<p>My parents see our kids far more than DH’s parents do. My parents make the effort to go to their concerts, sporting events, just come for visits, etc. DH’s parents do not. It’ really about what you put into the relationship. My parents are 8 hours away, DH’s are 30 minutes away. I don’t know that location matters as much. In your case I would maybe look for an area you want to be in that is less expensive and then just plan to fly to visit the kids often. School schedules are out far enough in advance that you can plan to see their school programs, sporting events, etc. that you can book flights as needed. Worst case, say you are in DC or similar, you drive up in an emergency. To me, 3 hours is 8 hours and honestly, you can get their faster by plane then driving (same thing we’ve told our kids for college shopping :D).</p>
<p>I live in Brookline. If you can afford a nice place, you should think seriously about it. The place is alive. I call where I live “semi-urban” because we have a full size supermarket and drugstore at the end of our street with some 100 restaurants in a mile radius but we have a big yard and the street is quiet. I walk everywhere: to the library, the gym, one of the 17 million coffee bars, etc. Prices for condos run from around $450 psf to $650 psf, which is much less than Back Bay but you can do the math and see what that means for total cost. Newer condos tend to be 2BR/2BA because the town - idiotically - changed the zoning to require more parking for a 3BR. Condo sizes vary greatly. Condition varies greatly. </p>
<p>And yes, it is very desirable for families because schools are terrific and each elementary school runs k-8.</p>
<p>Why the concern about being “on top of them”? My parents moved to our street when our kids were young. They never drop by unannounced, never intrude. (Had you told me, back in my teenage years, that this would be the case, I would have never believed you!) Our kids would stop by there as they wished, weekly or daily, whatever. Grandma always had goodies for them. We never used them as regular babysitters, we did not want to intrude on them either. At the same time, it was really nice to have emergency back-up for whatever, right down the street. Now that the kids are mostly out and gone, I’m delighted to be so near my folks as they age. And, when the kids come home for holidays, grandparents are right down the street, making it easy for the grandkids to visit them. Win-win for everyone.</p>
<p>So, if you find a neighborhood you like, move there. Think about it: in your neighborhood, do you drop in on the family down the street just because they live there? Of course not. So, enjoy being near your children and grandchildren, whether its two minutes or two hours away. You don’t have to make it seem that you are “on top of them.”</p>
<p>My brother lived in Rockport MA and commuted into Boston daily. It’s a cute little town right on the coast, touristy during the summer but not too bad. We walked everywhere the times we visited.</p>
<p>What are your d/sil planning on doing when the child reaches school age? Are they planning on staying in Boston or moving to the suburbs?</p>
<p>Garland- Red Bank is one of my favorite NJ towns.</p>
<p>It was THE destination for my girlfriends and I to catch the bus to as young teens.
Walkable downtown then and now. Quaint shops, restaurants.
Riverview Medical Center was our family’s hospital back then, think it is part of a conglomerate now.</p>
<p>Count Bassie theatre is cool also.</p>
<p>Jem, 3 hours is too far.</p>
<p>I agree with sopranomom92. I love her post. Move closer. My inlaws live 1/2 mile away. We walk by their place all the time. We don’t stop in and we see them less than once a week.</p>
<p>I am with you on living in a place that doesn’t need a car. I drive fewer than 3,000 miles a year. I try to walk everywhere. Walking to places is great.</p>
<p>Also agree with sopranomom. And, of course, there are some grandparents who are closer to their grandkids when living hours away than others who are close by. That’s a personal choice. That isn’t really the appropriate comparison here. If you want to be involved grandparents, it’s always going to be better to live close by than it is to be hours away. Even if it puts you further away from your other child and his/her family. It’s better to be close to one and only have to fly/travel to the other, than it is to be close to neither and have to fly/travel to both.</p>
<p>" If you want to be involved grandparents, it’s always going to be better to live close by than it is to be hours away. Even if it puts you further away from your other child and his/her family. It’s better to be close to one and only have to fly/travel to the other, than it is to be close to neither and have to fly/travel to both."</p>
<p>Yes. I agree.</p>
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<p>Well, we are all thinking way ahead as they are neither married nor parents at this point. But they plan to stay in Back Bay Boston until their first child would be ready for school, and probably at that point move to Brookline (for the schools). That would be years into the future, though. And of course their plans may change or not work out. But they are hoping to start a family relatively early into the marriage, as they will both be in their 30s at that point (he several years older than she).</p>
<p>Lots of folks from MA retire to Cape Cod. There are some really great towns–Chatham and Wellfleet are my favorites. Depending on where you are located in Boston, you can get to the Cape within 60-90 minutes (depending on traffic). The weather is milder on the coast than in the Boston area. Plus, the Cape is a favorite vacation spot and one that your kids would probably enjoy visiting.</p>
<p>My suggestion would be to drive around and check out towns based on what you can afford and your interests. Drop the 3 hour idea: that takes you to Albany, NY. You can easily keep this to 1 hour, which draws a line that includes Portsmouth, NH down to about Plymouth and out to Worcester.</p>
<p>Coastal towns? Rockport has been mentioned. Nice town, overrun with tourists in the summer. Newburyport? Marblehead? Both of these are towns with centers for walking and shopping and are on the train line. Salem? Lots of choices. You can live on the beach in Marshfield, though other than the beach you can’t really walk places. Portsmouth is a nice place. And so on. It depends on your particular desired mix of nature and city.</p>
<p>I love my house, my neighbors, my commute and everything about where I live except one thing I moved from being 5 miles from my friends and parents to being 40 miles away. It makes a difference.</p>
<p>Very helpful responses which will be fodder for conversation with H on this topic.
Thanks to all!</p>
<p>I grew up in a Boston suburb. I would suggest taking a look at Belmont. It is close to Boston & Cambridge. There are a few public transportation options for getting in Boston ( two bus lines, a commuter rail stop, and the Alewife T stop a short drive away). It is not too large a town. You would be able to find a variety of neighborhoods within walking distance of Belmont Center (shops & restaurants), Cushing Square (shops & restaurants), the library etc… On Belmont Hill you will find Habitat a nature preserve that is run by the Mass Audubon Society.</p>
<p>If you are considering Brookline I would also take a look at Cambridge (maybe the Porter Square area) and Somerville (Davis Square area - very hip & funky, close to Tufts, T stop right there, many restaurants etc…)</p>
<p>If you want to be closer to the beach I would look at towns on the South Shore ( Hingham, Norwell, Scituate, and Duxbury). Lovely towns. May require a bit more driving to get places but you will be close to beautiful beaches (Duxbury in particular).</p>
<p>Another town to consider is Northampton, MA.</p>
<p>Okay, so I am assuming the S, with a long term girlfriend, will also have kids, ie grandchildren. So being close to only the Boston grand kids may be a problem on many levels. So dividing the difference may not be a bad idea.</p>
<p>The areas that come to mind in the Boston area are: Newton, Brookline, Cambridge, Arlington and Jamaica Plain. I live in a Boston suburb and these are all areas I am thinking of for retirement down the road. I also want many of the things you are looking for. I would love to hear updates on where you end up settling.</p>
<p>Thanks again, all. </p>
<p>I have shared the feedback with H, and we have a lot to talk about. Meanwhile, my New Year’s resolution will, (once again,) be to declutter and streamline our primary residence. The goal being to be able to put it on the market whenever we decide to make the retirement move.</p>
<p>We will also make a point of exploring some of the suggested locations. Fun mini vacation ideas!</p>
<p>If not right in Boston, you might investigate Providence, Rhode Island. The “East Side of Providence” (which is not East Providence, a whole nother place!) surrounds Brown University, and is very walkable. Also good public transportation system inside the city. Amtrak train takes you to downtown Boston in one hour. From the airport in Providence or Boston, see how the flights go to some Pennsylvania city, and assume you’d rent a car at that airport to visit the rural son if he couldn’t fetch you.</p>
<p>Or, consider Western Massachusetts, either the City of Northampton (suggested above) or Town of Amherst MA. Both are in the Five College Consortium. It’s 2 hours from Boston. Residents enjoy the cultural performances, academic guest speakers, and sports events.
That puts you in driving distance of Boston and some of Pennsylvania. You might also be able to bus into Boston and fly to PA from the Hartford/Springfield airport that serves Western Mass. </p>
<p>It’s true that Boston folks retire to Cape Cod, but some opt for 2 residences (one very southern) to escape the bleak, windy, cold, wet maritime New England winters. You’d be a desirable summer vacation spot for both sets of kids, but the Pennsylvania crew would have to drive further. Cape Cod towns are walkable within each town center, but you still need a car there to get from town to town.</p>