<p>Would it help if I ask A if I can help out in any way? Like doing free contract work for them to help them fill the gap? That way I can ameliorate the certain animosity that will arise when I deliver the news next week?</p>
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If they want to know, they can always ask. There’s no reason to volunteer the information in the letter declining the position.</p>
<p>OP, I think it’s best to keep it to a simple apology. Even if they accepted your kind offer, imagine how uncomfortable it would be for both sides. This is really a much smaller matter to Company A than it is to you. They won’t simmer over this or besmirch your reputation across the industry. Most like they’ll call you a few choice names and then hire your replacement and forget you ever existed.</p>
<p>You are assuming there will be animosity. Focus on the summer internship you selected. Apologize, gravel a bit if need be, state your position, and stop feeling guilty. Life will throw enough curves at you. I commend you for being a serious, ethical, responsible, person. If you work for A, even as complimentary, you will keep questioning yourself and feeling this guilt. Perhaps this will help you…do you know any of the former students who turned down A? Does the Career Center know? If so, and you feel it wise, ask how the news was taken. This will help you know what to expect so that you can plan accordingly. </p>
<p>Try to have a nice weekend.</p>
<p>Although it isn’t analogous to OP’s situation, some of the investment banks are known to make what is commonly referred to as “exploding offers”. In effect, they give the student an ultimatum, providing him/ her with a deadline usually not more than a day or two. Another tactic is asking the student if he/she would accept if an offer was made. The problem is that many students are interviewing with multiple firms, and it is difficult to answer these questions definitively. To say “maybe” to an investment bank when asked if you would accept an offer from the company is tantamount to precluding any chance of receiving an offer from them. This issue of how honest you need to be with these firms is not as black and white as some would have you believe. It is a difficult issue and there is no one right way to handle it.</p>
<p>I think that Company A needs to be told asap, even if no formal paperwork has been done by Company B. I have been on board with the choice (with some caveats) but don’t understand why the career office is counseling waiting to tell A.</p>
<p>If IBs recruit on campus (target schools), they must follow those schools’ rules. They need to give applicants sufficient time to interview with all IBs that recruit on campus, and those IBs are not allowed to invite applicants off campus for interviews (or wine and dine) until campus interviews are over. Deadline for accepted students to reply is the same for every firm. Career center has such agreement with every firm which recruits on campus to protect its students. Those firms are not allowed to pressure students.</p>
<p>Hi oldfort - In theory what you are saying is true, but I observed it through my kid and, in practice, it can be somewhat more complicated than what you said. For example, there is nothing that prevents any of the banks from asking an applicant if they would be inclined to accept if they made an offer. It seemed to me that most of these banks did not want their offers to be turned down and tried not get themselves in a position where that occurred. These kids are put into very difficult positions and sometimes it is not obvious on how to respond. There was one investment bank who gave my kid 24 hours to respond and maybe he could have reported this to the career office, but he didn’t want to harm his relationship with them. Just because there are supposedly rules, it doesn’t mean that everyone operates between the lines or always adheres to the spirit of the rules.</p>
<p>P.S. I don’t think any kid is going to tell bank A - I will let you know my answer after I hear from bank B. As I said before, the situation can be complicated, particularly for 20 year old kids.</p>
<p>One more thing: Generally speaking in order to obtain an internship with a prestigious investment bank, considering how competitive it can be, you need to tell them how much you would like to work at that particular bank. Is this always 100% truthful - maybe not if there are other firms you are also interviewing with. If you are fortunate to receive multiple offers, trust me it can become very complicated. Maybe why you don’t hear about this more often is because most kids don’t receive multiple offers. It is enviable position to be in, but not always so easy to deal with. The theory of how it is suppose to work and what actually happens can be quite different.</p>
<p>parent57 - I am sorry your kid had to go through that, maybe he should have reported it . My daughter went through the whole IB recruiting process at her school. She ended up having multiple offers, and no one put undue pressure on her. Every bank that made an offer to her did make sure someone was talking to her and emailing her every few days. One bank invited all applicants to NYC(wine and dine) before they were allowed off campus. The career center reprimanded the bank, and my daughter got a warning about possible violation of their rule. The bank ended up cancelling the event. They were all given until Mar 1 to make their decisions. All of D1’s friends had similar experience at her school.</p>
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<p>Of the people I know who turned down A, when they saw A again, A tried to offer them another internship but they always turned down, and A is still active on the campus recruiting scene. </p>
<p>However, I don’t think I know anyone who has ever reneged on A before, so I’m a bit worried to find out what will happen when I deliver the bad news after the weekend is over. (especially when it’s so late in the process) </p>
<p>I am still losing sleep over this issue, even though what’s done has been done.</p>
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<p>They don’t see a verbal offer as an official offer. They want me to have at least an e-mail with the offer in it for me to accept, just in case. It also gives me more time think about how I will deliver the news to A. I know I’ll call them and write them a letter but I don’t know exactly which words I’ll use. I’m trying to be as careful as I can with A, but I know I can’t take too much time.</p>
<p>"Dear (insert name of person who made you the offer):</p>
<p>After much consideration, I have decided against taking an internship with Company A this summer. Although the opportunity is very attractive, I believe it is not an appropriate option for me at this time. I apologize for the inconvenience this decision will cause, but I know there is no shortage of candidates eager to work at a company which [insert flattering words about the company]. </p>
<p>I am very appreciative of the time, consideration and professionalism you and [insert name of others who interviewed you, if any] put into this process. Please accept my best wishes for a fruitful and enjoyable summer.</p>
<p>Sincerely yours,
Reneging Intern"</p>
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I’d leave this sentence out since it’s a judgment call that the OP isn’t certain of (even though it’s likely true unless there’s really something wrong with this company) and that company A might not agree with - it’s not really needed anyway. But the rest of your example shows how concise and to the point and upbeat the response can be.</p>
<p>Again, I have a problem with the ethics of waiting any amount of time at all to tell A. I don’t think it matters whether you have a formal written offer yet from B. You owe A the earliest notice possible.</p>
<p>Better to end up with nothing (which you probably won’t) than keep A waiting and giving them less time to fill the spot. It’s a gamble you can choose to take, with very good odds.</p>
<p>If you cannot tell A asap, then I think you should stick with A and do B some other year. It’s not fair to let A know w/so little time left before the internship starts. If you tell them Monday, it gives them two weeks, but if you wait, it will be one week. Not fair to them.</p>
<p>You are making decisions for yourself that benefit you, and you feel badly about reneging. I would think you would also feel badly about reneging so late, which is remediable by calling A on Monday.</p>
<p>And don’t mention helping them out. That will only make things more complicated. It is a way of calming your conscience but won’t work out practically anyway.</p>
<p>I am with compmom.</p>
<p>Ditto with the above two - as long as you know you’re going to do this then give ‘A’ as early notice as possible to not handicap them further in getting another intern if they decide to do that.</p>
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<p>Thanks for the feedback. I have a better idea of what to say to A. I will try to call them early in the morning on Monday (well, not too early, because they are one hour away in time zone difference). I will follow it up with an e-mail and a letter. Though I echo my career office’s concern about B, because B has yet to provide a hard copy - even a soft copy - of their offer. </p>
<p>Or is e-mail sufficient? I feel better if I mailed a letter to them. Seems more professional than an e-mail.</p>
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<p>This is the most I can do for A, I guess. I still feel terrible for leaving them.</p>
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<p>In my letter, I told them that I received another internship that provides better opportunity for advancement, because it is longer in length, which would mean that I would be able to learn more from more experiences, and that the work is in a high-tech industry, which is closer to my core interests. My career office thought that it would be best if I told them why I was leaving their office, though without mentioning where I’m headed to. My career office has read my first draft of the letter, but they want me to write a longer letter (it’s about a paragraph and a half, similar in length to above) to show that I put considerable time and thought into the decision.</p>
<p>Lastly, I’d again like to thank all of you awesome parents for providing advice and feedback on this situation! I really, really appreciate it! Without it, I’d be more clueless and unable to act. (though on some level, I’m a bit worried too in case the employers involved are reading this thread)</p>
<p>Next time, don’t take the early offer - - no matter how good it it. Of course, that means assuming the risk that you’ll end up with nothing.<br>
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This is easier said than done. While I had A’s offer from the beginning, when they gave me the offer, I was going through an interview process with another company C. After C rejected me, I asked the Career Office whether I should take A yet, because I knew that there would be many other companies that interview in the Winter semester. They advised me to accept it, because chances were that I wouldn’t get another offer as a sophomore. </p>
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<p>This exchange explains why you accepted offer A, but not why you feel you feel free to walk away from your agreement. And for me, “I got a better offer” isn’t a good enugh reason to break your word. You would certainly feel that company A was unethical if, after you accepted the offer and took yourself off the market, A reduced your salary by 20%.</p>
<p>I am also troubled by the fact that you may continue to string-along A (“I’ll TRY to call . . . . Though I echo my career office’s concern about B, because B has yet to provide a hard copy - even a soft copy - of their offer.”).</p>
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<p>This is not the reason why I broke my word. The internship with B is in SV/high-tech - closer to my interests than A is, and the internship with B is 12 weeks long, which means that I spend more time with the company, having a longer duration of exposure to their work, meaning that I should be able to learn a bit more than I would with A, which is 9 weeks long. The learning experience is the part that is worth the most to me.</p>
<p>Additionally, when my boss asked me about my skills and experiences and my interests last week, he also welcomed any questions that I had about work. I answered his questions and asked him about work at the company - what would I be doing outside of my project? his expectations for the project etc? He deflected the questions and only supplied the languages they would be using (a simple one-line or two-line response). This makes me wary of A, because they haven’t gone in depth about what they do or will have me do.</p>
<p>ab2013 - you have made your decision, and it appears your career center is working with you to make sure you are doing it professionally. I think it is best to just move forward and not look back. You are not going to get everyone to agree with your decision. Don’t sweat over it any more. Have a great summer.</p>
<p>I haven’t posted on this thread, but I’ve followed it with interest. Shortly before my sophomore D entered finals, she called and told me she hadn’t landed an internship, so she was going to come home and just chill. I agreed that was a fine idea; she had had a campus job for 2 years (even tho she was on a full ride there) and I thought she deserved the break. But then she received an ‘auto-email’ from an employer in our town indicating that there was an unexpected opening (due to a reneging intern). She responded, got the intership, and the rest is history! So I’m thinking you’re doing someone else a big favor! You’ve learned that these decisions are not black and white, but I can see your heart is in the right place; don’t feel guilty. Good luck, OP!</p>