Recruiting engineers for new element discovery

<p>Save that stuff for the movies? How about save this for the movies.</p>

<p>How you will have discovered any new element, with any research grant bigger than any ever spent before to find a new element that can't even be created by the universe's biggest stars with a lifetime in the nanoseconds with no real practical use before you get to grad school just amazes me.</p>

<p>... if this isn't a joke, then we need to gauge your mental state.</p>

<p>Edit: And you seriously need to stop with this "When I discover something I can slap my name on it" because that's not how the scientific community works. Your peers will not acknowledge your asinine audacity.</p>

<p>How did we go from looking for girlfriends to becoming Iron-board to discovering new elements?</p>

<p>Whats next? Discovering the hardest engineering maj- whoops, done that. It's EE.</p>

<p>
[quote]

Edit: And you seriously need to stop with this "When I discover something I can slap my name on it" because that's not how the scientific community works. Your peers will not acknowledge your asinine audacity.

[/quote]

Sry duedd.</p>

<p>


I noticed you have 176 posts.</p>

<p>I have access to a large "series of tubes" with which we may be able to find a new element.</p>

<p>I discovered an element with mass of only 88 grams. Like you, I did not want to be renown for anything less than 120. I immediately destroyed all evidence and dropped out of college. Currently I work as a manager at a local QFC.</p>

<p>WHATT JPL, YOU CRAZY SON OF A---. I was looking for an element that had at least 240 atomic mass units(since the atomic number is 120), but you found an element that has mass of 88 gram?? THAT'S ***ING HEAVY DUDE. Why did you destroy all the evidence though...you coulda been my ticket to a top tier grad school!!</p>

<p>Oh yea, and I'm an exception to the #k poster rule because even though I only have 178 posts at the moment of this post, I know irl I am really smart so yeah.</p>

<p><em>claps</em></p>

<p>I applaud you, sir.</p>

<p>You know it takes about 10 years for an element to go from being "discovered" to being certified right? And also the millions of dollars thing? Plus the other great professors at UCB that are trying to do the same thing?</p>

<p>I hypothesize that Sagert's brain is made of the new element.</p>

<p>@AuburnMathTutor agreed</p>

<p>As post count -> infinity, degree of sarcasm also approaches infinity.</p>

<p>on a serious note, if you actually want to discover new elements, you should get a PhD and go to a. Lawrence Livermore b. Dubna</p>

<p>Actually, my brain is made out of a healthy proportion of the natural elements that compose up one brain. If my brain was created out of the new element, I would probably have been dead already because as you should know, most elements after a certain point(which includes all new elements) are naturally radioactive because of how much neutrons they have stored up...so I would have probably received brain cancer and died.</p>

<p>As post count -> infinity, the degree of intelligence also approaches infinity. Since sarcasm rises at a linear rate while intelligence rises exponentially as post count increases, the degree off intelligence will override that of the degree of sarcasm and make such an attribute negligible.</p>

<p>"Actually, my brain is made out of a healthy proportion of the natural elements that compose up one brain."
- Can you back that up?</p>

<p>"If my brain was created out of the new element, I would probably have been dead already because as you should know, most elements after a certain point(which includes all new elements) are naturally radioactive because of how much neutrons they have stored up...so I would have probably received brain cancer and died."
- Well, it's more complex than that. One video that explains it really well can be found on Youtube... really brilliant guy explaining how the brain works. Let me see if I can find it... (<em>pause</em>) ah yes. YouTube</a> - Johnson on Mind & Brain, Plenary.</p>

<p>"As post count -> infinity, the degree of intelligence also approaches infinity. Since sarcasm rises at a linear rate while intelligence rises exponentially as post count increases, the degree off intelligence will override that of the degree of sarcasm and make such an attribute negligible."
- In general I would agree with this. Anybody can be smart, but it takes hard work to be sarcastic.</p>

<p>Two things about this thread:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Obviously it's a joke. A great one at that, hats off to you Sagert.</p></li>
<li><p>Celeritas, you're an a-hole, gauging from this and other posts.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Not funny. Fail.</p>

<p>Well, it was a nice run guys, but I don't think anyone is interested in helping me in this project. I guess I'll have to settle on winning a nobel peace prize to go to a top tier grad school...</p>

<p>^ I'll write you a letter of recommendation. I'm the king of France.</p>