Regretting my decision - did I make a mistake?

<p>go to alabama, join the honors program where you WILL meet lots of other smart kids just like you, take advantage of EVERY opportunity that you can, and thank your lucky stars that you and your parents dont have to worry about how to pay for college!
You will be fine and remember- you are in control of the next 4 years. Dont waste one moment thinking about other colleges. The red carpet has been rolled out at your feet at Bama.</p>

<p>If you get accepted at Barnard, I think you should give it serious consideration. A relative of mine went there, and it's nothing like a typical all-women's college. Part of her work study job was even to help the new students move into Columbia. If i recall correctly too, her diploma said she was a graduate of Columbia ;-)</p>

<p>I want to reiterate that you should consider Barnard. Columbia is not just "across the street." There is a lot of integration between the two schools. No offense, but I think you need to look more deeply into this option than you have, and not reject it based on superficial assumptions. Have you been there? Have you been to NYC?</p>

<p>I don't understand your situation. U. of A. and Barnard are worlds apart in many ways. So your parents will only let you go to U. of A. because it is free, or Barnard, because they like it? Would you get any aid or scholarship at Barnard? And surely, if they are willing to pay for Barnard, they would be willing to pay for some other schools. What are they?</p>

<p>Your parents reasoning seems inconsistent. I guess they don't want to pay money for a mediocre private, so insist on either a public or selective private. Is that right?</p>

<p>So what other schools would they pay for?</p>

<p>Many private schools will give merit aid, and many have excellent need-based aid. Has your family really looked at all these options?</p>

<p>Are you a junior?</p>

<p>OP- My D took a full ride to UGA. This time last year UGA was 10 out of 10 on her list, for probably the same reasons you are concerned with about Alabama. Fast forward a year, and it is so obvious that UGA is a perfect fit for her. She lives in the honors dorm and she has a great group of friends.</p>

<p>She had 3 offers of free rides, one to a top 20 LAC. She really didn't enjoy the culture on the campus when she attended for the interview weekend. The campus was remote and she got a strong impression that there was not much else to do but party. At UGA she has choices. She can choose to go to Frat row, downtown to a concert, to a poetry reading or out to dinner with friends.</p>

<p>She also debates and has continued to do so in college, traveling across the states for tournaments. Are you planning on debating? This gives you another great group of peers to hang out with.</p>

<p>Perhaps you could attend an overnight in the honors dorms /admitted students program. The students my D met at her interview weekend at UGA were very impressive and really swayed my D's opinion. You may be pleasantly surprised how many students are just like you!</p>

<p>As the mom of a freshman NMF at UA who is definitely not into the party and/or Greek scene, I can tell you that she is very happy at UA. She lives in the honors dorm and has not once encountered vomit in the hallways. Nor has she encountered partying in the dorm. The only complaint she has had were a few loud video gamers above her, but that has only occurred a couple of times.</p>

<p>The Honors College is top notch and there are many opportunities to meet students of similar academic interests. I second the suggestion to visit the UA forum page. There are many helpful parents and students with similar stats.</p>

<p>Good luck with your decision.</p>

<p>While many schools have closed applications now, many have not. What about applying to other schools and see what happens?</p>

<p>chaosakita: Have you toured the U. of Alabama? It's a beautiful campus. The honors dorms are incredible -- you have your own bedroom and share a bath with another student in a four-bedroom suite. The honors college is excellent, with lots and lots of opportunities. </p>

<p>I say this because my son is a National Merit kid at Alabama. No, it was not his first choice, but after two weeks on campus, he knew that he made the best choice. Not only did he earn the outstanding scholarship package which includes honors housing, but he receives a great education. A double major with four minors, he has an on-campus, paid internship with an organization that he joined as a freshman, has done extensive research with the econ professor of his choice and won a trip to attend any economics conference in the U.S., traveled twice to Costa Rica with a community service project (once as a student in the class, the second time as a student leader), studied in Europe, become president of his fraternity (and traveled all over the country on its dime) and won a national scholarship that will allow him to work as a federal government intern for this summer in American Samoa. </p>

<p>Make an appointment with the staff at Alabama's Honors College. You just may be very pleasantly surprised.</p>

<p>OP: I understand what you're saying, and I was in a similar situation many years ago when confronted with my parents' own obstinancy. My upper-middle income parents refused to fill-out FAFSA, but let me apply to my choice of schools. I was accepted at a stellar top-10 university. When it was time to send deposit, my parents refused, stating "too much money for educating a girl". I was told I must live at home and commute to college. Obediently but devastated, I duly applied (late) in panic to a middling local technical university with a large male commuter population, and commuted to this unacclaimed school with little student life on campus. I've never forgiven my controlling parents for their shortsighted or their mean-spiritedness (because that was what it was), and it certainly limited my career and life choices.</p>

<p>Operative issue was that my wealthy parents could easily afford my first choice, and allowed my sibling to attend it several years later, and to live on its campus. Where you attend does influence your life experiences and your likely socio-economic dynamic as an adult. It often also affects your choice of life partner and personal life trajectory; many people meet their spouse and establish their social circle in college.</p>

<p>The third-tier university I attended definitely had a lowered-expectation level of education and intellectual engagement. Many of my fellow students were disinterested in all liberal arts subjects and socially very conservative. ("I'll let my wife work.") Class issues were surprisingly evident too. My professors often embraced and encouraged me, because I was an interested and academically-motivated student, but that mentoring also caused resentment. It wasn't an enjoyable experience, and that third-tier university degree did limit its graduates career advancement. By my second student internship, I knew I needed an HYP-type graduate degree to "break out of box" - which I did.</p>

<p>Try to discuss this issue with your parents, calmly, but with persistence.</p>

<p>
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Sadly, vomit in the residence halls is not a rare occurrence at any college.

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<p>
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Yeah but I think there would be a different concentration of it between different schools.

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<p>Oh my! I read that wrong at first!!! Ewww.</p>

<p>It's sad when parents can't let kids go, grow, be independent and put such arbitrary restrictions on things so important as college choices. I really feel for those that were put into that position by their parents.</p>

<p>As for the "party" schools--DH attended a school that does NOT have a reputation for being a party school at all. About half-way into his freshman year, the housekeeping staff stopped cleaning the bathroom on his floor because too many boys didn't make it all the way to the toilets and left their remnants from the bars on the floor. DH went around room to room collecting cash to clean the bathrooms (had done that for a summer job, didn't bother him at all). He made enough money that weekend to have spending money for the rest of the year.</p>

<p>
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Besides Alabama and my state flagship, I applied to three other schools: Centre (which only offered me $68k), Hendrix, and Mount Holyoke.

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<p>Which of these qualifies as a "reach" school? (Original post mentioned "reach schools" that the OP didn't think she could get into.) Mount Holyoke? Even if it is a reach for the OP, she says she's not really interested in single-sex, and I would think Mount Holyoke is more segregated than Barnard (based on nothing more than what I've read, so take with a grain of salt). Are there reaches (plural) in the mix?</p>

<p>It sounds to me that the OP's parents are saying something along the lines of, "We'll pay more than it would cost to go to Alabama ONLY if we think a school is so superior academically that the difference in cost seems worth it to us, the investors." I don't think that's outrageously controlling, if they're paying! Whether the OP coulda, shoulda applied to more schools than she did is water under the bridge. People have been pretty convincing on the subject of Barnard offering plenty of opportunities to mingle with boys (having seen for myself how it's situated in relation to Columbia, in the middle of a vibrant New York City neighborhood, I can't imagine the OP not meeting plenty of people of both sexes and everything in between at Barnard). </p>

<p>And, OP, please read menloparkmom's post #21 over and over. Very good advice indeed.</p>

<p>Yes, Mt. Holyoke is in a rural area, as opposed to the metropolitan NYC area for Barnard. It does however participate in the 5 college consortium with Amherst, Hampshire, U MAss Amherst and Smith, so has some opportuity to "mingle with boys".</p>

<p>
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Besides Alabama and my state flagship, I applied to three other schools: Centre (which only offered me $68k), Hendrix, and Mount Holyoke.

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</p>

<p>And (unwillingly) Barnard?</p>

<p>chaosakita, your name is distinctive enough that even my middle-aged brain remembers chatting with you on the "did I err applying to Bowdin because it looks like they've lost Asians?" thread you started and in which you also said you'd applied to Claremont McKenna when someone suggested California schools would have more Asians than a LAC in Maine. <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1278333-how-could-schools-demographics-change-so-rapidly.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1278333-how-could-schools-demographics-change-so-rapidly.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>From a quick confirming glance back at your posting history, in the "is 21 apps too many?" thread, you chimed in, "I applied to over 20 schools too." <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1277852-21-applications-we-crazy-3.html#post13766343%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1277852-21-applications-we-crazy-3.html#post13766343&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>As this thread is little more than a complaint about your parents, it is apropos to point out that we parents aren't as dumb as you think!</p>

<p>Although my gut says you were just playing us, the parent in me wants to give you the benefit of the doubt. So I'll simply say, if you really are a senior applying to colleges and thought by mixing things up, you were protecting your privacy, it is an extremely risky strategy. Presumably, there are bits and pieces of the truth about you in the many posts you've made, from which someone could very well piece together who you really are.</p>

<p>"only offered me $68k"</p>

<p>only $17,000 per year? what pikers :-)</p>

<p>in re: Barnard . . . maybe some talking with students there to see how it "really" works?</p>

<p>
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"only offered me $68k"</p>

<p>only $17,000 per year? what pikers :-)

[/quote]
LOL, kei-olei</p>

<p>And nice post, TXArtemis</p>

<p>
[quote]
As this thread is little more than a complaint about your parents, it is apropos to point out that we parents aren't as dumb as you think!</p>

<p>Although my gut says you were just playing us, the parent in me wants to give you the benefit of the doubt. So I'll simply say, if you really are a senior applying to colleges and thought by mixing things up, you were protecting your privacy, it is an extremely risky strategy. Presumably, there are bits and pieces of the truth about you in the many posts you've made, from which someone could very well piece together who you really are.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Do you seriously think I'm trolling? Everything I posted is true. For instance, I did apply to 21 colleges, and both Bowdoin and CMC were among them. Do you need me to post a screencap of my Common App to prove this? How about sending you my Bowdoin and CMC essays? </p>

<p>Or maybe you're concerned about my privacy? That's my business. Personally, I'm not paranoid about being found out for who I am. There is very little people can do to me even with my name and address over the internet, and believe me, I've wished it was otherwise.</p>

<p>
[quote]
"only offered me $68k"</p>

<p>only $17,000 per year? what pikers :-)

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<p>I'm not complaining about the amount of money; I'm just comparing it to Alabama's $100k scholarship.</p>

<p>Since you have only heard from a few colleges you have plenty of time to do more research between now and May 1. Just think of Alabama as your uber safety-financially and admissions wise. But dont expect other colleges which do not offer megga scholarships based on NMF scores to be able to meet Alabama's offer.</p>

<p>Did you apply to any small LACs that were not "top" schools, that you still stand a chance of getting a good bit of money from? And you might get into one of your reach schools, so perhaps right now you're just panicking and may get into a school your parents will pay fully for anyways.</p>

<p>Have you considered faxing a copy of your first semester grades (if they are very good), a copy of Alabama's offer, and a letter explaining how much you want to go to those schools offering you less merit aid and asking them to match the offer? Or calling? I suspect this sort of negotiation happens all the time, and they might be willing to up the ante to get a top student. Don't mention that your parents will only pay for the "better" schools, that would be insulting.</p>

<p>"I suspect this sort of negotiation happens all the time, and they might be willing to up the ante to get a top student"</p>

<p>We tried that when DS was accepted to USC with a full tuition scholarship. They might up the ante a bit but it will not come close to Alabamas offer. Trust me.</p>