Rate my unconventional roommate essay (ver. 2)

Colleges & Universities Stanford University
1

<p>I first wrote this as a joke (and possible submission for my school’s lit magazine) after I finished all my other apps, but then I decided, why not apply just for the hell of it? I know my chances are pretty much zero, but if I sent this in, will this be too ridiculous?</p>

<p>Salutations! I am looking forward an exciting year. Are you? Before you answer (although I am sure you will say “yes”), here are some things we should clear up before we have a great time as roommates: </p>

<p>Our room allows for three actions: Partying, playing, and studying. Notice how I did not mention sleeping? That’s because we will not need (or get) any! I am going to use our room for partying to morning hours on a daily basis. No worries, I have everything from strobe lights to disco balls to keep us up all night. Although I used to be shy, I now understand the fun and importance of meeting new people. I am sure we will be able to make many new friends with our soon-to-be-famous parties.</p>

<p>In terms of play, I am very open to compromise. I have several suitcases of movies and games for both of us to enjoy. But to make the most out of them, they must be blasted at full volume. You will love it though, as my surround sound system is the subject of great envy. Plus, I will be able use the room for breakdance practice, and you are welcome to watch. Keep in mind though that I hold you accountable for any injuries or damaged furniture.</p>

<p>Study-wise, it is best if we get some time to ourselves to review our coursework. When I study, I will need you to leave the room. I will also need to use your desk to store my books and papers. If you want to study, too, I hear the bathroom and garbage room are excellent places to learn, so you can give those a try. </p>

<p>Lastly, because of my adventurous nature, I love to travel and experience new cultures, and I am thinking of studying abroad after freshman year. Hopefully you will come with me. If not, it would be nice if you could conduct my daily cleaning routine of the room for me when I am gone. I usually scrub and dust everything twice a day. It only takes four hours, so that should not be too bad. </p>

<p>With that said, I am sure we will have a great time together. You will not find any roommate as awesome as me! See you soon ^_^</p>

2

<p>Is this a joke? I would never room with you</p>

<p>Sent from my SPH-M900 using CC App</p>

3

<p>hopefully, you didnt actually submit this essay.</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/stanford-university/1269294-rate-my-unconventional-roommate-essay-2.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/stanford-university/1269294-rate-my-unconventional-roommate-essay-2.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

4

<p>It’s so out-there that it’s verging on self-parody. But hey, kudos on the courage!</p>

5

<p>My kind of humor. You sir are a gentleman and a scholar.</p>

<p>I could imagine some one writing a Sheldon roommate agreement as their essay.</p>

6

<p>I love this essay. I’m surprised that some people have misinterpreted it as serious, which I can assure you adcoms will not do. </p>

<p>“Study-wise, it is best if we get some time to ourselves to review our coursework. When I study, I will need you to leave the room.”</p>

<p>lol if the rest of the essay were filled with jokes of that caliber, this essay would have been utterly phenomenal. Reminds me of the “Catch-22” type tone. If I were you I would be proud to share this work with any future roommate, which I guess is a good sign.</p>

7

<p>seems a tad overboard but perfect for the magazine (:</p>

8

<p>Are you trying to sound like a bad roommate? The first two things don’t seem bad. If you are, I think it would have been funnier if you kept the “When I study, I will need you to leave the room” tone going throughout the whole thing.</p>

9

<p>This one has actually been toned down a LOT. My original draft was far crazier, but my parents strongly recommended me to tone it down, so I did. Although I’m regretting it now, it’s already too late so w/e</p>

10

<p>I might submit my first version for Scholastic Writing Awards and see how that turns out. What do you all think? Better/worse than the one I submitted?</p>

<p>Salutations! I am looking forward an exciting year. Are you? Before you answer (although I am sure you will say “yes”), here are some things we should clear up before we have a great time as roommates: </p>

<p>Before I get to the good stuff, I want you to know that you are 100% safe as long as I am your roommate. In order for me to maximize your well-being, I will need to surgically implant a transmitter inside your brain so I can track your movements at all times. This is to allow me to rescue you in case you get into any sticky situations. Do not fear though; as a surgeon, I have a phenomenal survival rate of thirty-three percent, so you are in good hands. </p>

<p>In terms of play, I am very open to compromise. I have several suitcases of movies and games for both of us to enjoy. But to make the most out of them, they must be blasted at full volume at all times. You will love it though, as my surround sound system is the subject of great envy. Plus, I will be able use the room for breakdance practice, and you are welcome to watch. Keep in mind though that any injuries or property damages that occur will warrant swift legal action.</p>

<p>Studying-wise, it is best if we get some time to ourselves to review our coursework. When I study, I will need you to leave the room. I will also need to use your desk to store my books and papers. If you want to study, too, I hear the bathroom and garbage room are excellent places to learn, so you can give those a try. </p>

<p>Lastly, since I believe hygiene is of the utmost importance, I will need your help in conducting my daily cleaning routine of the room three times a day. I usually scrub and dust everything for around four hours, but with your help, we can probably get it down to two and a half. The smell of bleach and lysol is aromatic and invigorating, so that should be a little bonus.</p>

<p>With that said, I am sure we will have a great time together. You will not find any roommate as awesome as me! See you soon ^_^</p>

11

<p>comparable. I think the first paragraph tries too hard. The great thing about the “I will need you to leave the room” is that it is not forced, it’s realistic logic taken to a funny but justified extreme. </p>

<p>What are roommates supposed to do? An ideal roommate keeps the room somewhat clean, does not interfere too much with your studies, is fun to be around, and can be your wingman. </p>

<p>Okay so to keep the room clean, under your logic the roommate should have to live and sleep in a different room (or something like that). To be your wingman your roommate should invite girls (or guys, if you swing that way) to take his place in the room. And so forth.</p>

12

<p>No… 10char</p>

13

<p>It’s nothing unusual. People take this to the next level. For example, one of my friends who got accepted made his essay a mathematical puzzle (he was a MOPer). It included real/complex analysis. I liked it and apparently the admissions officers did too =p</p>

<p>Another one wrote an essay in some sort of computer science language that he formulated himself (I didn’t understand it so it wasn’t C/Python/R/MATLAB/Java) and he was accepted too…</p>

<p>Point is, no matter how extreme you think you are, there’s probably someone more unconventional than you.</p>

<p>Anyway, I think the original essay is a lot better in conveying a certain tone. You should have submitted it :s</p>

14

<p>My opinion of your submitted essay to Stanford…
The beginning paragraphs were good; it had the right amount of humor and was excellent. During your paragraph about study…

</p>

<p>Uhm, that is a little presumptuous. I did not find that sentence funny. The rest of your essay was okay, but I felt the strongest point of your essay was the beginning.</p>

15

<p>I don’t think this is very creative. I understand that it’s an “essay to your roommate” but I don’t think the prompt should be taken so seriously and strictly. You don’t have to talk about things relating to your room. It’s an opportunity to show off some personal, possibly even quirky side of yourself that wouldn’t usually show up in a resume or conventional essay, but to talk about studying, partying, and hygiene just isn’t appealing, unless it is extraordinarily funny. But more power to if you get in.</p>