<p>It sure was. It just may take a lot longer than you planned!</p>
<p>“It just may take a lot longer than you planned!”
The program director told her to not continue with this family because they are very (not just sort of!) concerned about their reputation in the community if they are seen as being needy.</p>
<p>oh please…the ham could have been left by my son, who has a bad habit of tossing all the healthy parts of the sandwiches I make for him and just eating the bread. Sounds exactly like something he would do, not even considering whether it was offensive or not.</p>
<p>Then its probably better that you leave them be. They sound like the hard-core unchurched to me to mistake friendliness with accusations of poverty. perhpas they feel they are being evangelized, eve if that is not the case. If they are new in yr community maybe its just best to let your church do its good works otherwise and perhpas they will see the light. </p>
<p>I know an otherwise sand and normal woman who runs screaming when I say to her something about religion–just normal stuff like, Oh I cant do that until sunday afternoon, or I’m sorry your son was hurt, I’ll light a candle for him at church–things like that. I doubt she will ever NOT be unchurched. I realize that ultimately this is her issue not mine. Don’t let this couple’s issue be yours.</p>
<p>Maybe they are young and don’t know how to really be gracious yet. Some kids are truly a reflection of what their parents forget to teach them. </p>
<p>I would wait and watch and see if they made an honest mistake or are unfortunately one of those couples whom you wonder if they have any friends.</p>
<p>But, hey, is ham a hate crime?</p>
<p>I’m sure it is from the pig’s perspective.</p>
<p>Roger that, curmudgeon. The <em>inclusive</em> definition of hate crime - including the poor pig’s POV.</p>
<p>"perhpas they feel they are being evangelized, eve if that is not the case. If they are new in yr community maybe its just best to let your church do its good works otherwise and perhpas they will see the light. "</p>
<p>Their kid is in the church’s preschool and they are already part of the community of the church, by choice. It’s not an evangelizing church. Part of the national council of churches and all of that hardcore liberal stuff!</p>
<p>We have at our school and church programs like this, and they are wonderful</p>
<p>I have cooked several meals, I think its just in the way a family is approached</p>
<p>You never know the maturity level of the people one is trying to help</p>
<p>What has worked for us is having just one person contact the families, to get information on special needs, etc- dietary, times…</p>
<p>I have only heard of people saying no to the help because they had large families who were around and they just didn’t need more food, and wanted that aid to go to others, and that is really all this family needed to do if they were embarrassed…it was indeed an interesting response</p>
<p>" have cooked several meals, I think its just in the way a family is approached"</p>
<p>I must not be making this very clear and I apologize for that! They were approached before the birth by the director of the program, were pleased to be asked, and selected their menu. After the birth, my daughter called the family to pick a date and was told “oh we’ll see, call back in a few days” which she did multiple times. The family wouldn’t answer the phone and we had been told that they were staying completely in the house with the new baby. After trying them, we were eventually told by another family in the preschool that the family is avoiding the calls because they think people will say that they’re poor if they accept the food. They owe no explanations for declining, but I think that after choosing the menu and such, they should have declined directly rather than pulling down the blinds and pretending not to be home!</p>
<p>To understand how people are reacting to this, you should know some of the context. There is tension in that community between the long time residents and the Somalis and there have been previous incidents involving ham, including one where a young man threw a ham into a mosque.</p>
<p>It is very likely that the students who left the ham knew it would be offensive and that was why they did it.</p>