<p>As a New Yorker I marvel at Fendergirl’s posts. She’s a recent college grad who actually saved a down payment and bought a home of her own! Then she writes about enjoying a job where she can choose to work at home. I want to introduce my kids to her and PA!</p>
<p>thanks!! it took a LOT of savings!!!</p>
<p>twomules says “the young people can’t wait to leave but they come back to raise their kids” - that’s so true where we are, too. And although I loved raising my kids here, I don’t want them coming back.</p>
<p>But maybe that’s the wrong idea. Is it better to see the kids in the big world, doing big things, or raising kids in the small, safe one?</p>
<p>i don’t think there are any right or wrong ideas… you raise your kids where you see fit. that’s more of a personal preference.</p>
<p>After 20+ years of living in NY, I am finally on the countdown. I certainly will not be able to retire here. Our older daughter was visiting the other day when we discussed this. Basically, she has spent her life here and was amazed that we would not be staying. Cold climate, horrible traffic, very high taxes, utilities and other costs ---- what’s to like? On the other hand it will be difficult to leave one of the world’s cultural centers to live I don’t know where. Finding a place for retirement is going to be difficult. Any suggestions? I’m not hard to please. I just want a place with a reasonable cost of living at least somewhere near the national average, a decent climate with not too much cold weather and few cloudy days, accessible healthcare, some cultural opportunities and excitement, and probably also somewhere in the western half of the US where I can drive to the major national parks.</p>
<p>You raise your kids where your jobs are located, not where you see fit.</p>
<p>My reaction to those numbers is…whoa.</p>
<p>Living, as mathmom says, 30 minutes from midtown Manhattan, I live in a different world (so you can be in that part of the country, and not live like that.)</p>
<p>We keep downsizing our income (under 100K and shrinking rapidly–still a lot more than many of my neighbors, so I sure can’t complain). Despite that, we put both kids through top schools, and, temporarily, own two houses. We sent the kids to public schools (not considered very good ones), didn’t use college counselors, tutors, prep programs, etc, yet none of those lacks seemed to keep them out of good universities. Besides college tuition and second (retirement) home, we have lived like misers–which made those things possible.</p>
<p>At least one of my kids is following my footsteps. My D, four years out of college, works a fairly low income job, is self-supporting, and is well on her way to having a down payment saved up (she and BF together have one for sure.)</p>
<p>S is still a work in progress as far as the self-supporting part, but he does share the family cheapness, which is good. :)</p>
<p>Three years ago when we were feeling pretty good, we decided to upgrade to a nicer house. We found a beautiful new home for twice the value of our current home - 7500 sq feet. The bank decided we had enough income - they included my bonus because I had a history of getting higher bonus each year. The contract of sale for our house was suppose to be signed, and the deposit for the new house was suppose to be wired to the lawyer, then my husband said to me, “What are we thinking of?What are we going to do with such a big house? Kid are leaving in a few year.” We cancelled both transactions. I am sure our real estate agent was not happy about it. Now three years later, with the financial industry in turmoil, I am very thankful we didn’t buy the bigger house.</p>
<p>Brick home, 2800 sq ft. 4 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths, 3 living areas, 2 car garage, gorgeous custom pool and hot tub, excellent public schools … that is what you can get in my part of the world (suburban north Texas) for $225,000 (perhaps less in this economy.) Of course, in the summer, the electric bill is $800 a month…</p>
<p>Stitch together the posts of fendergirl, Dadof, eDad and susan and you’ll have a fair approximation of our situation. We left our San Francisco postdoc world to find a better place to raise a family. We’re here in the Boston/NYC corridor because that’s where the pertinent educational, pharmaceutical and medical institutions are. Like eDad we’ll likely leave when we semi-retire to escape the costs and congestion. The family portrait painted here on CC is just one of many and I suspect that’s true for many CC posters. It’s part of our lives for sure, but it isn’t our entire life (despite what my inlaws in the Midwest may think!).</p>
<p>I would not live in NYC even in a free apartment. Every day logistics alone seems to be torturous. Add crowds, smell, dirt. Not life for me. Even living in very economically depressed area of the country where it is extremely hard to find a job seems to be better than that. We visit NYC for at least a week every year. Sorry for all who absolutely have to live in places like this and pay top $$ for their living. Oh, you can buy a very decent house in very good school district for about $180,000 easily in my suburbs.</p>
<p>If you want low salary and high cost of living, consider Hawaii! </p>
<p>The salaries are way below the huge housing and other prices. That is one of the reason many folks live with their relatives. One girl I spoke to the other day said there are 17 people living in the house she lives in–all relatives. The neighbor across the street at one point had both his adult son & two grandkids from that son as well as his adult daughter, her husband and her children all living with him and his wife in their retirement because none of them could afford a place of their own. The D had to move out with her family because her kids were being abused by their cousins! There are several other extended families living in our neighborhood & all over our state, mostly out of economic necessity.</p>
<p>Houses on our neighborhood are about 60 years old, single-wall wood construction and often held together by termites holding hands. The last time I heard, they were on the market for $750,000-over a million! Houses are on 7500 square feet of land and often 3 bedroom, 2 bath, with a carport for ONE car in the front! Sizes of the houses range from about 1200-3500 square feet.</p>
<p>Attorneys around here for the prosecutors and public defenders start around $40,000/year as do public school teachers and engineers. Milk costs about $6/gallon and bread is about $4/loaf. I have friends who are public school teachers with two kids (both husband & wife with masters degrees & lived frugally) that have finally after 20+ years of marriage been able to buy a two bedroom, one bath townhouse with a subprime mortgage.</p>
<p>We bought our first (and only!) house her in San Diego (near the coast) 21 years ago and have raised our two Ds who are now 17 and 14 here. We stayed here because the public schools are some of the best and when the kids were little I was able to stay at home for many years then only work part time for many years. </p>
<p>We decided not to move to a bigger place as so many people were doing and although our place is small we love it. No need for us to downsize in 4 years when both girls are in college. Our house will be paid off when kids are done with college and even though housing prices have gone down our community has not dropped by much as it is very exclusive.</p>
<p>H and I have been able to travel all over the US and the world with our family as we have never been “house poor.” Both Ds have grown up competing horses (hunter/jumper) that we board less than 10 miles from the house. We have the La Jolla Playhouse right around the corner from us so we get to enjoy world class entertainment.</p>
<p>I would definitely suggest San Diego as a place to retire to. There are many areas here that have been hard hit by the houing downturn, but they will come back in a few years.</p>
<p>Yes, HImom–and why we left Hawaii. The most rotten termite infested shacks for $1,000,000? No thanks.</p>
<p>OP–I’ve lived most of my life in Ohio, Arkansas, Missouri, Kansas (and a short stint in Hawaii). I can’t stand the thought of long commutes and traffic jams and it boggles my mind that so many millions of people are willing to live like this every day. I wonder why they stay in an unpleasant situation like that. Things are less competitive and more low key here–and that’s what I like. My favorite house was in rural Arkansas–2,300 sqft, 1/2 acre, lake view–$79,000.
I bought it in the mid 90s, and wish I never sold it. </p>
<p>Of course you all don’t want to move out HERE–we have tornadoes ;)</p>
<p>Oh yea, that’s another thing about HI–many do send their kids to private school because the opportunities there are significantly greater than those offered at public schools, especially for HS. This adds another $15,000 or more/year per kid. The flagship U has not much of a campus life, so many who can do leave the state & pay private or OOS rates as well, tho there is WUE which offers 150% of in-state tuition for those schools that participate.
I wish housing were more affordable & salaries were higher. So many of our kids have trouble finding decent jobs and places to live so ultimately have to relocate to where they can have a job & home.</p>
<p>NewHope - we think y’all are nuts!
The same for NYC - a great place to visit, would never want to live there.
Sonoma County, though, I know why people want to live there. I would also like to live in Boston.
My ideal retirement would be to have one nice moderate sized house close to one of my kids, in an area with good airfare, maybe a college town for the cultural and recreational benefits. Then I would love to have 2 small investment condos - like studios or one bedrooms, one in a large city, Boston or Chicago and one somewhere out west like Colorado Springs or Arizona. then I would spend my retirement a few months in each place, tavelling or going to concerts, doing all the things I can’t do now.</p>
<p>oh and Edad - Tucson, Arizona or Colorado Springs, take a look. you might have to do a small town outside of one of them, but it depends what you want.</p>
<p>We’re in CT also…the poorer northwest corner. We live in a rural area on two acres of land with a lake at our corner and a very nice 4 bedroom home. We would stay here forever…except that our kids will likely NEVER move back to CT…it’s just too expensive for them. Our house is almost paid for and we were lucky we built between the “highs” in housing costs. To be honest, our mortgage is much less than some pay for rent. We can’t really afford to “downsize”. A smaller house would cost us more than the one we live in.</p>
<p>We’ll see what happens when retirement time comes. Right now, we’re happy staying here, and our house is a great place for a summer vacation with the lake and all.</p>
<p>showmom- what you pay to board your horses would probably be a house payment in another part of the country. (based on our own experience)
I live in another coastal Ca city. Like you we will see no need to retire elsewhere.</p>
<p>cangel, I think Tucson is OUT, especially for my wife. We lived 4 years in the Phoenix area. Tucson is not very attractive, very hot, and ZERO, ZIP, NO culture. We would definitely need condos elsewhere to get away, and that would have to be most of the time. CO Springs is on the long list, but it is nasty cold with a long winter.</p>
<p>atomom, I “lived” for several years in Ohio, Cleveland to be specific. Back then it was really bad and indeed the river actually did catch on fire. Cleveland has come up a long way but the climate is among the worst with virtually no sunshine from September to May. I also lived in Little Rock for one VERY long year. You are right the pace is SLOOOOW. So slow I would never be able to stand it even in my retirement years. And I am not a Baptist. Enough said. I did enjoy my year in Kansas City but I can’t think of any reason to return except for maybe for a chicken dinner or some BBQ.</p>
<p>mom60 - You are absolutely right about the cost of boarding a horse here by the coast in So. CA being as high as a mortgage payment! This expense has actually decreased for me this year as I now only have one horse and one DD showing and competing!</p>