<p>Nobody where I work has visible tatoos or facial piercings (1000+ employees). It’s not allowed. If you show up to an interview with facial piercings, they will tell you they have to go. If it leaves your face deformed (i.e. elongated earlobes), it’s’ not acceptable.</p>
<p>My 23 yr. old D has 2 tatoos, not visible in work clothes and used to have a nose piercing. Her job as a WAITRESS/BARTENDER insisted that it be removed.</p>
<p>The problem is more how the world at large views thing like this. I have always disliked the permanence of piercings and tattoos. I was always supportive of weird haircuts or strange colored hair as a way to show rebellion in young people.</p>
<p>Our state is poised to legalize marijuana for casual use, (Washington is one of 18 states along with the Capitol where medical marijuana is legal) & I would have to agree for legal adults, marijuana should be available, just as alcohol is. Nobody has ever overdosed on marijuana, and you certainly can’t say that about alcohol.
Granted some states are not as independent however, and you should follow the local laws even as you work to change them.</p>
<p>I have been a massage therapist, while there are people who get tattoos to show how non-conformist they are, 
there are also tattoos that have deep personal meaning and I can imagine that when the wearer sees them, it strengthens that part of themselves.
Many people have tattoos that if I hadn’t seen them nude,I never would have guessed. </p>
<p>My two daughters and I have pierced ears, my youngest also has a nose piercing and a tattoo. ( in a mostly covered area)
But her BFs parents think enough of her to take her on vacation with them.
I don’t know if her BF has a tattoo or not. Just knowing that wouldn’t tell me much about him, not like knowing something he did, like becoming an Eagle Scout. ( Whatever I think about the national organization of Boy Scouts it doesn’t shadow the accomplishments of the young men)</p>
<p>But your question is about your daughter. She is in high school, at an age where she is questioning everything and trying to find out where she fits.
It’s wonderful that she is using you as a sounding board, instead of having only the opinions of her peers to navigate the end of her childhood.
Help her to learn to trust her own judgement about people, and not to be fooled by appearance, but look deeper to see what kind of a person they are.
I predict she will grow up a lot in next couple years, and by the time she leaves for college, you will feel much better.</p>
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<p>Some people just really, really like tattoos and/or piercings. It’s not my thing, but I’ve known plenty of nice, self-sufficient people with tattoos/piercings. It CAN limit your job prospects, but then again I have worked for several bosses who were tattooed (in perfectly respectable offices). My immediate supervisor has an arm tattoo that is visible all day. In a different office, all the middle aged, middle class women were into tattoos. Tattoos have really gone from being “that thing you do to REBEL” to “that thing you do if you like tattoos.”</p>
<p>Think of it this way: the assumption used to be that women wearing make-up were morally bankrupt, but eventually it became commonplace. The social meaning of what we do to our bodies does change over time. :)</p>
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<p>Sounds to me that it’s very likely that your daughter is already experimenting with drugs herself and not merely attracted to guys in that world.</p>
<p>It’s funny. In two out of three of my jobs, people are just as likely to be heavily tattooed/pierced as they are to not be. In the third, people have them but they’re more hidden. All professional jobs. So these kinds of questions occasionally catch me off guard. </p>
<p>I have a tattoo and I used to have facial piercings (before my body decided to develop allergic reactions to just about everything). My tattoo is hidden by choice (because it’s for me, not for everyone else) but I do want more (and probably more visible ones) in the future. I don’t think I’m a loser and I don’t do drugs (heck, I rarely drink). I probably know more “potheads” that don’t have tattoos than do. </p>
<p>Fwiw, I would tell your D to hold off or get a tiny one where it’s concealed. I have wanted this tattoo since I was 13 and I didn’t waiver in that design for 8 years so I finally got it at 21. There are things I would have gotten tattooed at 17/18 that even now, 3/4 years later, I wouldn’t like anymore. This does not happen to everyone, obviously. </p>
<p>My new doctor- the one who FINALLY diagnosed me with the right condition after years of suffering and tests- has sleeved tattoos. I think tattoos are more common where I’m from though than in other parts of the country. </p>
<p>The answer to your question though is no. I promise :)</p>
<p>Happykid knows that piercings other than standard earlobe piercings and tattoos are out until she is paying for her own health insurance. Period. She had to wait for the earrings until she was 18 and could sign for that herself.</p>
<p>She’s a theater tech major, surrounded by people with piercings and tattoos. I figure that by the time she’s paying her own health insurance, she will know which tattoo artists are the good ones.</p>
<p>*The social meaning of what we do to our bodies does change over time. *</p>
<p>Ain’t that the truth!
I was raised in what I now realize was a fairly conservative suburb. I admit I got a kick out of going to a suburban gathering when I was in my early 20’s wearing my Madonna ( Desperately Seeking Susan phase) outfit. It was too easy to shock these people.:o</p>
<p>Now no one would even raise an eyebrow. ( well unless they were impressed by a 55yr old woman’s ability to pull off wearing Doc Martens with a dress.;))</p>
<p>When we first met our future son-in-law both my H&I were concerned. Lots of tattoos, although no piercings that I noted. He might have an earring, but believe me, the tattoos were far more noticeable.</p>
<p>Fast-forward 3 years and this guy is probably the most gentle-mannered guy we’ve ever met. While he does not seem the type to have been into drugs (although pot may have been in there at some point), at 30 plus years old, he is just an extremely creative type and actually gets his tattoos done free because he does a lot of art for the place that does them. </p>
<p>Over the years we’ve really gotten to know this guy and I can guarantee there is no drug or alcohol abuse going on - for one, our daughter wouldn’t stand for it. But for two, it’s just not in this guy’s character. So while i can’t speak for all tattooed, pierced folks, this one seems to counter any preconceived stereotypes of this sort of folk.</p>
<p>I have a tragus piercing (I know it sounds dirty but it’s just part of the ear) and really like the look of a lot of tattoos and would consider getting one. I’ve never done any kind of drugs. I have good friends with tattoos and with more eccentric piercings – my friend with multiple surface piercings is also somebody who went to top-5 school as a STEM major and would never consider drug use.</p>
<p>That said, I also have friends who occasionally do smoke pot. That in and of itself doesn’t mean that they aren’t productive and successful people – they might use it like someone who occasionally has a glass of wine or a beer to wind down. It is illegal, which is a big reason why I’ve never wanted to do it, but it wouldn’t mean her life would necessarily be destroyed.</p>
<p>Also, remember that your daughter doesn’t have to find 30 tattooed guys who are nice and non-drug-users. In the end, she only has to find one. :)</p>
<p>My daughter has multiple ear piercings and has had her nose stud for about 6 years now. She graduated magna cum laude and is now doing her clinical rotations to finish out her
Masters in Physician Asistant. So far none of her clinical supervisors (4) have even mentioned her nose stud.</p>
<p>There’s not ever a tattoo on a female that looks good - why don’t they understand this? They generally end up looking like dark ugly blotches. When they have a tattoo on their shoulder it looks masculine to me and hideous. The tramp stamps on the lower back connote certain thoughts and even the so-called ‘cute’ little hearts, butterflies, and the like are ugly as well.</p>
<p>Ditto with the piercings. I understand it for people who have a cultural connection (from India for example) but this idea of some ring stuck through the lip, a metal thing stuck though the eyebrow, something stuck in a nostril, something poked through the middle of the tongue - just gross and ugly.</p>
<p>Of course, none of them care what I think and I suppose there might be some guys that actually like them on females. </p>
<p>As far as connotations - I think the connotations are generally there but dependent on how the tattoos and piercings are done. If some female had a little heart tat and maybe the little nostril stud (which as mentioned earlier is gross) I wouldn’t assume they were a drug user. However, if they had the random scribbling in different places and went heavy on the piercings, especially some of the lip and eyebrow ones, I’d assume there’s a much better than even chance drug use is associated with it. For a male it’s more liberal - they can have more tats without the connotation but the piercings would have the same drug connotation. If they start to have tats on their forehead, writing on their upper neck, and certain other ones I might connote it with criminal activity - usually involving drugs as well.</p>
<p>A connotation in someone’s mind doesn’t mean they’re right, it just means the associations that individual assigns whether explicitly or implicitly, even at a subconscious level. They’re not always going to be correct and the connotations aren’t necessarily justified but they’re there nonetheless. When that person is in a position of power, such as a hiring manager, those connotations can work against one whether justified or not.</p>
<p>For the OP - given what your D said about drug use, I’d be concerned and would have many more discussions with her about the topic of drugs.</p>
<p>I don’t like the look, and I understand your concern, but there are plenty of tattooed/pierced folks not on drugs, and clean-cut folks who are. There may be a correlation, but it is not universal.</p>
<p>*There’s not ever a tattoo on a female that looks good - why don’t they understand this? They generally end up looking like dark ugly blotches. *</p>
<p>To you.
I betcha rock n roll is just clangy noise too!
;)</p>
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<p>So true.</p>
<p>Thanks to everyone for your thoughtful responses. I am probably one of many my age who had uncles or grandfathers who were vets and came back from the war with the bare breasted babe on their arm that sagged as the uncle/grandfather aged. Therefor, my first impression was tattoo=old man.</p>
<p>As for drug use, this child has just started “using” coffee with caffeine in the last 6 weeks. Anything is possible as far as what a parent doesn’t know, but I don’t think she’s doing anything stronger. The probable drug users she’s crushing on aren’t guys she knows IRL, they are musicians and other entertainers.</p>
<p>As someone who hires people, I always tell kids that there is no law that prevents me from discriminating against them based on tattoos and piercings. </p>
<p>But yes, D is a creative type.</p>
<p>No matter how annoyed I get at my kids I am very, very relieved they don’t do piercing or tattoos. Such a bad, bad trend. jmo</p>
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<p>Me too. There are so many other ways to express personal style that aren’t career-limiting.</p>
<p>My cousin has a lot of tattoo’s. He was always a creative type and had the baggy pants and all that. He’s now a police officer in a urban town on the east coast. And the best single dad to 2 adorable children.</p>