My cousin said that grade deflation depends on what teachers you get. Some might consider a C an average, which is frustrating, especially in classes like English where there is A LOT of subjectivity. 
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Hey guys, thanks so much for answering all my questions. Less than 3 days before decision day and iām confused out of my mind. Iāve narrowed my choice down to Deerfield and LPS, but im just so confused.
Going into the process, my family had originally thought of being a day student. But we realized for DA and most of these schools, boarding school is really the only option. And the thing is DA is perfect on paper, and I love it, but iām scared of the uncertainty it brings. The whole grade deflation thing about it scares me so much, and iām scared that I wonāt be successful at DA. I have leadership positions and some volunteer stuff at my current LPS, and I donāt wanna give all of that up for DA just to not be successful where iām at boarding school. In other words, I donāt wanna look back thinking, āoh man, everything was so good at my old school, and now iām not achieving at anything here at deerfield.ā
and on top of that, my parents are super scared to send me to boarding school. they said theyāre against but will compromise if i 100% wanna do it. i donāt want my mom to be lonely and for them to miss me a lot.
the thing is, iām scared that i wonāt be successful at DA. iām scared that my grades will completely go down and iāll hate all the extracurriculars i used to love and iāll end up regretting going because thereās so much gray area and uncertainty in the decision. and thereās so much sacrifice involved. iāll have to give up anything i have at my lps, my good grades, going home every day, how easy everything is. my parents will have to make sacrifices to, they plan on moving and itās a huge financial commitment. what if this whole bs thing turns into a flop? deerfield is the risky rocky road, and honestly, iām so scared to take that risk.
i just donāt know what to do.
Hi,
You mentioned
Going into the process, my family had originally thought of being a day student. But we realized for DA and most of these schools, boarding school is really the only option.
I am not able to understand this - Are you staying at drivable distance to DA? Then being a day student is still an option - unless you meant the part about going home early. My son says most day students hang out till late night and weekends at the dorms mainly to socialize and to be with friends, but going home after the EC (around 6 I think) is also an option some kids take.
I think the fear that you are feeling that you might not be successful in a new place is very common, especially if you are thriving in the current school. Change is very difficult, even for adults. But I also tend to think that all these schools have had years of practice selecting students , and they would not admit someone whom they donāt think will be successful at theirs.
You should probably try to reflect on why you wanted to apply and go to these schools in the first place. As others in this forum would tell you, if it was for the whole experience (theatre, sports, maybe?) , you have to evaluate all those as well and not just one aspect - grade numbers. I really am not able to understand this discussion about grade deflation, so I will not comment on that.
My son went to DA hoping to find a peer group that resonate with his interests and passions, to find people to be inspired about, to not have to work his way alone at things that matter to him, but to have others along for shared experiences. There are kids much better than him at many things and that is very rewarding and inspiring in the growing age. You get to learn so much from your peers as well.
i donāt want my mom to be lonely and for them to miss me a lot.
My son is 8000 miles away in a different time zone, and I donāt get to see him except for holidays, and I miss him terribly every second, every day. It is impossible not to miss your kids 
But I also want him to have the best schooling experience - and we try to talk everyday, still share experiences, and anyway I have to miss him at some point or the other - when he goes to college, so that I donāt think would ever have a solution.
When we left my son after parentsā weekend in fall, I was almost in tears, and his Dorm parent at DA came and told me āThanks for sharing him with us, we are so grateful to you.ā
I was against sending him too, it is so difficult for a parent, I can totally understand your parentsā fears
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Grade deflation is a COMPLETE NONISSSUE!!!
(Can I be any clearer???!)
Colleges all know Deerfield. They KNOW how rigorous it is. They KNOW how to put a GPA into context.
Take that concern about Deerfield out of the equation!
I would add that boarding school, for kids that are ready (you are) is life changing. All 3 of my kids really became the best versions of themselves in boarding school, in ways that wouldnāt have happened in a public school. They all loved their time at BS and all feel closer to their boarding school than their college.
I will also say that the network of alums and family is mindblowing. I wish I could give specifics but they would be too identifying.
Finally, as the saying goes, we regret what we didnāt do in life more than what we did.
My advice wouldnāt be so strong for everyyone, but you sound like you ājustā have a case of pre-decision jitters and insecurity (guess what ā probably most of the other Deerfield admittees do too!)
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Amen! I prefer to call it honest grading.
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I find it absolutely crazy when I see 90% of people my age with 4.0s. Like everyone at other public schools. Then me with my 3.79 from a LPS that doesnāt grade inflateā¦.people telling me that my GPA was too low for top schools. They were obviously wrong.
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Grade deflation is not a real thing to be this worried about. Any college you are applying to- many years from now, knows what a GPA at a top prep school means vs elsewhere. Itās ok to be worried, this is a big decision. Are you going to hate every hobby you loved just because you get to a new school? unlikely. You might find something new you like too that you never even considered. Are you going to adjust your learning style to meet new expectations? Probably- my kid did, and I am betting most need to on some level. Give yourself some grace to take risks, not overthink and know it wonāt be perfect. Try to move past the worry and focus on why you applied in the first place. Good luck with your choice!
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When your choice is between boarding school and LPS, the best thing is that choosing boarding school doesnāt eliminate the option to decide after a year that youād prefer LPS. I doubt that will happen, but it remains an option! (Much better than when trying to choose between 2 private schools!)
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Just replying for emphasis. So true.
I have a kid at rigorous independent school. They definitely do NOT all have 4.0s and 3.9s and have exceptional college acceptance (>25% went to an Ivy/MIT/Stanford).
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There are so many ways to be a healthy happy student, and it sounds like you have a great LPS. Listen to your gut. Youāre happy where you are, and that is a great thing. I think the right boarding school should scare you, a wee little bit. That means thereās growth in your future! But if youāre more than just a little scared, perhaps it isnāt the path for you. And thatās 100% ok.
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My daughter said at Deerfield, underclass day students have to leave when study time begins. For 9th and 10th it is in their dorms.
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So sweet of you to not want your mom to be lonely. When my daughter went to DA I was so worried that I would be a mess when we dropped her off. But she was so excited to be there and loved it so much from the very beginning that I could only be happy for her to have found her place. I missed her but I was more happy for her than sad for myself.
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hey!
You will do amazing things wherever you go. Life is a journey with twist and turns.No doubt you learned a ton about yourself in the process. Use those lessons and be great no matter where you are at school. You are lucky to have parents that love you so much.