Is it a dilemma? If you can’t afford it or won’t pay it, just say that she can’t ED that school. If you want your family to be able to compare offers, then, again, just say that she can’t ED that school. What’s the dilemma?
If you can afford it and will happily pay for the ED school, then what’s the dilemma?
I’m not saying that this applies to you, but we often see posts from parents who find that college costs/choice are the first time they’ve ever had to consider saying “no” to their child. And some parents just can’t bring themselves to do so. Again, not saying that this applies to you. Others are reading this thread and it might apply to some readers.