So I’m reading a few things - we’d like UMASS and Pitt - two fairly different schools - and we likely qualify for need aid - would it be enough?
Then I read I’d love if he landed at BU - which is nothing like UMass and Pitt. Northeastern would be more so but still not.
I think you start with the SUNYs - such as New Paltz which you already mentioned he didn’t love, Bing, Buffalo, and Stony Brook.
I don’t see how schools like Union or Lafayette fit - because he wants bigger. Rochester too. But you want assured private - York College of PA. Very low cost.
Syracuse fits - but - will it get to cost?
I’d imagine the two privates most likely to get to cost are Clarkson (smaller, tech focused - my counterpart is paying $40K for his kid - and Hofstra, which has big aid.
A recent UNH parent posted their student got $20K merit - so that would put you at $36K if it happened. URI could hit with merit. U Maine is known for matching.
One suggestion - and they don’t have ABET mechanical engineering but they do for general engineering - James Madison is $47K but potentially can get to 35. They have a concentration in Electro-Mechanical Systems. Gorgeous campus - more in line with UMASS but the actual campus is smaller…but not the undergrad population. Harrisonburg is a smaller town.
One final sure thing:
Pitt and WVU are 75 miles apart. If you consider Pitt the NE, then WVU is the NE. I don’t know where you are in NY - but I used New Rochelle as a starting point, and both are 6 hours 15 minutes (they were 6 minutes apart).
I bring this up because WVU, which shares aspects of UMASS (smaller city) and Pitt (big time athletics) - is $44K. I don’t know where you fit - but it’s going to cost less than SUNY - potentially substantially.
I’m all about the sure things - because you’re really grasping for something and that something will be vastly different than you want (which is really Syracuse based on what you described).
Good luck.