Another vote for giving the ED school a real chance. Buyer’s remorse is real. Your new “dream school” is a dream.
Plan to attend the admitted student day at the ED school with the goal of figuring out how to make it what you want, and just stick with that objective. Believe it or not, schools want their students to have a good experience, so lean into everything they offer that can make that happen.
If, by spring of your freshman year, you are still feeling it’s a bad fit, apply elsewhere as a transfer. But go with the goal of making it work.
I will also add that no place is all good or all bad, all right or all wrong.
This is really critical. These are all just schools, imperfect institutions run by imperfect humans. And most of the people are there because they basically like kids and like schools, but not all, and even the ones who do are again just not perfect people. None of us are.
Which doesn’t mean they can’t be great experiences overall, but it does mean no matter where you go, there will be some frustrations, some adjustments you need to make, some conflict, some tough lessons, and so on. Life stuff. And then the good stuff too, including unexpected good stuff.
I think it’s not always uncommon when a student gets into a reach and then thinks “if I got in there, maybe I should have been more ambitious and aimed even higher”. But of course, getting into college A generally says nothing about your chances of getting into college B, especially when admit rates are in the low single digits.
In my view, taking a gap year could help put things in perspective - after 2 months in CityYear OP may remember why they chose that college to apply to.
The point is not that a gap year allows students to break their agreement nilly-willy - but rather that it provides time for growth. That being said, if the OP were to find joy through volunteering in a community or taking classes abroad, completely changed focus and perspectives, and they could articulate why the ED college wouldn’t work, I think breaking the contract would be accepted. However it shouldn’t be done because they think the grass is greener at another similar college, especially since they got incredibly lucky getting into a college they liked enough to apply ED to.
The most likely outcome though if OP asks to withdraw from this college is NOT another T10 university but their state flagship, probably with honors college, starting Fall 2027. Also, withdrawing that acceptance and doing nothing with the gap year would go over very badly at any T50 university. Finally, staying home while all friends are in college would be psychologically difficult, feeling stuck in place while everyone is moving forward, due to a feeling in February. OP in September would likely blame OP from February from denying themselves the chance to move forward. However if they need a gap year to realize that it may make them appreciate college more.
So in the end, OP may think it through and realize giving a chance to their (fantastic) ED college might be better than taking a gap year.
@shjh_hsg perhaps right now, you should stop thinking about college, and stop talking with your friends about college. Take a breather, and give this some extra thought in a few weeks. A little space might give you the perspective you need to have…and the ability to weigh the pros of your current acceptance with the cons of walking away from it.
Have you accepted that ED offer of acceptance? I’m assuming yes.
Yes, to be clear, if taking a break from school makes sense for the OP, as it might, then that is a good idea regardless of what then happens with this particular college.
That’s a complicated decision, but I do feel like some kids are sort of rushed along to college before they really have a deep understanding of what they want out of college. This sometimes (sometimes) might result in difficulties forming stable preferences.
Of course as others pointed out, sometimes you also just have to take a deep breath and get over buyer’s remorse. But in the end, I think going into college excited about the experience is important, and if the OP can’t get there through the upcoming process for admitted students, then that may (may) lend support to considering a pause.
Doesn’t sound like OP wants a gap year…but what someone described above makes sense - I got into….Northwestern ED (dont’ know the school…picked a random top 10 US News school).
Dang - I should have held on for Harvard or Yale….maybe they were possible.
I note one of the good things about all this is they are not in fact going to send a Sheriff to drag you off to college.
If you decide going to college this year is not a good idea between the time you accept your offer and you make your first actual tuition payment, usually the only definite consequence is losing your deposit. Obviously one should confirm that, but typically colleges understand things happen, and the deposit is their protection.
So I agree, the OP shouldn’t feel under any pressure to sort this all out right now.
I feel about ED “contracts” the way I feel about NDAs foisted on someone who badly needs a job with the caveat that NDAs actually have teeth and ED “contracts” are not real contracts. So I’m going to treat this as a practical rather than a moral question since I think the whole ED thing is pretty immoral. You need to map out the practicial consequences. You will not be blackballed from other Universities, that would be colllusion/price fixing. The big question is will your current HS support you, meaning send out your transcripts, recs etc. or can you just do that all directly yourself next year, presuming your recommenders are ok with that. If you go to a public school, it will probably be fine. If you go to a private school, it might get sticky. Best to sound this out carefully now before you do anything. Finally, if it is U Chicago you are regretting, understand that U Chicago is very good at gaming ED that often leaves people feeling that they settled too soon, but often that is not the case statistically and RD would not have yielded better results. It’s a great school.
One bit of information that could be helpful is the first-year retention rates at top universities. It’s a factor both my children considered in determining their college lists and whether the school creates an environment that makes incoming students feel a sense of community and whether the universities were good a selecting students who “fit.” Schools like MIT and UChicago tend to do very well in first year retention, as do other schools that are known as “fit” schools. Perhaps, the OP can consider if the school they’re currently regretting actually has a high retention rate and that could bring some added reassurance.
Or that might have more to do with ability to pay….it’s an unknown. But if you can pay the $$ or find someone to pay for you, then yes, you’re more likely to stay.