<p>I am starting to get a different impression than I first had about how close to the end this woman is. If she is indeed nearing death, I recommend getting lots of input about inserting a feeding tube.</p>
<p>I have a relative who had a feeding tube inserted when she was terminal. The internist recommended it, the hospice nurses opposed it, and the family had no idea what to do. Turns out the patient lived only 2 or three weeks after the tube was inserted. However, the surgery almost killed her and her “quality of life” was damaged, not enhanced, by the tube.</p>
<p>BTW, the relative I am talking about had a G-tube (through a surgical hole in the abdomen), as opposed to an NG tube (passed down through the nose).</p>
<p>Everyone we have talked to is unanimous that a G-Tube will NOT be a good thing and we are getting more info by the minute. We leave tomorrow morning. We had no idea that things were as dire as they are now appearing. One oncologist wanted more chemo and the other said this is the end. It appears that the latter is more accurate, unfortunately. She’s way too weak for chemo and she’s very tired.</p>
<p>Thanks–currently scrambling around to be sure we can get a trust in place to avoid probate, as probate fees in CA are quite high. I hope we will have some quality time together and not have to be so concerned/worried about all of these loose ends. <sigh></sigh></p>
<p>Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. We had a very, very good visit. My kids, H, niece & BIL. SIL rallied to be present with us while we spent time with her and tied up loose ends. My SIL died peacefully in her sleep, just as our plane touched down bringing us back home. She was attended by loved ones.</p>
<p>Everyone was glad we were able to spend some time with all of us together. My SIL was very peaceful and happy to have everyone near & dear gathered round. We are taking our time setting up the memorial services so everyone can spend time with loved ones and visiting in connection with the services in SF & HNL. SIL would have liked that as well–she was always very practical & family was very important to her and all of us. :)</p>
<p>Condolences on your loss. You give us all an important reminder of how important those opportunities to be together are. So glad you had the chance to visit her as a family.</p>
<p>The last six months, we spent a lot more time with her & SF relatives than usual, especially because she was having health challenges. We went to spend Thanksgiving with them, as well as a visit in February and then this most recent visit in March. </p>
<p>Life is indeed precious and we do need to enjoy the time we all share together whenever we can manage it. We are fortunate that we CAN spend time together at least several times/year.</p>