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You would be amazed at the lengths school administrators will go to twist a situation into “normal mean girl behavior” or a “personality conflict.” Even after the police have become involved.</p>
<p>In regular old public schools, providing a safe environment is a top priority. I might hover in and ask the school what it is doing to guarantee your daughter’s safety.</p>
<p>I’d hover enough to get all 3 of the girls in the suite to request that this girl be removed. They can list their reasons: asthma (get a doctor’s note), the stabbing incident (how is this girl still allowed in on-campus housing?) etc. If the university’s policy is to move the complainer, then let them deal with moving all 3 of them. I don’t really understand what the suite across the hall has to do with anything. </p>
<p>I suspect the girl may deny that she smokes, but if all 3 roommates attest to seeing her smoke then hopefully the campus will believe the 3 roommates.</p>
<p>It sounds like this girl must have a file several inches thick in res life. They have to know who she is. She needs to be in a single.</p>
<p>Get involved. Stay involved until the problem is solved. </p>
<p>Write letters by email, certified mail, whatever. Copy as many people as you can think of who have a need to know- housing, mental health, dean, their risk management department- basically everyone whom you might name in a lawsuit if your daughter should come to any harm as a result of this rooming arrangement.</p>
<p>I would not only document the asthma, I would politely point out (in a letter/email) that the university could be held liable if the smoking triggered a fatal asthma attack. I would also, politely, point out that the RA’s lack of helpfulness impacts the university’s reputation. I would end with a positive statement about how much D loves the school. I would copy the email or letter to the college president, and Head of Housing and her Dean and the MD in charge of the student health center. </p>
<p>Ah, vicariousparent is saying the same. Yep, rattle the cages. Politely but firmly.</p>
<p>Definitely copy Risk Management in your paper trail. Haven’t dealt with them in a school setting, but in corporations, they’d be all over this. They deal with insurance and claims and liability day in and day out; if they get wind of something that could possibly cause a lawsuit or claim, they do everything to fix the problem before it happens. They don’t need a premium increase.</p>
<p>I thought I would thank everyone for their advice and provide an update.</p>
<p>D asked me to back off and she tried calling the housing office on 4 consecutive work days (a weekend in there) with no response or call back. I gave her the time to keep trying, but told her that if she got no response after 4 days, I would either call or send an e-mail.</p>
<p>On the 5th working day, I sent a factual e-mail, outlining all of our concerns, copying several administrators, and asking for a resolution to the problem. Within one hour, I received an e-mail from the VP of Student Affairs that they were working on finding another place for Crazypsycho roomie. By the close of business, the girl was moved.</p>
<p>Thanks for giving me permission to rev up that helicopter. It was tough sitting on my hands, and almost as tough hovering.</p>
<p>That is such great news limulus! I was going to comment that, in addition to the asthma, the fact that this girl had threatened one of the other girls in the past should have kept her from being placed with the girls. Good luck to D this year.</p>
<p>I am glad it worked out.</p>
<p>Just caught up with this thread. Great news! This is where helicoptering makes sense. You d will learn from this and will hopefully be prepared to handle something like this on her own next time. You have to learn to fight for your rights. I have become a great letter writer over the years, and also understand how important it is to do research on who the right people are.</p>
<p>Thanks so much for the update! Great relief for your daughter!</p>
<p>I’m so glad it worked out.</p>
<p>This is all very good news for you. I’ll bet you are sleeping much better!</p>
<p>I think it’s horrible, though, that your D left messages over 4 work days and never received a call back. That’s just wrong.</p>
<p>toneranger, sometimes things don’t work out without a parent stepping in. It’s unfortunate, but a lot of “authority figures” still don’t take 20 year olds seriously, even in serious life-or-death situations. =/</p>
<p>Way to go Mom. </p>
<p>I will not get invloved with D’s school business except for 1) $ problems with the school (which are really my $ problems since I am paying the bills), and 2) Safety issues. D gets a couple of shots at dealing with these issues then I would get involved. Fortunately D is pretty strong willed and the school has been great - no problems thus far.</p>
<p>Brap, brap, brap!! Good job, OP.</p>
<p>^^^ I thought it was whopita, whopita, whopita. :)</p>
<p>Well…let’s see what the next roommate will bring to the table…</p>
<p>That’s great news.</p>
<p>That’s great, but it makes me a little mad that they would respond so quickly to you, but ignore your D. I hope you CC’d your D on your correspondence, so she can pick up a few tips of how to go about getting satisfaction for next time. Most kids, including my D, would have done the same as your D – just keep calling and hope they call back. They need to learn to write and cc to all the big guns.</p>