This is not your case at all, but I wanted to comment on it because it was the first time I had experienced the negatives of LORs. In 1992, I was on new, on-staff, at a very large high school in the ‘burbs’.
During the weekly staff meeting, it was announced, by the Principal, that a student’s family was planning on suing the school district, on their son’s behalf, because the family felt that their precious child had received poor LOR’s from our staff and he didn’t receive any offers from the Ivies.
From the viewpoint of the teachers, this kid had always gotten away with “everything” (belittling/bullying others-especially some of the more studious/quiet kids, menacing teachers into changing his grades, etc.) and his parents always condoned these inappropriate behaviors-threatening to sue every teacher, at any time.
Once the Principal announced the lawsuit, people seemingly knew who the kid was, and looked to specific teachers who didn’t appear fazed by it. One of the more outspoken AP math teachers raised his hand and said, “I’m sharing because I am one of the teachers who was asked for a LOR. I have made my statement to our legal staff.” "I stated that the letter said: ‘Johnny attends my class, he takes tests and turns in his homework’. "
Lots of comments, laughs, exclamations followed.
The teacher then explained, “This kid shoved a paper in my face, while I was working with another student, said-“I need you to fill out this letter for my colleges, and it needs to be sent by _____”. So I filled it out and mailed it in myself.”
I later found out that the kid was so sure that he was a shoo-in everywhere, but he didn’t bother to note that the teachers really didn’t like him, nor his family’s litigious threats. He was rude and disrespectful to them, but he expected them all to write glowing letters because he had “good grades”.
Apparently, several teachers were asked, as were his coaches, but they made excuses that they were overwhelmed with requests and couldn’t guarantee that the letters would be completed by the deadline. The kid didn’t “read the room” well. Those 3 teachers/coaches that did write letters wrote the bare minimum: ‘Johnny had 3 excused absences and turned in his assignments by the deadlines and participates in class.’
It went to arbitration. Information had been received that kid’s tutor had written his English papers. The family admitted that they had tutors “help” their son with homework assignments.
Teacher’s are overwhelmed with requests, and there is only so much they can say about you.
If they hesitate to give an immediate, straight answer, then they are overwhelmed or don’t know how or what to say about the student, so they should decline.
The student needs to move to another writer.