<p>I grew up with LOTS of rules (“advice”), and boy, did I have fun when I got to college! ;)</p>
<p>@29happymom26 . Whip, cream? Oh my!</p>
<p>Wow, I sure got beat up.
My daughter’s comment was that most of my list was common sense.</p>
<p>Lot of the list was originally advice for myself that I kept, and I was was just trying to pass on to my kids the things that I tried to live by.</p>
<p>So repeating, it is not a list that I created to give them. It is mostly a list that I kept for myself, that I slightly edited, and sent to them.</p>
<p>And I am able to fully enjoy myself and have an interesting, fun and fulfilling life, while following my own advice. It does not make for a boring life.</p>
<p>I failed to make such list. Whew I’m glad they both survived freshman year.
I guess the only item I have in my list is try to find a job and get off my payroll.
So far it worked for one.</p>
<p>Spend the first 18 years teaching, then let 'em fly. If you’ve put in the time, and given them time to grow in their responsibilities while at home, chances are they won’t make TOO many choices you’d be disappointed in. Late night pizza, a game session online, and coffee to get one through a late night study session are not things to be avoided…it’s part of the fun ;-)</p>
<p>Adults are not 18 year olds. They have different interests, health concerns, and hobbies. So it would never occur to me to tell an 18 yo to do ALL the things I do as a grown person 30+ years their senior as they begin living on their own. And what’s the problem with chocolate? When it’s a dark chocolate with little sugar, there is even proof that it’s good for you. I know some religions ban coffee, but CHOCOLATE? Or do you mean all candy-but even THAT isn’t practical.</p>
<p>I just looked through the original list again, and I discovered that while I was in college, I violated 15 of the rules. It would have been 16, but the Internet hadn’t been invented yet.</p>
<p>In my college dining hall, we used to put lumps of ice cream into our coffee instead of using cream and sugar. Chocolate ice cream. Or mint chocolate chip, which is even better. </p>
<p>I violated 18 myself. Happily, none of the ones at the end, which I fully support.</p>
<p>A couple of months? lol</p>
<p>I have boy girl twins too. We routinely say “be aware of your surroundings” as a parting thing - it’s a family joke at this point. They’d tune out the rest of the list. No chocolate? That’s crazy. </p>
<p>My advice to my daughter:Don’t take any cr@p.</p>
<p>my parting note to my freshman s, (third child,older kids graduated college already) highlighted that I trust his ability to make smart choices for himself…mostly true, partly setting that expectation… </p>
<p>I personally don’t read a list of NO…NO…as advice but restrictions which I think are more appropriate for middle schoolers. my concern would be that this kind of instruction would simply have one’s child smile and nod and do what they choose, possibly limiting true openness in the relationship. I want my kids to share any struggles and know they will be supported. too many true difficulties any of our kids can encounter, and I want them to trust me. Has worked well for my family.</p>
<p>Yeah, a lot of these are things my kids knew by middle school. Another one: stay away from vans, especially those with tinted (or no) windows. Nothing good can come from a van parked or driving slowly down the street. </p>
<p>I must be an awful parent. The only advice I gave son, starting in elementary when I dropped him off at school, was, “Have a good day. Be a good boy.”</p>
<p>Yeah, same. Actually, advice happens when stuff happens but we don’t do lists. So far, so good.</p>
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<p>I missed this. Blech, boring. Respect, yes. As a princess? Nah, not my cup of tea. </p>
<p>I find it interesting though that you don’t say to treat men with respect. </p>
<p>First, the advice shoudl be solicited, if not, they will not listen. If we ginve unsolicited advice, we should choose very carefully, because it should be very very few, only the most important. My (unsolicited) most common advice was: “remember that you are a human being, not the robot, you require a certain amount of sleep. If you do not get it, all the hard work will go down the drain, cannot neglect the normal function of the human body”. It is funny that maybe because we tried to stay away from giving un-solicited advices, D. still seeks them often (4th year Med. Student) from both of us, and she learned who to ask what. However, couple times I felt that D. was in imminent danger and I demanded (not advised) that she immediately find a ride to ER. I do not understand the bravery of the pre-med and Med. Student who actually fully understand the danger of her condition but would not take a simple step of going to ER. She listened in both cases, she needed an IV in both of them. So, please, tell them, do not advise, DEMAND, that is some cases they absolutely have to find a ride and ask to be taken to ER. In D’s cases it was a severe dehydration cased by stomach reaction to medication. Which led me to DEMAND that she is watching her body reaction with any possible new medication prescirbed by doctor. Imagine that I was telling it to somebody who knows it all much much better than most other students. It could be very dangerous especially when they are by themselves in a dorm and could pass out and nobody will be there to notice.</p>
<p>No pop? No coffee? No chocolate? No fast food? That’s silly. You’re going to kill legit useful advice when you couple it with insanity. </p>
<p>I gave my kids tons of advice, some of it solicited. But never all at once. Here’s a few I can remember:
- You must go to class or do the reading (doing both is preferable, of course, but…)–going to class is easier.
- Take the class from the professor that everybody says is brilliant and wonderful, even if the topic doesn’t interest you all that much. You won’t be sorry.
- An extracurricular should either be fun or worthwhile in some real way (either to your future or to people in need). If it’s neither, don’t do it.
- Check the requirements for courses you’d like to take well in advance, in case you have to apply or submit a portfolio.
- Make a point of going to interesting campus events, like speeches by famous people. You’ll remember these for a long time.
- Become a beer/wine snob. You’ll drink in more moderation.
- Eat your meals in the dining hall. We will subsidize a fourth meal, but not a fifth meal.
- Don’t take classes for which you are not well prepared. This is especially true for foreign language.
- Most people are neither all good nor all bad. Have patience and don’t judge people prematurely.
- Nice people will make you happier than cool people.
- Set priorities for your time.
- Don’t get a TV. Watch TV in somebody else’s room.
- Don’t expect adults to call you back if you don’t leave a message.</p>
<p>@rgosula I enjoyed reading your list. It must be tough sending 2 off to college at the same time - good luck to both of them!</p>
<p>Hunt, great list!</p>