<p>Eagle Boards are run differently in different places. In many places, nobody on the Board will know your son at all. I will suggest to you that the Eagle Board is probably not the place to air your family’s disagreement with BSA on religion and homosexuality. The Board won’t ask about your views, but they may ask about his, especially about religion. If he says he doesn’t believe in God at all, they may reject him, and he won’t win that appeal, either. (If a scout says that he’s gay, that would also cause him to be rejected, by the way.) There are lots of people inside and outside of Scouting who disagree with these and other policies, but BSA is free to manage its own membership as it wishes. Some of these things may change over time, as they have in other countries, but I’d hate for any particular boy to be put in the middle of those disputes.</p>
<p>Thanks for the link. What do you do with all those addresses-just say my kid just made Eagle, please congratulate him? </p>
<p>My son is a straight Presbyterian, so that’s a couple of issues we won’t have to worry about.</p>
<p>Don’t know if we’ll have a ceremony or reception-can’t imagine who would come. Sometimes when you’re a kid without a lot of friends, it’s better to not have the party than to have the party and have no one show.</p>
<p>missypie;
For our son’s Eagle ceremony, we doubled up with another scout (a neighbor and friend) of his. So it became a joint ceremony–we then had two families with people to invite to make sure we actually had guests!</p>
<p>We also held the ceremony during his high school graduation weekend, which allowed relatives to come who were in town anyway. Both boys had actually earned their Eagles months before. It worked out GREAT for us to share the event–took alot of stress having two families split costs, work out details, etc. I’d highly recommend the “double ceremony” route. It was also appealing to the boys, neither of whom really wanted ANY ceremony at all.
This way, they were “on stage” together, rather than highlighted. My S in particular, hates having attention drawn to him. </p>
<p>Even the boys, once it was over, agreed that they were really glad they did it. To be honest, it turned out to be an emotionally rewarding ceremony for all who were there. Both boys’ dads were also extremely active in the troop and were teary-eyed. I’ll never forget that day and the wonderful little speech S gave (MY son? who knew?)</p>
<p>Don’t skip the ceremony. You’ll remember it forever and more importantly, so will your son.</p>
<p>S’s troop is the oldest in our state and the trappings of all the ceremonies, whether regular Court of Honor or Eagle Ceremony, were very traditional. I don’t recall anyone requesting letters of congratulations, but there may have been a troop leader who took care of this. We did have to pay for the flags that were presented that had flown over the Capitol. A nice feature in our troop was that parents were recognized for their support and the dads received small pins and the mothers, who had been receiving small pins for each rank advancement, were presented with the ribbon including these pins, along with the new Eagle pin by their sons.<br>
Our troop had an Eagle ceremony only once each year and it was like planning a small wedding. We bought the invitations from BSA and had them printed, along with programs. All the former den mothers and several teachers were included. Thank goodness there were three other Scouts being recognized so their families could share in the work of organizing the reception which followed! curiouser is right - the more the merrier when it comes to sharing the duties of an Eagle ceremony. A wonderful occasion!</p>
<p>We had no say whatsoever in our S’s Eagle Ceremony. Troop does it once or twice a year, usually during Christmas holiday, when the host organization can arrange it. We were given no input as to the date. They honor multiple boys at a time (my son’s had 4). The ceremony included dinner. But with just the troop and parents, and family members of 4 boys the ceremony was quite crowded. It was a nice ceremony, but exactly like every other one our troop has ever done. Which was fine with me, because I’ve tried to “stay out” of Scout stuff and leave it to my son and sometimes DH.</p>
<p>Can your son have his ceremony with other troop members? Also, if you just invite family and the adults who have helped him to achieve this milestone, you’ll have a number of people there.</p>
<p>Good luck, and congratulations!</p>
<p>You may be surprised how many people you end up inviting, and how many will attend. Think about people who have helped your son along the way, in school, sports, music lessons, etc. Many of those people have an emotional investment in your son, and will surprise you by wanting to come.</p>
<p>Hunt: My D and I went to a ceremony when her HS boyfriend became an Eagle Scout. His mother & I joked about how he was such a cliche of a Boy Scout. Really nice kid.</p>
<p>It might work to have the ceremony the same weekend has HS graduation next year. Of course by then the troop might have forgotten who he was. As mentioned, his best friends in the troop are only 1st class so no sharing a ceremony with them…the other boys his age either made Eagle a while ago and never attend or gave up a while ago. But who knows? I won’t rule out a ceremony but I’ll see if my son wants one. </p>
<p>It’s hard to convey the dislike we have for the current troop leadership…how hollow for those folks who obstructed his progress, rather than helped him along, to shake his hand and congratulate him at his ceremony.</p>
<p>Missypie, your S over came many more obstacles than most! Not only Asperger’s but an unsupportive troop leadership.</p>
<p>I also had many disagreements with how our troop was run - we had an authoritarian Scoutmaster who had been with the troop for more than 10 years, and it was his way or the highway. When I wanted S to request recommendation letters in the spring so his teachers wouldn’t be trying to do them at the same time they were doing college letters, and wanted to get all the Eagle stuff out of the way before fall of Sr year so we could concentrate on college stuff, he sent out a letter to the entire troop listing all the Eagles we’ve had in the last 10 years (a lot) and that all of them had done things the same way and in the same order, and stating that “some people who don’t understand the rules” were expecting special exceptions for their own convenience, but that it wouldn’t be allowed. I was LIVID. S & I read the entire Eagle handbook and understood the rules perfectly well - it just wasn’t the order or timing the Scoutmaster wanted, but it was all within the rules. S ended up getting recommendations and completing paperwork in Sept of Sr year when he definitely had better things to be doing. I knew another Mom who YELLED at the scoutmaster because he dragged his feet so long that it took her son 6 extra months to start his project and his grandfather died before he made Eagle. I also knew 2 other families who switched to a different troop because they were determined to finish Eagle before senior year and they knew this Scoutmaster wouldn’t let them. Funny though, one kid whose dad was on the Troop committee was allowed to make Eagle as a sophomore. Hmmmm…</p>
<p>The sad part - S loved the hiking and camping. But he was so fed up with the Scoutmaster that once he made Eagle, the only time he went back was for the next year’s Eagle ceremony. He has had no contact with the troop since then. Kind of a shame.</p>
<p>Thanks for your support. Sad that there are troops like that. For years, only the sons of the scoutmaster and the assistant scoutmaster have made Eagle.</p>
<p>I know that there are many terrific and supportive troops out there. We just didn’t find one.</p>
<p>Recognizing a good troop is pretty easy. Finding one can be hard. I don’t have time to do this justice, but here is WashDad’s guide to a first-rate troop:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Do they do thing “by the book” or do they believe “the BSA program is fine, but we have special needs so we only use the parts that work for us.” Surprisingly, perhaps, the correct answer is “by the book.” I’ve been involved in two troops that were on the way up in numbers of boys and in quality of program, and both of them did so by abandoning their own ideas and hewing to “the book.” When you think of it – it makes sense. BSA has been running a youth program for boys for nearly 100 years, and literally millions of adult leaders and Scouts have been contributing to “the book” over that time. What makes any given leader the idea that they are smarter than all those other experts?</p></li>
<li><p>Does the troop have an active outdoor program? Do they go camping at least once a month? Do they go on a high adventure trip AND to summer camp EVERY summer? If not, pass on this troop.</p></li>
<li><p>Who stands at the front of the room during meetings? If it’s the Scoutmaster, pass. If it’s the Senior Patrol Leader, give them a point.</p></li>
<li><p>Do the boys wear their uniforms? You can have a poor troop that wears the uniform, but I’ve never seen a good one that didn’t.</p></li>
<li><p>Are there lots of adults at the meeting, but in a different room or sitting quietly in the back? This is a very good sign. It means that adults are involved (good) but know enough not to interfere with the youth leaders (better).</p></li>
<li><p>Do any patrols have the National Honor Patrol Award? This is a sure-fire sign of a good troop that follows the patrol method.</p></li>
<li><p>Do the boys clump into their patrols, or does the troop meeting look like one mass of undifferentiated boys? A strong patrol identification is a good sign.</p></li>
<li><p>Does the Scoutmaster have so many awards hanging from his shirt that he looks like a Chilean admiral? This is tricky – some great Scout leaders have lots of fruit salad and wear it proudly, because they earned it as part of serving the youth. Some really lousy leaders are “award collectors” and don’t really get the program. So, a Scout leader with lots of “stuff” on his or her uniform may be off-putting, but it isn’t necessarily bad. (My uniform has medium stuff.)</p></li>
<li><p>Ask the Scoutmaster “what is Scouting about?” If he says it’s about camping and the outdoors, that’s bad. If he says it’s about learning “leadership” that’s OK, but not great. If he says it’s about helping youth grow up to be mature adults who are equipped to make ethical choices in their lives, give him a gold star.</p></li>
<li><p>Ask the Scoutmaster what happens in a typical Scoutmaster conference. If the answer includes tying knots or showing first aid skills – that’s bad.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Whew. I wonder how many tpyos are in there?</p>
<p>Lafalum,
Your comments make me so thankful for the wonderful leadership my S had in his troop. He completed Eagle early in his freshman year of high school, as did 2 close friends. Their ceremony was in August just prior to the start of sophomore year. In his troop the boys are encouraged to finish early as the leaders are somewhat aware of the increasing pressures in high school of sports, driving (and girls), jobs, the college application process, etc. Hearing from some of you makes me remember that it is easy to take things for granted when there is no fly in the ointment!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>S’s ASMs call these distractions the 3Gs: Girls, Gas, Grades</p>
<p>I think WashDad’s list of criteria is very good. I would like to expound on his first point, though. I think what he means is that the troop does its best to follow the rules and programs that are provided by BSA. I agree that this is good. But don’t confuse that with a troop that has its OWN strict book written by the adult leaders, and which is strictly enforced. The BSA program is quite flexible in a number of respects, and it really emphasizes letting the boys run the troop and make decisions. So you need to probe a bit into what a troop is really saying when it says it does things “by the book.”</p>
<p>Washdad, I have a big problem with the “boy run troop” concept. Every year, the boys vote on what their outings will be. Without fail, they do an “electonics” camp, where they get a pavillion at a park and run a bunch of power strips in and play video games all night. There are annual overnights at the laser tag place. Frequent bowling outings and water park visits. I don’t recall that any of these activities meet a single merit badge requirement. They have not done a “high adventure” outing during our 6 years in the troop. Never a trip to Philmont. </p>
<p>In my opinion, boys of that age need a bit more guidance on their outings. Perhaps the adults could come up with a bunch of possibilities-ALL of which meet the requirements for some badge or another-and then let the boys vote on those. </p>
<p>Also, having the boys select for the Positions of Reponsibility makes me insane. The most popular boys get the elected positions, then they appoint their friends to the appointed positions. My son had to wait a full year after he had fullfilled all of the other requirements to be a life scout, because he could never get a position of responsiblity. They had boys who had absolutely no interest in advancing taking the POR, leaving boys who needed PORs waitiing and waiting. Again, the boys need adult guidance-a list of boys who need PORs to advance, with instructions to slot them somewhere.</p>
<p>Missypie, I’m sorry to say that it sounds like a very troubled troop. It seems to me that neither the adults nor the boys really understand what they are supposed to be doing. A good troop will be boy-run and have a good outdoor program…and the boys will elect people to positions of responsibility who can actually do the job, because they know how important it is. The solution is not to have the adults take over, but to get some training for everybody, both adults and boys.</p>
<p>I agree. As I think I mentioned, the parents of the 6th and 7th graders are pretty dismayed at current troop leadership…it wil change soon, I believe.</p>
<p>Missypie, I really do have to hand it to your S for sticking it out so long in scouts! My S who also has Aspergers made it through cub scouts fine (my primary goal was to provide him with organized opportunities for learning social skills); he moved on to Boy Scouts after cub scouts but our district’s troop was the opposite of WashDad’s criteria for a “good” troop - and the lack of structure, organization and leadership at both the scout level and the adult level was a huge turnoff for both S and me. Which was of course very unfortunate for S since the teen years is precisely when Aspies need more practice in developing, not just social, but also leadership abilities.</p>
<p>I will say that my son enjoyed the video game and laser tag “camp outs”, certainly more than tent camping. As an Aspie, it gave him an opportunity to do these things in a group where he wouldn’t have necessarily been invited had a group of boys from school gotten together to do the same thing. But they do so many more of these type of activites than classic outdoor experiences.</p>
<p>as an eagle scout, it sickens me that parents consider discussion of the life statement as such an integral part of the college admissions process to discuss it so openly on cc.</p>
<p>i feel that it would have been disturbing if it was kids discussing this, adults talking about how their kids get eagle is even more so.</p>
<p>join scouting and traverse the trail to eagle for love of adventure, love of community, and love of God. don’t do it to fill in two lines on your college resume.</p>