My friend had twins- boy and girl. The girl had slightly better grades and scores, the boy’s were respectable- all from a rural, not great high school. The girl went to a small, rather good (not great) private college, with financial and merit aid. Had amazing opportunities and experiences. The boy went to a well regarded (but not the best in the system) and smallish NY state school. Had amazing opportunities and experiences. The twins are both hoping to become teachers. The parents had to shell out significantly more for the girl’s education, and in her parents’ estimation it was truly no better. I think there is a lot to be said for good state schools from both a financial and well rounded perspective. But if a student needs access to research opportunities for future plans, then private is most likely the way to go unless the student is a top notch student.