<p>We paid for S#1’s undergrad education and told him that the “spigot” got turned off the day he graduated. He is attending grad school and is fully funded by the university. We will do the same for S#'s 2 and 3. Our kids education has always been our highest priority. My H’s parents did not go to college. My mother was the first girl on her block to go to college, and my dad went to college at night while he worked during the day. H and I are the first “professionals” in the family, so it has been a bit easier for us to fund our kid’s education. My undergrad education was paid for by my parents, and I paid for my post-undergrad work through loans and savings accumulated from high school and college jobs.</p>
<p>We are paying for both kids’ college educations minus the Stafford loans that they are taking. They also have to work for any spending money for recreation, clothes, books and school supplies. We pay tuition, room, board, and transportation home. AND because we want to speak to them, we pay for their cell phones.</p>
<p>I was the first in my family to attend and graduate from college. My mom was a single mom back in the day when that was not very common. She was unable to contribute to my college expenses. Between jobs (I had several) and some small loans, I paid my way at a public u. That was when a full year (including tuition, room and board) at a Public U was about $1200. I had some student loans that were fully forgiven as I taught in a low income area for a number of years. I attended grad school on a fellowship.</p>
<p>DH’s family was the opposite. Generations of his family had attended college. His family saved for years for their kids’ educations. DH, however, went on the “twelve year plan” and the resources his family had ran out about three years before he was done. He did a coop program working one semester, and taking classes the other for those last three years. I worked and we scrimped a lot so that we could pay his tuition. It all worked out fine.</p>
<p>So…OP…there ARE a lot of ways of dealing with this.</p>
<p>As with NSM…we expect a certain level of GPA for our support in college to continue. And we are fortunate that we are in the position to be able to contribute to our kids’ educations.</p>
<p>Northstarmom, I’m impressed with your actions and that your son responded so positively. I’m just curious, what would you have done if your son refused to pay his tuition for the first year? I would have trouble kicking out my own kid, even though that might be the best course of action.</p>
<p>Of course, he was probably raised with the idea that he would be going to college as a matter of course, and so his ego has been the driving force behind his going to college no matter what the terms.</p>
<p>with respect to my own children, their father paid their tuition, room and board and gave them spending money each month. he and I both worked our ways through college. My oldest does lament that her father didn’t add conditions that she maintain a certain GPA in order to continue having her tuition paid. She said she would have studied more had that been required (she graduated with a 2.7 despite being gifted, was very busy and involved with student politics during college). This low GPA has been the major stumbling block to her plans now for graduate school. Her own children will have to meet that requirement.</p>
<p>My parents paid for my education, so I am willing to pay for my kids’ education. We also had help buying our first house, and I expect to extend similar help to my kids when the time comes. I have worked for a living since completing my education, so I don’t feel that this kind of help spoiled me, nor do I think it will spoil my children.</p>
<p>My parents paid for my college education and my husband’s parents paid for his, so it was a great gift to start our married lives together debt free. We have decided to do the same for our son. He has a scholarship for the tuition, and we are paying the room & board and fees. He pays for his entertainment, parking, and miscellaneous expenses.</p>
<p>For us it was not the question of paying for S college education But allow him to make a Choice of futures. </p>
<p>You will read through the admission and financial aid threads and feel how money affects the quality and quantity of choice.</p>
<p>Out of approx 140K in tuition/room and board, our son is paying for about 22K of it via student loans and he paid about 6k of it out of his own pocket while in school. We paid for the rest (abt half cash and the other half loans). He had a full ride offered to him at a less expensive university but his choice was to attend elsewhere and we felt it important that he field some of the financial burden of his choice (esp as a business major). As an incentive we offered him a “rebate” of one semester tuition if he was able to graduate early, which he did, and he used that as seed money to get himself on his own two feet after graduation. He knew moving back home wasn’t an option, barring some “disaster”. We’ve seen that situation repeat itself over and over with too many friends. In the end, it’s the personal decision for each family, but there is something to be said for encouraging at least some feeling of financial responsibility while they are in college.</p>
<p>Our son is responsible for tuition, spending money and books, but then he started out with a $76,000 college fund. We are paying room, board, medical, car insurance and cell phone.</p>
<p>He is attending RPI but with research has recieved $25,000 in scholarships every year and will be graduating in May with about $45,000 of his college fund in tact.</p>
<p>Making him responsible for a majority of his college has been a great learning experience for him, made him value his college years and made him acutely aware that nothing in life comes without sacrifice.</p>
<p>In retrospect we would not have changed a thing.</p>