<p>The day of Nixon’s funeral, S was 4 years old. I hung out the flag because I felt it was a sign of respect for the office of President (not that I was a Nixon fan). I was driving S to preschool, and as we pulled out of the driveway S asked me why the flag was out. I told him that a former president had died. “President Clinton died???” he asked. “No,” I reassured him, “He’s fine. The man who was president when mommy was a little girl died.” </p>
<p>A pause. “Oh,” S said, sounding relieved. “You must mean George Washington.”</p>
<p>When D was 4, her great-grandmother came to visit us. She was wearing a mink coat, and D was mighty impressed with it. Eventually great-grandma said to her, “When you grow up and go to college, maybe I’ll let you have this coat.”</p>
<p>When our daughter was itty bitty, she must have decided that there should be a singular form of the word “clothes”, because she would say “should I wear this clo or this clo?”</p>
<p>Years later, when she was in the 5th grade and Viagra commercials had just started appearing on TV, I guess she assumed they were some kind of energy pill. She said, “I’m feeling kind of tired, maybe I need one of those Viagras.”</p>
<p>These are just so entertaining. Thanks for sharing everyone.</p>
<p>I’ve thought of a couple more:</p>
<p>DD was very young–under two 'cause her brother hadn’t been born–and I was pushing her on a swing at the park. She got very agitated and started exclaiming “Sissaboo! Sissaboo!” over and over. She was very upset that I wasn’t understanding–to the point that she cried, even. Eventually she got her point across; she wanted to sit facing the opposite direction. We still say sissaboo instead of “the other way” every now and then.</p>
<p>Then there was the time that we had a business associate of my husband’s over for dinner–a childless single male–and we were all seated at the table except DS who was to my left in a high chair. Our guest was across from me. I served DS a dinner roll and proceeded to serve everyone else when DS beat me to it and tossed his roll across the table, landing a direct hit on our guest’s plate! Thankfully, he had a great sense of humor and it just lightened the mood.</p>
<p>After a few hours at the public pool, it was time to leave; my D started saying “I want to sleep here! I want to sleep here!” Puzzled at first, we realized she was referring to all the people who were ‘laying out’.</p>
<p>When my son was about 7 or 8, he walked into the room where I was playing on the computer; he had a board game under his arm and asked me to play with him. I told him I was busy (the computer was addicting even back then!!). Son sat on the floor, set up the game and proceeded to quietly play both sides of the game by himself. I started feeling very guilty for not playing with him, and finally told him so. He replied: <em>You</em> feel guilty!? I’m <em>cheating</em>!</p>
<p>When my son (who’s currently a junior in college) was 3 he said, “Mommy, how do people without children know when it’s time to wake up?” Priceless. You can tell what our life was like then. Funny how this is the same kid who know goes to sleep at 3 am and wakes up in the afternoon!</p>
<p>When son was 3 we were driving back to our hotel in Orange County CA along a broad boulevard. Son had fallen asleep in the restaurant and was in his carseat in the backseat when all of a sudden we heard him say “I think I want to buy a car”. Huh? There were car dealerships along that road but this was out of the blue. His preword vocalizations in his high chair had included a “bickety-bick” phrase, I never had any clues as to what he may have meant.</p>
<p>My DS used to call trucks “frucks”, when he was a toddler in his car seat. Sometimes he would leave out the “r”. "Mommy, I see a big … " (It really was funny!)
DD at age 2 1/2, heard the bus coming up the road and said, “(her name) ride the bus. (her name) ride the bus naked?” She KNEW she was making a joke, and that people don’t do that kind of thing. We were getting on a plane, and she was about 2 1/2, and the stewardess was standing by the door greeting people and Dd said, “Hey Lady, hey Lady, give me some peanuts.” (she’s shy… ha) When she was about 4, her preschool group was sharing why they were each special, and she said that she is special because she rode to school in a HONDA!</p>
<p>I hope no one knows who I am or who D1 is, so here goes…</p>
<p>D1 was potty trained around 15 months. I read it some where that it was important to teach them how to refer to #1 or #2, so we called them pee pee and poo poo. Every time before she had to go, I would ask her what was it she needed to do, sometimes she got it right and sometimes she didn’t. </p>
<p>One day we went to a restaurant in NYC and she looked like she needed to go. I picked her up quickly to go to the bathroom. There were few people in there already, all of sudden a person in a stall made the loudest noise. We all put our head down to pretend we didn’t hear it, and tried our hardest not to laugh. D1 looked at me and said very loudly, “Mommy, poopoo?” I was afraid to say anything at first, but she wouldn’t stop until I told her that she was right. Luckily we got into a stall before that lady came out.</p>
<p>Not my kid, but funny
I was sitting in the row behind a mother and 2 kids flying to Seattle. As we started to descend, the 3 or 4 year old brother started to complain that his sister (in the window seat) was blocking his view. “She can see Attle, I want to see Attle ! I can’t see Attle - Mom, you said we were going to see Attle and I can’t see it!!!”
Then finally sister moved back enough so he could see the rapidly approaching hills. Boy looks out at fir-covered landscape and announces “Mom, they all have Christmas trees already!”</p>
<p>S was about two and in his carseat in the back of the car with my oldest (as in longest known, not most ancient) friend, someone I grew up with; this friend’s mother, who was over 70 at the time, was in the front passenger seat. Kid was quiet; what he was musing about became obvious when he said aloud, to no one, “All girls have vaginas.” Conversation in the front seat came to a complete stop when again from the back seat came, “All girls have vaginas.” From the other side of the back seat, my friend asked, “Did he just say what I …” “Yes,” I said, and then as my face colored, “That’s right, Spawn, all girls have vaginas.” His reply (you know what it is already, don’t you?) was, “And all boys have *****es.”</p>
<p>And so the conversation went for several iterations.</p>
<p>My niece was very succinct. When she wanted to do #1, she’d tell my brother: “papa, pipi, po-po.” (Daddy, pee-pee in the pot).
When he was 4, S1 fell in love with a gorgeous blonde in daycare. He came home one day and said to us: “Mummy and daddy, K and I have decided to get married. We’ll have a big ball and if you and Daddy are still alive then, we’ll invite you to the ball.” He’s now in his late 20s–and no GF, let alone a wedding ball on the horizon!
We took S1 who loved Mozart at age 3 to see Amadeus. There is a scene from Don Giovanni of the dead Commendatore in a great black cape appearing while Don Giovanni is at his solitary banquet to drag Don Giovanni to hell. S1 said: “Look! Don Giovanni has been naughty and Superman has come to scold him!”</p>
<p>I remember going through a restaurant with mathson when he was about two. Our table was near the back. At every table on the way, he pointed at the candle and told the people sitting there “Hot!” Luckily they all seemed to think it was pretty cute.</p>
<p>S2 we pass the local firestation. He says “Look, mama! The hoo house!” I say helpfully, “that’s called a fire house”. He retorted “I call it a hoo house.”</p>
<p>Well, S is a college jr. but I want to share anyway…
After an hour+ of absolutely over-the-top fireworks on a beautiful July 4, my DS age 2 or 3, turned to his grandfather and said, “Well, so far, so good.”
PS - These are sooo cute, please keep’em comin’.</p>