@hebegebe : I get it, and the anonymity of this forum may certainly pose the same level of privacy as that relied on in a personal moment.
I know our really strong students (and as I’ve said, stellar in this situation) walk the admissions road to places like The Institute and find the lifelong buzz about them and their achievements to be louder and stronger than an internal review and consideration of the possibility that not every door at which they present will open for them. (In your son’s friend’s case, at least not the first time around.)
This made me smile:
“Perhaps out of frustration, in a conversation with my son he wondered how others did so much better when he only got into his “safety”. Well that safety is a place that 95 percent of students would be thrilled to attend.”
I once quickly re-directed one of my children on a flight when she began to detail a friend’s high reaches and safeties, parroting her friend’s downturned tone when
a particular ‘safety’ school was mentioned. So glad I did, as a woman in the row ahead of us heard my daughter’s mention (not having caught the sour tone) and engaged us for about 25 minutes on the school, at which her daughter was happily enrolled. She offered to give us information or answer any questions my daughter might have. (Proud to report that daughter shared parts of her own journey, as well as politely inquired of community life at the college in question.)