<p>
Oh, I can deal with it now that I’m out of it myself. My daughter actually applied ED in fall '04 to attend this year, so her application results were more than a year ago. I’m at a different stage now - she’s an only child, so I’ve sent off my first, and have the empty nest all at the same time.</p>
<p>Don’t second guess things at this point, especially ED. ED is not for everybody. A lot of factors have to come together for it to be the right choice. It’s nice to get the stress out of the way sooner, but there are advantages to applying RD.</p>
<p>As far as cutting strings goes, my daughter and I were fortunate enough to have observed several other young people leaving home over the last few years. We noticed they all had one thing in common - they all got into horrible blowups and power struggles with their parents. </p>
<p>It seemed as if engaging in outright war was the only way these families could find to deal with the upcoming changes. They didn’t know how to let go constructively, so used major conflict to redefine their roles. Some previously sane people participated in dangerous behavior for no apparent reason but to cut those strings. My daughter and I talked about it and decided we’d do whatever it took to make the transition in a healthy way, without any of us going nuts. </p>
<p>Sure, we had a few fights, but since we were aware of the danger, we managed to find other ways to handle things. It took a huge effort on both our parts. I had to bite my tongue - hard. She had to see it was a tough time for me too, and cut me some slack. We pulled it off, but not without a concious effort on both sides.</p>
<p>That will only work if you give yourself some credit, and trust what you’ve done with her. It’s okay to let her know you’re having a hard time letting go, but at the same time you have to let her know you’re happy with who she is. </p>
<p>Go to lunch or something - just the two of you. Make an effort to spend some good time together. At the same time, let her make her own decisions about what she does with the rest of her time and respect her for it. And while you’re at it, respect yourself </p>
<p>As a parent, you do everything you can to provide an environment where your child will develop what you didn’t have. No matter how much you invest in that effort, it’s still shocking when it works. You’ve allowed her to achieve a beautiful calm confidence. You could have messed that up for her, but you didn’t. And the dangling arms football hold is your treasure to keep.</p>