It need not be, if you’re willing to outsource it.
When my father died, we were referred by neighbors to a very good realtor, who sold the house within weeks (in “as-is” condition) for a fair price. She also connected us with a person who runs tag sales. The tag sale person asked if we (my sister and I – the executors) would like it if she let a local charity pick over the stuff that didn’t sell and take what they wanted. We said yes. She also asked if we wanted a trash hauler to take away anything left over after the charity people left. We said yes to that, too. She deducted the bill for the trash hauler from the proceeds of the tag sale. We still made a little money on the contents of the house and we did no work at all.
The only real problem came up at the very beginning, when we had to figure out what to do about the two guns in my father’s bedroom closet, which we were afraid to even touch. My sister had the brilliant idea of calling the local police. A very pleasant young officer showed up an hour later and removed the guns, no questions asked.
YES YES YES. Be very careful about an inherited IRA and a Trust. You can trigger a taxable event meaning the entire IRA balance become taxable on transfer. If is has a large balance, you could loose a lot of money due to taxes. In most cases you can continue to defer taxes and are only required to take minimum distributions.
Ack…probate. I am my mother’s only child. She had some CDs, and bank accounts, but no real estate or other property to sell. It took a full year for us to get this all through probate. It made me crazy!
It didn’t help that I had to do an involuntary conservatorship with my mom…so really, I had control of all he assets. But it also meant I had to deal with showing that I had been responsible in terms of this. Then that had to be dissolved.
I went the first time to probate court, and my lawyer who was awesome…thought it was so simple that she didn’t need to come (and bill me).BUT that conservatorship somehow meant that I needed an additional trip to Probabe because whatever was needed was not included for my first trip. I just cried.
The judge had recently lost his mother (it’s a small town so we all knew each other). He kindly sent me to another room where I filled out whatever I needed to fill out…and he sent me on my way. He did not require me to return.
But…over a year…for a very very simple and small estate…and only one heir.
Do NOT get me started. I was executor for my mother’s estate. No real estate, some investments, a couple of annuities, but…all it takes is one uncooperative heir/family member. Settling what should have been a very straight-forward matter took well over 2 years (and several thousands of dollars in attorney & accounting fees.)
I’m trying to be careful because of what I went thru with my parents. My mom died unexpectedly. Everything she owned was co-owned by my dad. Their unscrupulous lawyer put her car at a value that pushed her estate into,probate, even tho my son was 16at the time, and was gong to take title of the car. I fought with that lawyer, but he basically,just wanted a huge fee. This lawyer messed with a prominent Miami family, and lost his
License, but he still got thousands of $$$ from my mom’s estate.
After another bad experience with a lawyer, I left his Vanguard funds but put everything else into Fidelity. I had him sign a paper to sell his condo. I did POA and all other forms. I changed the Title of his car. It’s a long time ago, but this felt like my fourth job. His estate never went into probate, his belongings, and my mom’s, were distributed to relatives, friends, family, and charity. Not one legal,fee.
After my dad died, everything passed to my mom. She made sure she had Transfer on Death and Beneficiaries on all bank accounts and investments. Those all were split between all us children. She was going to do a TOD on the house but the attorney advised her against it. Something about ancient dowry laws and our spouses having a say when it came time to sell the house, so she didn’t. The house and her car went thru probate. I paid a lawyer $700 and everything was handled in 6 mos. We then were able to sell the house and the car and split it up. We didn’t have any problems. This is in Ohio.
I recently finished as executor for my parents’ trust and dissolved the trust. It took about a year (plus a bit because I was lazy and filed an extension for the final taxes.) My dad was a very organized person (compulsively so) and not at all a hoarder, and that made it very easy for me.
It was just my sister and I as heirs, and we get along well. That helps a lot.
We both traveled to their house twice, once soon after my dad passed and then about 1.5 months later over spring break for a memorial service and to empty the house of anything we wanted to take or wanted to sell or give to my parents’ friends. We put the house on the market then, and happily it sold quickly. We selected a Realtor who knew how to manage all the paperwork I needed to sign remotely. We had a service pack up everything else and donate it or discard it. Then, a service to clean the house.
– Have a well-documented trust
– Have your files organized
– Make sure your kids know where to find things – files, keys, phone numbers, passwords…
– Put your assets in the trust. I was told that if >$150,000 was outside the trust (in CA), it would have to go to Probate. The amount outside the trust was less than that for us. Life insurance annuities didn’t count against that and my dad had a pension, no IRA.
– Try to keep your house in relatively sellable condition.
I think the legal and CPA fees cost about $9000 overall. But, I did a lot of the legwork and paperwork.
We need to redo our trust, partly because one of our kids has changed his name. I could never be as organized as my dad. Luckily there was nothing online to deal with, as he was not really a computer user.
One thing I have not yet seen mentioned in this thread is the designation of a guardian for minor children (in the event that both parents were to die). That was the main thing that drove my spouse and I get our estate plans done, about 15 years ago.
Of course now our son is no longer a teenager (having turned 20 a couple months ago), so our will(s) are out-of-date – the guardianship designation could be deleted, although I am not really sure how much else would change…
I am right now in the process of “executating” my mother’s estate, which is insolvent, so that’s a lot of fun (umm, not really). I have told my father that he cannot die until I can get this first one done – only one at a time, please!
Colfac, good,luck with that. My dad had a stroke sitting by my dying mom’s bedside. Welcome to one of the three worst years of my life.
Still, Wills need to be updated when. The kids turn 21. They no longer need a guardian. As mentioned above, my son is first for POA and Medical, but second is the professional, my doctor and lawyer.
I admit i didnt read the whole thred due to spotty internet… but is no one mentioning the MOST important part of estate planning, which to me, is the planning for taking care of YOU while you are alive but not there?
Having my moms stuff in a trust that we could take control of helped so much. The POA and health care POA only get you so far. Due tomsome unfortunate evil people i also get guardianship AND conservatorship … i didnt need the conservatorship because of the trust, but at that point i was doing belt and suspenders…
Anyway, planning for ease after you are dead is good an, planning for ease when you are gone-but-not-dead as my mom was for five years is even more important for the kids, imho.
Getting rid of the house before I die will, I hope, help with the “what shall we do with mom?” part of the equation. I do plan to sell in 5-10 years and that will free up money and force me to live someplace smaller and easier.
I was named executor of my parent’s estate, but everything was in POD or TOD accounts when the last spouse died. They were renting, so no house to sell, and possessions not worth much, so no probate needed since it fell under the state’s minimum values. We simply divided any sentimental items to family and friends, and donated the rest to one organization. One planner advised we submit for probate anyway, to assure that there would be no future liens or payment requests. I did review with an attorney, and they actually advised that I could do it all on my own, and probate not necessary with everything in POD/TOD accounts.There were a few minor sibling issues, but nothing major, so relatively “easy”. It still took a lot of work, time, and nearly a year to distribute. Because there was no probate proceedings, no one was officially named executor. Each account had their own specific protocol, and each sibling had to deal direct as a beneficiary. The worst was dealing with mutual funds with a well-know broker. I swear each time we jumped through one of their hoops, they pulled out another one. Best advice is to keep meticulous records, which the children know how to find.
Glomming on to this thread to ask a related question:
At what age do you feel comfortable making your adult children fiduciaries/executor? We are going through some estate planning changes and have 3 things to decide right now:
Financial fiduciary
Medical fiduciary
Trustee/Executor of our revocable trust
We are kind of sandwiched right now between parents in their 80s and our kids in their early 20s. One of our parents is a great candidate for the job other than age - fiscally prudent, financially savvy, complete integrity - but I know health, either physical or mental wherewithal, can change at any moment when one is in their 80s. The kids are responsible enough for their ages but don’t have much life experience or financial awareness yet (something we’ll be proactively working on). Unfortunately, for various reasons, we don’t feel comfortable with any of our siblings in those roles. Anybody faced this scenario? What do you do? Obviously, we will be each other’s first pick. I’m then thinking of picking the parent of ours that would be good if he is willing, with my kids as backup to their grandfather in the event he can’t fulfill his duties. In the meantime, we’ll work more closely with our kids to try to get them up the learning curve on financial matters and revisit 3-5 years down the road or if warranted sooner.
The other option would be to put someone from the law firm in a paid capacity if something happened to both my spouse and me. Not sure how I feel about that, though. The firm comes highly recommended as one of the best in our state but it is a new relationship for us.
I’d be interested in hearing from any others that have faced a similar decision.
I have 3 kids - each is primary for 1 role - Trustee/executor, POA, Medical decisions; each is secondary and tertiary for the alternate roles.
They assume their roles at age 35 (an arbitrary pick; hopefully not needed so early); one of my sibs is named if needed before the oldest turns 35. I believe the way it is written, the oldest will assume all roles if the others are not yet 35.
They are situated for good advice as they all have accounts with my financial planner.
Give it to the kids. You’d be surprised at how fast they can “grow up.” The likelihood is that it will be many years before their services will be needed. Include them early in the process.
And if you really want to help, have your funeral home picked out. In an unexpected event they’ll need to pick something quick.
In this year’s will revision, I’ve made D1 (age 28) the personal representative. I know her fiancé, who has some business background, would help. And fiancé’s parents are both lawyers – if something happens in the next 10 years or so, I’d assume they could give good advice/lend a hand as well. D2 wants no part of it – her organizational skills are not a strength, and she’d rather have her sister take care of it.
My dad passed away at 82. His will simply rolled everything over to my mom, who lived ten more years after he died. She was 92, when she passed. By then, us kids were in our late 50s and early 60s.
My dad’s estate planning was clearly driven by estate tax deferment. I get that. But, to me, it seemed like a throw of the dice; the death of his kids could have easily preceded that of his wife. Per stirpes, the grandkids would have still benefited, if any of us had passed before my mom. Cold comfort.
Moreover, my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s at 72 (ten years before he died), but he made zero preparations for long-term care - and nevertheless insisted on staying in his home until his death. It was all left up to his wife and kids to provide for his care. A huge mess.
I keep asking myself: why did he do these things? He was a smart guy. Why was he not more thoughtful?
This history has shaped my own estate planning. My kid gets all that he needs while he is young - not just HEMS but big chunks of cash every five years. Everything by the time he is 40. And, I don’t want him to be burdened at all by anything that could afflict me. No way. It’s essential to me to be remembered well.
What do you wish your father had done, @whatisyourquest? Isn’t it normal to have things rolled over to your spouse upon one’s death?
If you have gobs and gobs of money where you can give it away when your kids are younger and still be assured of having enough to cover yourself and your spouse in old age including worst scenario health events, perhaps it is okay to transfer some of that wealth earlier but most don’t feel they live with quite that amount of comfort. Plus, there could be tax consequences. Plus, many think such generosity erodes young adults’ independence, work ethic, and fiscal prudence. Additionally, many want to see their wealth transfer continue to subsequent generations which is likely to be more common when wealth is transferred to one’s kids in their 50s, 60s, then there 20s, 30s. Like lottery winners, I think wealth tends to get pissed away by young people who haven’t worked to earn it themselves.
