S just finished his first semester of his freshman year. I am just starting to reflect on the whole college selection process. It was an exciting two year years. He started looking at colleges junior year of hs. Looked at 15 schools including a couple of state schools. In the end he picked a lovely private school in SC. First semester went great. Good new friends, good grades , in short he seems happy with his choice.
Of coarse now and again I can’t help wondering if he would have done just as well at a state school which would have been a lot less expensive and a lot closer to home. It was so easy to get caught up in the excitement of selecting a good school. After all s was a good student, worked hard. We saved over the years for him to be able to do just this.
Only time will tell…but really I don’t know if I will ever know if it would have been just as fine to go to a less expensive state school. I have to believe it will all work out in the end.
Talked to another mom in the gym today who said she had these same musings when she was laying in bed at night.<br>
Oh well. It is what it is.
Thanks for the honesty, as we are facing these decisions right now. D worked so hard and did so well, but the ‘elite’ schools she’s applied to are incredibly expensive, don’t give good merit, and we’ll get no need aid. I’m sure it will all work out for the best.
As someone who has provided advices to various seniors in the past for college admission, your perception of “was this the right school (financially, socially, academically, etc) for my S/D?” is not uncommon. The truth is, there are multiple schools that “fit” single student’s character and desires. I would now move on from wondering about this issue and focus instead on the career options for your S. Yes, it is early that he only finished the first semester of the college, but I have seen too many college students who never think about future until their senior year and realize that there are so many things that they should’ve done. It is, in my opinion, the job of parents to make sure that your child is doing everything that is needed. One such thing is to make sure that he gets to explore his interests widely and builds a long relationship with at least two professors, preferably in different areas.
It would be helpful for folks to know what is so terribly a bad fit that you have to transfer.
I think the money trade off is really hard to sell to the kids. But it is something that needs talking about. If you get no need based aid, I’d require my kid to research and examine some schools that are generous with merit and have at least 2 applications into them. I’ve have the kid do that before selecting the elite reach schools. Parents here have given very savvy advice about building your resume from the bottom up. We didn’t even entertain the uber reachy schools until the state applications were underway and a great private gave EA with need based aid.
I have a friend who’s kid got a merit award from a private that equalized the cost so the school wouldn’t have been more expensive than the state school. She went with the state school instead, probabally a good decision. The private didn’t quite have the reputation of a UC. but if she had a strong preference for a small school, it was a nice option to have.
Grayfalcon89 put his 2 cents in and I have to agree that building relationships and starting research or internships early are advantageous. You can build a very nice resume over the 4 years.
Although my daughter was able to go to an elite school and not have a cost trade off, and she is graduated now so in hindsight it was a fantastic environment for her, something we didn’t know freshman year–I still thought about the other schools and wondered what it would have been like. Hey can someone make a movie and fufill our ‘what if’ fantasy? Maybe the guy who made the movie about the straight A Asian students who had secret lives as gangsters and the parents didn’t know cause all they cared about were the grades–he’d be a good candidate to make my movie.
My friend had twins- boy and girl. The girl had slightly better grades and scores, the boy’s were respectable- all from a rural, not great high school. The girl went to a small, rather good (not great) private college, with financial and merit aid. Had amazing opportunities and experiences. The boy went to a well regarded (but not the best in the system) and smallish NY state school. Had amazing opportunities and experiences. The twins are both hoping to become teachers. The parents had to shell out significantly more for the girl’s education, and in her parents’ estimation it was truly no better. I think there is a lot to be said for good state schools from both a financial and well rounded perspective. But if a student needs access to research opportunities for future plans, then private is most likely the way to go unless the student is a top notch student.
I went to a state U because of the lower price tag. It was awful. Everyone around me was unmotivated, only wanted to party, immature, etc. The only place I could go to get away from them was the library and it was only open until midnight. The school’s funding was low so I was in a quad (one room, 4 beds). The lights were always on because one of my roommates was a night owl and another always had friends over (one friend actually moved in illegally for months).
There was a REASON I didn’t want to go to that school. But I was rather forced to go because of the price tag. (My mom couldn’t help that–I don’t blame her if she couldn’t afford more.) I ended up leaving the school in the middle of my 3rd semester and I’m working very, very hard in a CC trying to transfer back to a 4-year right now.
My point is: you might not see the reasons your child has for choosing whatever school he/she does. But reasons are there. If my mother had let me take out loans to make up the difference of the better school, I would have graduated by now. She wouldn’t have thought it was worth it, either.
Well, you can get into these same situations at private schools. It requires doing your homework about colleges - something that takes time. energy, and probably help from your parents or someone who has been through this before. You can also avoid a lot of these situations at a state school if you search hard enough, IMO.
I know. And I did my research, which led me to reasons why I didn’t want to go to that school. (My mom took out her 401K at the end of the year I was applying, which hiked up our EFC to a point that made me unable to get FA from the schools that fit my needs, which made me apply to the public school last minute.) I’m offering my situation as an example. My post wasn’t private school vs public school-- it was schools that fit the students needs vs. schools that parents think are worth the money. But simply put, if a school doesn’t meet the student’s needs, it’s not worth the money no matter how cheap it is.
