@Marian, I TOTALLY agree with you. My guys got to college and called BS on the “diversity” their schools so proudly proclaimed, too.
S1 and S2 both reported that they had to teach friends how to ride mass transit in the first couple weeks of college. Their friends were either terrified they’d be robbed or it was not an option in the paces from which they came. We turned them loose on Metro as solo riders when they were 14, though they had traveled with us on it since their first protest march (ages 17 mo and six weeks).
Mom dropped me off at college, helped bring stuff upstairs, handed me $50 and said “you’re on your own.” And that was it for financial support. From day one it was about economic survival, not academic success. Had a job within 24 hours and sweet-talked the bursar into letting me take my $1500 scholarship over two quarters instead of three, because otherwise I didn’t have enough money to pay for tuition, books and R&B. That was back in the day where it was possible to go independent for FA purposes (though it didn’t kick in til junior year), and 20 hrs/week at minimum wage plus Pell were enough to get through a flagship. There was little support for self-supporting or $0 EFC students.
@momocarly Haha I was in my house over the summer so my parents also won’t get to do the first day drop off either. They do cruise family and moms day events we have.
Not about drop-off but about first days.
Soon after starting, a nice kid asked D1 on a date, but had next to no money. Seriously poor and from the opposite coast, so very on his own. He got a movie from the library, made popcorn, had drinks of some sort, and they watched on the tv in a common room. She thought it was utterly charming and they remained fast friends through college.
Some of my kids’ college memories that make me smile—S started a rock climbing club in college. He found out they are paying fees every term for student activities and clubs could apply for funding. They applied and consistently received funding.
D decided to try fencing one term and found it interesting but exhausting. They had to use the gym after all the other sports so it was always very late at night. She then decided to take polo. She notified us that it is very tough to ride a horse and hold a polo stick! (She had practically no prior experience on any horses.)
S1 was due to go on his Outward Bound-type bonding experience at his school a few days before anyone else among his HS friends was due to leave for college. He was super-cranky about being the first one to leave among his friends and chose to stay out most of the night before we left. I had told him that I was not packing for this adventure; it was all up to him.
In the car driving to school (75 mins away), he either slept or was totally cranky. Once we got up there, we opened the trunk and he asked me, “Where’s my sleeping bag?” I reminded him that he had been responsible for packing that, and he freaked out. Of course the school had extras; it wasn’t a problem.
He didn’t want to line up to get a sandwich and a drink for the bus ride to their camping area. So I lined up, got it for him, and forced him to take it.
Four days later, we drove up again with all of his stuff for move-in. I was nervous about what his mood would be and expected him to still be cranky. Instead, when we arrived, he greated us with a huge smile and said, “It was great!”
Barely remember my college move-in in 1980. My older sister went to the same school. We had 2 other sibs at 2 other colleges already, so our parents weren’t new to this. I can’t remember who drove us there–our mom or both parents. Sis and I each took only a couple boxes/suitcases. No drama. Basically dumped the stuff in my room and then they left. No tears, no photos, no lunch/dinner with parent. My roommate (blind match–we only could specify “smoking” or “non-smoking”) had already been there a week for sorority rush. I was there when the rush guide brought her no invitations after only 2 rounds. Roomie was not too upset, fortunately. At the end of the year we were voted the “Odd Couple” in our hallway. In spite of being very different (partier vs bookworm), we got along pretty well and both worked in the dining hall.
So far 5 of our kids have gone to college and I managed to not go to any move-ins but the 5th one. (Same year/school as momocarly!) D moved in on Friday. All went smoothly with just the two of us–until I burned the popcorn in her microwave! (Fortunately we did get to view the eclipse with D that Monday as most of her 1st-day-of-college classes were cancelled.)
Somewhere in CC archives I described our oldest son’s departure in 2006. H dropped him at the airport curb. S took only a carryon and his laptop and camera. (I had shipped bedding/winter clothes.) S didn’t have a cellphone and he never called or emailed to let us know that he’d arrived. Since S’s parting words to me in our garage were, “I don’t wanna go to college!” I started to wonder if he’d actually made it there. After a few days I contacted the school to confirm that he’d arrived. (He had. Also I remember his college evacuated briefly due to wildfires the first weekend S was there.) S’s brother started moving into his bedroom the minute he left. And I cried–not because I missed S#1, but because I was so angry about the mess he’d left in his room–which he’d promised to clean up! While I was cleaning, I found S’s tattered old Velveteen Rabbit under his bed. Then I cried again.