Report names 12 at Choate Rosemary Hall who allegedly abused students

Prep School Admissions
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FWIW, I did consider the Labrie SPS scandal when deciding between SPS and MX and we still chose SPS. My hope is that the school and administration has implemented additional safeguards.

Although I have spoken to my son about it, I don’t think he really understands the issues other than on a very superficial level. I also mentioned the Choate report to him but, again, he doesn’t really “get it” yet. He is relatively naive at this point so this will be an ongoing discussion.

@libaya - I had read that prior to our decision but thank you!

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I applaud Choate for its transparency. They are being quite forthcoming. I just wonder about the timing of the report right after A10…

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Not being shocked is different than condoning. It may be more prevalent at boarding schools because students live there with faculty, but I believe this has been going on since the dawn of time on a wider basis. With the internet and social media, we just hear about it more. We no longer get news from our local papers, but worldwide news from around the globe almost instantly. Smartphones have only been around for a decade, most HS students having their own $600 smartphones for less, and the most widely used social network apps for even less. We hear about what happens in some small, rural town in the Midwest when we never would have heard about it a few years ago.

I remember an art class in junior high where the attractive, miniskirt wearing teacher sent me to get some construction paper behind some shelves out of sight of the class. Suddenly, she showed up behind me, running her fingers through my hair telling me I was cute. Being 13, I didn’t know what to do. I knew it felt weird and wrong, but I never told anyone. I was too embarrassed.

In HS, a teacher asked me to stay after class and then disclosed to me he was having an affair with a fellow student and wanted me to keep my ears open for any gossip about it. I don’t know why he confided in me except that I had a reputation for knowing everyone, so I guess he thought if anyone would hear anything, I would. I’m sure I’d make a different decision NOW, but as a naïve 16 year old HS kid who didn’t know or understand at the time how serious something like that was, I thought it wasn’t any of my business as long as he was single, she was consenting and they were both happy, so I never mentioned it to anyone. Honestly, I never saw them interact once (even talking) and wondered it was even true.

There was another young, attractive, miniskirt wearing teacher I had in HS and if I’d see her in the classroom after I’d finished my sports practice after school, I’d sometimes go in and visit. In retrospect, she said and did a lot of flirty things I didn’t think much about at the time – until a graduation house party where I saw her kissing one of my classmates on the side of the house. He eventually moved in with her and they were together for quite a while from what I heard.

So when I see things in the news almost every week now, often about some female teacher sleeping with male students, it doesn’t shock me. Do I condone it? No, but it doesn’t surprise me. IMO from my own experiences, the best practice is to assume it goes on EVERYWHERE and talk to your kids about it.

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I have no horse in this race, but I do not think that there is anything nefarious in the timing, so would read nothing into it.

While not a pleasant situation, I applaud Choate’s response. The reality for students and parents who made acceptances is that this situation is not unique to Choate. It has happened at many top schools, including the one I attended. As mentioned upthread, one should, IMO, focus on how well (or poorly) a school responds and what policies are in place to protect current/future students.

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I’m disappointed, but as you state @ChoatieMom no BS is immune to a history of sexual abuse scandals. Even as recent as the two thousand fourteens to sixteens, both SPS and Exeter have been identified with sex abuse scandals.

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"Choate Rosemary Hall, an elite boarding school in Wallingford, Conn., acknowledged decades of sexual abuse by former teachers against the students entrusted to their care in a report on Thursday.

The report, written for the board of trustees by an investigator at the law firm Covington & Burling LLP, documented the actions of at least 12 former faculty members, beginning in the 1960s and into the 2010s. The claims of abuse include instances of “intimate kissing,” “sexual intercourse” and “forced or coerced intercourse.”

https://nyti.ms/2osfvm2

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This is not about any particular school, but I would ask hard questions if incidents like these happened and were reported to the school authority in say 1990s and onward and they were still dealt with “quietly”. Does pedophilia ring a bell to administrators of institutions that work with minors on a daily basis? Why were clearly potential criminal acts not reported to law enforcement for investigation? Do/should the educators know better what impact these incidents could have to the victims for the rest of their lives, and child molesters don’t molest once or a few times and stop?

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@ChoatieMom - I agree that we live in a terrible world where this horrible stuff is no longer shocking. But do you think that Choate should be commended for its transparency here, or should they be called upon to clarify why they failed to notify the community and other schools?

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I commend the school for its transparency.

I am sure they will be called to clarify further.

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Two of the former faculty named in the report are/were married to the same woman, also a former teacher at the school. I mentioned in another thread that (in a sense) a boarding school is not a community but instead made up of communities. One of those communities is the faculty. In such an environment, when marriages/relationships end, the reason is often known or at least suspected. The no-man’s land between what is certain and what conjecture makes such a community very uncomfortable. Choate was in the position that too much was certain, corroborated, exposed so they took action and named the names for all to see. That is def a plus for them and for the faculty community. Exposure to this information should make it easier for the faculty to act on any improper behavior in the future. This report is more evidence that it is not always the creepy weird adults perving on the kids–sometimes it’s the rock stars.

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Somehow, today, I feel that my user name is eerily apropos.

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And I feel my name is making me a target. :wink:

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I completely agree that this is a terrible situation; but as terrible as it sounds, I’m not totally shocked. This is not remotely uncommon in the history of the bs world, and it’s only a matter of time before it happens again, sadly. I commend Choate for conducting the investigation and hiring the law firm, although it is atrocious that it seems that the administration tried to cover up these incidents in the past. This does not mean that Choate has some type of "rape culture’ or anything of the sort, but it does mean that there is a need for awareness and transparency. Let this remind us that there is no such thing as flawlesness, especially in the bs world.

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Hi. Choate Director of Admissions called me, we just got off the phone. We discussed timing of release of report, content of report, independent investigative group, administration accountability, current faculty, current rules and policies, current laws, process of reporting for students, processing for termination of faculty/staff, workshops/continuing education for faculty and staff understanding even a consensual relationship is not consensual due to power dynamic, Choate brand and institution. 23 minutes.

FWIW, I feel better than ok with answers he could give me. I think there were a few questions where he didn’t have definitive answers and he acknowledged that but that he wanted to convey the spirit of how Choate is handling this situation.

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Big money & big endowments are involved with some of these schools. This cover up fall-out went on for a long while at our school-- and it’s not as extensive as the reports by Choate. @ChoatieMom - you can PM me…We tried to be mindful of our conversations around our house & around students. The bad vibe about the secrecy and not informing the community really got everyone upset- there are different boundary issues in the reports and then there is the secrecy issue. The negative media attention overshadowed graduation and then took out some faculty with it. The students have worked so hard & this should be a joyous time of year -especially for the Seniors. More may come out in the news & more people may step forward from the alumni community after this initial revelation or media coverage. We tried to emphasize pride for our students & community building after going through a smaller situation. For us, thinking about the students’ needs at this time was our guidepost.

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DA mom just texted me that DA students are talking about it. Yes, I feel bad for current Choate students, especially seniors. @Golfgr8

I feel bad for all of us!! People will question our decision to send kids to BS. But these things (not the rapes), have happened in public and private schools!

I never thought and still dont think the timing was nefarious or that there was secrecy. I understand the obligation of the school to it’s board and that the investigation was conducted by an independent third party. What is reassuring is that Choate’s current policy understands that their responsibilities to kids extend almost everywhere in the students’ lives-- weekends, abroad, social media, etc. It sounds as if current policies and rules follow that spirit. I asked specifically if besides informed consent education, what they are going to do to educate the kids about these kinds of relationships that abuse power or trust in the student-teacher relationship. I think that was the question where the answer wasn’t satisfactory.

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I bet 75% of public and private high schools have dealt with this issue in the last 10 years. It happens everywhere, and many parties can share the blame. In our town the kid’s parents knew and approved of a homosexual relationship between a student and a public school teacher. In another case a high school girl deliberately tried to bed as many coaches as possible (her words). And in another case a male teacher took advantage of a naive girl. All in one town in ten years. So it would behoove all of us to discuss boundaries with our kids early and often.

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@libaya --did you call him, or did he call you proactively? Just curious.

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@libaya: “informed consent”? I’m not informed of CT laws. Can kids under 18 give consent to adults for sexual activities under the law?

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@itcannotbetrue I think he called. I was just driving home from the bus stop when our AO called my mom. It was brief, but it seemed that things were under control, and you could tell that he was sincere.