<p>It’s all a matter of your kid’s attitude and who they hang with. D goes to a small school with a junior/senior combined school. The majority of the girls play the “who can get the cheapest dress” game. Sure, one girl we know spent 500 bucks but we only spent 70 on D’s dress and most of her friends went to thrift stores and got great dresses for under 30 dollars. You’d honestly never know. The boys? More suits than tux’s. There was no pressure to do the hair and manicures. No rented limos or anything like that. Dinner was included in their prom ticket so easy-peasy. D is attending her boyfriend’s prom in a giant, super-wealthy school this week and I’m sure some of those kids will be far more intense about it but D and her boyfriend aren’t playing the game.</p>
<p>The more relaxed proms and attitudes are more fun. The more you buy into the night needing to be “perfect” and a “memory to last a lifetime” the more crying you get lol. I know the girl with the 500 dollar dress at D’s prom cried 5 times that day (twice at the actual prom!) Mom complained about it but I also know she buys into those “perfect high school experiences” her daughter must have.</p>
<p>I will say that FINDING a dress is a pain. In our area (which is one of the largest counties in the country) outside of bridal shops (which were crazy expensive and generally too over-the-top) nobody carries more than a handful of option in stock… not Macy’s, not Nordstroms even. We ordered D’s dress online both this year and last. D really just wanted a knee-length dress that was a good cut with nice fabric that could be “dressed up” for prom but simple enough to “dress down” for an opening night party or a more formal college event. </p>
<p>My second and last child is a boy and I suspect we’ll shell out the money for a nice suit he can take to college… his high school is pretty low key with the prom stuff too.</p>
<p>D rented her gown from a motion picture costume house in Hollywood. $50. Green silk chiffon worn by Deborah Kerr in 1958. Best dress in the entire prom. Her other option was a dress that she had bought in a Junior League tag sale the year before. ($38) pink chiffon Bob Mackie Couture. It’s a lot of fun and cheaper to NOT go retail. And there’s no way you are going to run into someone else at the prom with your dress.</p>
<p>This makes no sense to me. My proms were only four and five years ago, and no one did a big production in “my day.” I took my boyfriend to my junior prom; the next year, the conversation to ask a friend of mine in the cafeteria went like this:</p>
<p>Me: “Hey, [good friend’s name], since you don’t have anyone to go to prom with, and I don’t have anyone to go to prom with, do you want to go together?”</p>
<p>Him: “All right.”</p>
<p>Me: “Great! It’s a plan.”</p>
<p>And then we went to class. Why does it have to be more complicated than just asking a question? Why does everything now have to be choreographed and staged for photography? </p>
<p>My youngest went to senior prom six years ago. Trip to the outlet mall for shoes and dress. I think she did go get her eyebrows threaded or her nails done with friends. She did her own hair.
She had dinner together with friends at a friends house, they all went together in several cars and came back there for the night.</p>
<p>Why in heavens name, would someone be so shallow to think they had to have a prom date taller than them if they were female or shorter, if male?
Whatever happened to wanting to go with a special friend, or if you didnt want a date, to go with a group?
I know all kinds of beautiful women who happen to be tall, whose husbands or boyfriends are shorter than they are. I feel for that young man who was the " default" date.</p>
<p>I think our kids pick up a lot of their stress and attitude from us.
Yes prom can be a big deal in high school, but its just a dance, not something that is going to matter in 10 or even 5 years.</p>
<p>@musicamusica one of D’s friend rented a dress from a youth theatre costume shop for next to nothing and it was stunning!</p>
<p>The other bonus of renting or buying used is that you have some actual options in color and style! At the shops, the color and cut spectrum can be incredibly limited. If you are looking for a dropped waist because that is best for your figure… you better hope dropped waists are in that year!</p>
<p>My boys tuxes came from Ebay. Both sons ended up needing/using them in college and for weddings. Both were under $99 and both still use them. We update the shirt/tie/cumberbund/cuff links when I found a great sale at Kohls online for under $10 for all. 7+ years of use and I just pay for alterations occasionally.</p>
<p>Daughters were easier, both wore dresses from Ross Dress for Less, $29.99 and made sure they could use for other occasions. They had their friends over for make-up and hair, so no cost there. They did go out for dinner ahead, always Cheesecake Factory.</p>
<p>I as the mom had a wonderful time and really enjoyed all the festivities. Miss all that.</p>
<p>Enjoy it while you can, time is fleeting.</p>
<p>Kat
ps. wanted to add third son was JROTC so he wore his uniform since they had colorguard at the prom. No cost at all there, and it was his job to keep everything in tip-top shape, including shining his shoes!</p>
<p>My S and most of his friends seemed to have no interest in proms, as only one that I can think of went. When I was a senior in HS, interest in prom was very low. I hardly knew anyone who went. It was mostly football players with sophomore girls. :)</p>
<p>I really think that it would be better to return to the prom in the gym decorated by the kids model. The current situation is just way over the top, IMHO.</p>
<p>On the other hand, as I’ve said before, my high-maintenance girly-girly cred is abysmal. I didn’t even have my hair and nails done for my own wedding. </p>
<p>Not at all — and I’ve got 2 girls who had two different experiences. </p>
<p>D’11 was more expensive. Dress. Had enough hair to put “up” so there was an appt. Nail appt. Went with a bf, so date was a bigger deal. Bought flowers. This is probably what you’re hating because there were appointments to schedule and running around to do on “the day.” Kid wanted everything perfect and so was a little crabby at times, but I really wasn’t driven nuts or over irritated with anything.</p>
<p>D’14 is the lowest key kid on the planet. About 3:00pm (and her date is picking her up at 4:00, I might add), she says, “Well, I’d better go get dressed.” </p>
<p>Our prom is put on entirely by a group of parents. We do a lot of fundraising and betting for donations in order to make the prom affordable for all kids. Dinner and after-prom are included in the ticket price, which is $25-$30 a kid. </p>
<p>*On the other hand, as I’ve said before, my high-maintenance girly-girly cred is abysmal. I didn’t even have my hair and nails done for my own wedding. *</p>
<p>I put my makeup on in the car while my fiancee drove to the wedding.
I did do my older daughters hair.( for her prom, from the look of her pictures, she did her own hair for her wedding)
The weekend of her prom, was opening day of boating and her & her dates limo never showed up, so his mom dropped them off at dinner. ( which was at a fancy club that somebodys parents must have belonged to)</p>
S2’s school actually has theirs in the commons/cafeteria area. It’s so beautifully decorated one would never know it’s the same room. Last year I had to drop him off at the school for lacrosse practice on prom day and the principal himself was out cutting the grass on a riding mower. </p>
<p>Lol. maybe my dd just isn’t as confident as your daughter when it comes to height @cptofthehouse she has always been tall…everyone ALWAYS comments on it. Ever since she was a little girl. She has towered over everyone in her school. With the exception of the boys on the bb team. </p>
<p>@Proudpatriot I wish it was that easy. I have had no reason to go to a formal function, neither has she…</p>
<p>The fellow that she is taking goes to a different school. He has his own prom and lots of kids are taking “default” dates. I think I would much rather that than a date who is her bf. too much time and energy goes into bf/gf relationships. I’m not a fan of love while in highschool… @MichiganGeorgia. Too many emotions, wasted time(in my eyes) & then if he is pressuring for sex…I like the idea of a default date just fine!</p>
<p>@emeraldkity4 not sure how tall you are, but has your size been an issue ALL of your life? It’s funny how others hangups can seem to trivial to other people. We all have our hangups. She’s not perfect…in a perfect world she wouldn’t be asked how tall she is or if she plays basketball, always be called giraffe, stretch(on a daily basis)…if only we could walk in another persons shoes for a day huh? </p>
<p>The dress was an issue because she is tall and wanted to wear heels. Throughout all of this my brake line went, my front axle & my powering steering line all went bye bye. To top it all off her braces came off last week after 4 years(long story about an adult tooth that wouldn’t come down)…she had appts 2 days in a row & the ortho is an hour away. Just a long week with appts. & 3 car issues in one week!</p>
<p>She is usually a pretty easy kid but has wanted to go all out for her prom…some other kids are going out even more! Renting Rolls Royce’s, Bentleys,. Etc </p>
<p>Thanks for the input! I always wondered if those same people comment on how short kids are…it’s the same in my eyes. Pointing out something different about a child.</p>
<p>OP, your D is a great kid, and it sounds like she just wants to break out for one evening as she says goodbye to HS: braces coming off, going to a great college…she wants to be a knockout that night. She wants to be a swan. I can see why in her case, on this one evening, having a date that she can wear heels with without towering over him is important to her. I hope she has a great time, and your sanity isn’t tried too much in the process!</p>
<p>Mom of tall girl here. She dated a boy who claimed to be her height, but that was only true if she slouched
She had a hard time feeling dainty/feminine while wearing clunky flats, but in the name of “love” she did wear them. Next BF was 6’7"" so she wore the highest of heels to that prom. </p>
<p>As long as she doesn’t treat him like second choice, all is fine. Hope she has a great time!</p>
<p>Our prom was two weeks ago, and yes, I think it was stressful. DD2 was asked by a guy she’s liked for 2 years, but as a ‘friend’ (they are also going to the same college), but then she talked to another boy so first boy pulled out. Boy 2 asked her as a friend, but he was very nice, gave her flowers, bought her tickets, paid for the limo (we offered). Then the drama of buying the dress, shoes, should she have her nails done, should she cut her hair. One of the hardest things was the bra. You don’t realize how few 32A corset bras there are in the world until you go looking for them. More drama about what to do after the prom. Some friends were going to a beach hotel, but her date wanted her to go to his lake cabin, 1.5 hours away. I said no until I learned his parents would drive and be there. She ended up doing that and staying an extra day. But much much drama.</p>
<p>DD1 bought her own ticket because her boyfriend is in college and couldn’t get here. Then a nice guy asked her, and he joined all her drama friends. One girl’s parents hosted a before and after party that was very nice. BUT I did have the dress shopping issues as I was trying to keep it cheap. In the end, I spent double what I wanted to on the dresses (DD1 has agreed to wear hers to her wedding!) and I think I would have paid $10,000 for the shoes by the time we had looked at every pair in town. Ended up at David’s Bridal getting a paid dyed. Also will be used for her wedding.</p>
<p>I thought it was stressful and not that much fun. The picture taking before was fun.</p>
<p>Proms do get alittle intense. My oldest two had no interest in going but my third went for 3 years --the first year with an “older” woman who asked him and picked up the dinner tab and I paid for the tux rental since he was too young to have a job yet – fortunately after having one prom under belt junior year where the girls picked a very expensive restaurant an hour away, wanted limos etc. and the whole she-bang, the boys got together and planned the senior year prom experience and really ramped it back which I was happy about. After junior year I heard so much griping about the costs as they were hanging out at my house, I finally blew a gasket and told them I didn’t think they (the boys) should be spending all that money and that they (the boys) needed to speak up and they remembered the next year which made me happy…perhaps other moms said the same thing. There’s no reason for the girls to spend a bunch of money either, but for some reason in our area the girls don’t pay for anything (unless, I assume they want a new dress and some I guess buy the guy a boutonniere). I don’t think those kids, boys or girls, should be spending 200 - 300 hundred dollars out of pocket on a high school dance. What on earth to kids of limited means do? Parents can help by encouraging the kids to keep costs down and tamping down grandiose ideas.</p>
<p>You know, different things stress different people out. Sometimes the stress is fun in memory, sometimes not SInce I don’t care much about the prom, and neither did any of my kids, it just wasn’t a big deal. Now college costs, academics, certain behaviors…my hair has stood straight up from those things and others that some parents don’t give a fig about. So we all have things that bug us. </p>
<p>None of my kids went with a SO to their proms. All arranged type dates from friends looking for matches. My son got asked through tertiary sources this year. I know the mom and she says the kids there like bringing in new dates from elsewhere for their proms, not their own school mates. </p>
<p>I’ve helped close friends with weddings, one a very rational person, except about the wedding. Yes, those were stressful.</p>
</p>
I hope she has a great time, and your sanity isn’t tried too much in the process!</p>