<p>Sabaray- I have no answers, but you and your S are in my thoughts and prayers.</p>
<p>Sabaray,</p>
<p>Deepfelt best wishes for your son and your whole family as you address this challenge. Thank you for being so honest here and I am glad that the forum has been of help to you at this time.</p>
<p>It seems to me that you and your son are being brutally honest about the current situation, and IMO that bodes well for a treatment plan. But I understand it is very hard no matter how committed the patient and family may be.</p>
<p>I very much hope that some day in the future you will be sharing news with us of your son’s recovery.</p>
<p>Meanwhile it is a reminder to all of us here that college admissions is not the most important thing in life – or even on the “short list.”</p>
<p>Your family will be getting caring and supportive vibes from many in this community. Stay strong as you embark on this process. Be sure to take care of yourself as well as of your son.</p>
<p>Sabaray - all the best. This has to be one of the hardest things for parents to deal with. No advice here. Please come back here for support if you need any. Yes, try to take care of yourself.</p>
<p>Robin Williams recommends the Hazelden Springbrook treatment centers ( he was treated at the one in Newport Oregon)</p>
<p>My husband went through a day treatment program with our local hospital, that had support for family members as well.
Best wishes for your family.</p>
<p>Sabaray - My heart goes out to you and your family. I am so glad that he has admitted that he needs help. I don’t know of any facilities, but it sounds like you are getting some good help with that. Hang in there!</p>
<p>Sabaray,
I am so thankful he has admitted he needs help and is ready to tackle his drinking. HUGE STEP and takes a lot of guts for a 20 year old to admit that. Has he come home from school? I am so glad he is receptive. Absolutely agree that he needs to get out of the dorm environment where the culture makes drinking so easy and inconsequential.</p>
<p>We are all here for you.</p>
<p>I know about 5 people who went thru the program at Hazeldon and were successful. Some of them have been sober for over 10 years.</p>
<p>I know one person that went thru Cottonwood. The program worked well for her.</p>
<p>I also know a couple of people that went thru the Silver Hill program. </p>
<p>All three of these are good choices. (Also, a short post script–the friends of mine that had the most serious issues and had the success with treatment have very strong AA support and attend meetings frequently. Some of them attend daily meetings.)</p>
<p>Good luck with the decision that you have to make. My thoughts are with you.</p>
<p>The interventionists that we worked with when we confronted a 20 year old member of our extended family recommended Cirque Lodge in Utah. It didn’t work out in our particular case, but it’s probably worth a look, as they work with a lot of young adults. Very expensive, although not as bad as some. The young person in question ended up doing better in a much grittier county-run program. Go figure.</p>
<p>The interventionists weren’t crazy about Betty Ford for this age group - too unhip. You have to dress for dinner. That might appeal to a more conservative kid, however.</p>
<p>Caron in Pennsylvania does a great job with that age group</p>
<p>Excellent. I saw Caron had a young men’s program specifically for this age group- 20 to 25. Family member was treated there recently.</p>
<p>Best of wishes to you.</p>
<p>my thoughts are with you and your son. I hope that he is on board with treatment. My sister’s 17 yr old son went from being a pot head to smoking heroin within one year. He is refusing to get treatment and it is breaking her heart.
I pray that your son will want to accept the help that he needs.</p>
<p>Sabaray
I’m glad to hear that your son is admitting to the problem…that truely makes a huge difference. Best wishes to all.</p>
<p>I asked a family member who is in recovery and lives in an area with a large recovery population.
She has heard great things about Father Ashley Martin. She knows quite a number of people who went there and they have been very successful in staying sober.
She also knows quite a few who have gone to the Caron Foundation.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Did you mean Father Martin’s Ashley? That is a private, free-standing (not on a hospital campus, i.e.) program in Maryland. I think I remember hearing good things about it.</p>
<p>Yes. I realized I mixed up the order of the name.
Another place that a friend speaks highly of is Alina Lodge in New Jersey. She was not sure now many young people are treated there. Her friend whose wife went there is in her 40’s.</p>
<p>Alina Lodge is pretty last ditch and the stay is long and it is REALLY hard, old school AA and I wouldn’t send a kid there until they’d tried something else first as well as AA. Also, the fact that your son himself has admitted defeat is really the main thing. Alina Lodge is for people who are having a really hard time getting sober.</p>
<p>I’d give him something else first. fwiw.</p>
<p>Sabary </p>
<p>What ever your choice of treatment facility I urge you to remember one thing: this is a long road, perhaps longer than you might imagine. I’ve known families who have sent their kids to treatment for drugs/alcohol and expected the kid to be back on track soon after coming back, sober and ready to pick up his/her life where they left off. </p>
<p>It won’t happen. Not even with great trteatment, good intentions and strong sobriety. </p>
<p>I dont report this to scare you, but merely to let you know that this is only a first step–a big and important first step to be sure–but still only a first step in your son’s recovery. Not drinking or using drugs is one thing, but living a centered and resposnsible life is whole other ball of wax, one that many alcoholics/druggies have no idea of how to accomplish anymore. They have to relearn their “life skills” all over again or sometimes even for the first time. </p>
<p>One of my friends with a daughter in this situation actually told me that the first year after treatment was nearly as bad as her former drug use because she was so muddled and lost as she groped her way back to “normal” through continued outpatient care, narcotics anonymous, navigating a new school and work situation, and reestablishing herself among friends and familiy (where she could) after burning numerous bridges. It took years, but she is back in college now and doing fine. </p>
<p>I’ve heard this story more than once. It can have a good ending and I pray that yours does. </p>
<p>Just be prepared for the long haul. Along the way, take care of yourself too, as dealing with any chronically ill child is stressful. You know the drill; eat right, exercise, go to church (temple, mosque, meditation or whatever), take a hard look at your own dinking or smoking if that’s there. You cannot help your boy if you are rundown. You will also need counseling yourself, which will probably come through the treatment center, but which you should find on your own if not. I wish you and your son nothing but the best on the start of a long, difficult, and hopefully successful journey.</p>
<p>BigAppleDaddy,
That was an excellent and thoughtful post. Thank you.</p>