exactly it. There are going to be niches at any school. There’s going to be the “saving myself for Jesus, traditional marriage” type of groups, there are going to be atheist clubs. There will be groups that are for all practical purposes the “unofficial racism alliances,” and there are going to be African American and Latino clubs. There will be PRIDE clubs and other LGBTQ clubs. There will also be science clubs, math clubs, anthropology clubs, mounting biking clubs, political science clubs, “let’s sit around and smoke pot” clubs (these are typically unofficial), and let’s devote ourselves to sobriety throughout our college years clubs. </p>
<p>Anybody can find their niche. There may be some racists and some homophobic people at any college. They may even be in the majority at some colleges. But the point is that anyone can find their niche at essentially any school. </p>
It’s seen as socially unacceptable to vote UKIP. Most Tory MPs are fine (the Conservatives supported gay marriage). Even if they did use homophobic language (which I don’t recall), it’s not something that’s common amongst the educated population. </p>
I digress, to each their own.</p>