<p>tree- it’s up to the bride. It’s ALWAYS up to the bride (unless there’s two grooms in which case, well, you get the picture).</p>
<p>What we do at my photography company is that we give the bride the pics and ask if/how she wants them edited.</p>
<p>As a high school art teacher I’ve seen hundreds of tattoos. “Hey, what do you think of the tattoo I got on my 18th birthday!?” I recommend that anyone considering getting a tattoo put a photocopy of it on their wall and look at it for one year. If you still like it after one year, go for it!</p>
<p>Most young people, tattooed or not, are pretty great! (Pierced included!)</p>
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<p>I can respect that, and I appreciate your first point. As far as decorating goes, aside from those people who have a tremendous number of tattoos or piercings, there is not a lot that goes into their maintenance. And I would venture to guess that the average tattooed/pierced person spends less on these things per year (money and time) than the average female spends on makeup. Really, the argument of its wastefulness is pretty silly in light of how much time people spend primping. </p>
<p>And to Pizzagirl, I totally respect that you’re just totally not into tattoos aesthetically. I’m also really not into Ugg boots or leggings as pants, and I can’t say I have ever seen someone in the above and thought “That’s a really good look for you.” But that judgment does not extend into their character which I think is the main problem that I’ve had with some of the posters in this thread.</p>
<p>I also find the search for confirmatory studies somewhat amusing. Unscientific, really. “Here are a few correlational studies that support my viewpoint.” Really? Good for you.</p>
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Don’t think so. We own a service company that works with the public. I get many calls telling me that our service guys are well mannered, friendly and they don’t say it, but look nice. I understand that because I would hesitate to let someone into my home that looked scary. There is no way that we would hire someone with tatoos all up and down his arms or on his face. It’s just not going to happen.</p>
<p>I disagree, 3bm. Yes, there might always be some holdouts but overall, they’re becoming very much accepted. Even my state government department has zero rules against tattoos.</p>
<p>In the end it’s about exhibitionism, of course. So my reaction to the extreme pierced and/or tattooed individual is “Oh, here’s someone who wants very much to be noticed.”</p>
<p>I agree with 3bm103. A lot of elderly would not even open their door to a tattoo covered person. I know my grandmother would be terrified, and my mother, while not terrified, would STILL not open the door. There is still a huge stigma attached. Perhaps it’s regional, but a person with tattoos all over them, visible, especially face and neck has a VERY difficult time getting hired for most jobs in my region.</p>
<p>The majority of the public here would prejudge that individual as someone who is definitely not normal and as sewhappy stated, has a strong need to be noticed - draw attention to themselves. Markings all over one’s body here is not considered a “good” thing to be noticed for.</p>
<p>There are big tech companies with many managers from more conservative countries that may look down on tattoos and piercings.</p>
<p>I agree that tattoos are more accepted now and getting to be far more common with the twenty somethings and younger. Really wonderful young adult kids of several of my friends have them. I still would not want my kid to get one because I think they would later regret it and I know a visible one might affect job prospects and many people’s perceptions about them. There is still a medical risk (even with reputable places; see the Red Cross blood donation page). Many of my peers and most of my elders do make assumptions about people with tattoos. I was at a wedding recently and two of the bridesmaids had large visible tattoos (upper arm, back). Many people commented with an “oh what a shame” attitude. I am curious to see if the tattoos are brushed out in the photos. I can see a small one somewhere less visible (ankle, hip, etc.) that may have meaning (e.g. a fish for a Christian or initails of a loved one), but otherwise, I just don’t get it.</p>
<p>Fortunately for us, our progeny aren’t interested in the pain that can be associated with getting the piercings and tattoos. None of us think they look particularly classy either, so we’re fine and on the same page. One ophthamology resident I know has multiple ear piercings–don’t know if she has tattoos as well.</p>
<p>Our son has one tattoo and it’s unique. It’s of the flag of the District of Columbia. He was born there in the old Columbia Women’s Hospital when we were living on the Hill. Although we moved to NoVA when he was five he always tells everyone he’s from DC. He actually did go to school in DC from k-12, and when he was older he always hung out there and in Bethesda. </p>
<p><a href=“https://www.google.com/search?q=DC+Flag&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=fcb&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&prmd=imvns&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=MUWRUKKkEMWl2AWbzIDoBQ&ved=0CCUQsAQ&biw=1600&bih=758[/url]”>https://www.google.com/search?q=DC+Flag&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=fcb&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&prmd=imvns&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=MUWRUKKkEMWl2AWbzIDoBQ&ved=0CCUQsAQ&biw=1600&bih=758</a></p>
<p>You know, the funny thing is that even though I argue here against the quick judgments that have been voiced, no one in my family has a tattoo. In fact, neither of my kids has any piercings at all–not even ears. (I had pierced ears but let them close.)</p>
<p>As far as exhibiitionism, sewhappy, I’m sure that’s often true. I’m also sure that’s also not. I think any particular appearance choices (dyed hair, high heels, beards, shaved heads, flamboyant clothes, preppie clothes, make-up, face jobs, and on and on) might be motivated by exhibiitionism. But I think often, people just feel better about themselves with those choices. I think we need to understand that what seems stand-out-ish to us is often the center of a comfort zone for others.</p>
<p>To make a judgment about someone’s character based upon their appearance seems to be a sorry state of affairs to me. Isn’t that what we teach our children not to do?</p>
<p>nice posts garland!</p>
<p>It is always interesting to me on this board when posters assume their norm is the norm. I hang with two very different social groups in the same geographic locale. In one, highly educated & artsy, tattoos and piercings for the under 35 crowd are the norm. (Some 50 yr olds have them but fairly discreet. At least where they show. I have a sense that under clothes may be a whole different story.) In the other, my rural neighbors who tend to have little formal education, tattoos and piercings for all is the norm: even for Republican, church going, 50 something year old mothers. It’s just the fashion in this area. Nothing more or less. imho.</p>
<p>edit: important correction: for some of the highly educated, artsy youth it is a political statement. imho. If they refuse to remove piercings, cover tattoos for job interviews … they are making a statement & maybe a more complicated discussion…</p>
<p>My only comment about tatooed individuals:</p>
<p>In the last week, I had two patients whose arms were literally COVERED in tattoos from shoulder to wrist. I had to start IVs on them, and the tattoos made it really difficult to visualize their veins. But the most remarkable thing about these patients is that they both verbalized absolute over the top fear of the IV. I said, “SERIOUSLY?! Didn’t all these tats require a whole lot more time spent under a needle?!?!??!?” Both of them sheepishly replied, “well, that’s different.” </p>
<p>Call me confused…</p>
<p>I have to agree with garland - there is no uniform tattoo culture, and the reasons why people have tattoos can vary quite dramatically, and exhibitionism does not cover most of them. One of the more tattooed guys I know has none visible in professional attire - he has dozens, but they are all personal and while he still gets another every now and then they are really just for him. The most pierced person I know does not otherwise appear to make any effort to stand out - that is just how she likes to look. </p>
<p>Most of the “exhibionist” tattoos I have seen are either sparse and lame (a la “Check out my tribal armband that I always keep exposed so people can see how awesome I am”) or are sweeping and worth exhibition. I always think of constantly-exposed tattoos as falling into two groups - the “this was the only place I had left” group and the “this is the message I want everyone to see” group. Nothing wrong with the first group (who am I to criticize what they want to do with their body?) and I appreciate the message from the second… when I can understand it!</p>
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It really, really is. I always hated needles, and it was only after a series of medical procedures started to inure me that I seriously considered getting a tattoo. To my surprise, it was much, much different than I expected. Tattoos hurt (how much depends on the location, design, and artist), but a needle going after a vein can hurt much worse, if not as long.</p>
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<p>Some of that is biology and some of that is culture.</p>
<p>When your child goes to an interview for a professional job, do you advise them to dress professionally? Where I work, if you don’t come in a suit (for guys), you probably won’t get the job. You only have to wear the suit once and then you can wear whatever you want to after that unless you’re going to see customers.</p>
<p>People judge based on height, weight, appearance, etc. For many, their abilities and skills outweigh appearance. But we are in a relatively competitive job environment and anything that you can do to avoid negatives is a plus.</p>
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<p>What BCEagle said. And really, the point at which folks whose appearance is very different from the norm (whatever that is for the job)are eliminated from consideration is probably not based on a judgment about their character. They don’t even get that far.</p>
<p>There is probably some message board rule or convention against quoting yourself, but anyway, from my original post:</p>
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<p>I was wanting, even expecting, D to say something about how terrible I was to assume drug use among that type of guy. But the problem is that she didn’t…she said drug use is not so bad. I guess I wanted her to make the kind of arguments that many of you are making, but she didn’t. That is what is disturbing…that she wouldn’t rule guys out because they are disaffected drug users. (Again, her current crushes are on guys she doesn’t know IRL.)</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.lgbtbar.org/annual/CLE_materials/4B/FreedomofDressStateandPrivateRegulationofClothingHairstyleJewelryandMakeup_000.pdf[/url]”>http://www.lgbtbar.org/annual/CLE_materials/4B/FreedomofDressStateandPrivateRegulationofClothingHairstyleJewelryandMakeup_000.pdf</a></p>
<p>Some young people I know refuse to remove the piercings & cover tattoos for job interviews, usually for academic jobs. I don’t like to speak for their motives, and although my first reaction was they were just being silly, on further reflection it seems very brave to me to refuse to conform to the mainstream when your professional future is on the line. I don’t think this is exhibitionism exactly. I do think it is an insistence society accept them for who they are and usually these young people identify as lgbt. However, some of their friends (who do not identify as lgbt) seem to also prefer to present in this way… maybe as a gesture of support? It is a subject that is just way too complicated for me to understand.</p>