It sounds like you are going to sit down and review your parents finances which is crucial to finding out if schools will be affordable to you. Then you can run the net price calculators to see if those schools are going to fit your budget.
A word of caution if you base your affordability on super reach schools this may skew the results. When I run the net price calculator on Williams College for our D23 it comes out the cheapest by a long shot. Our income is high enough that we will not qualify for much aid at some schools but not at schools like Williams were the large majority of students come from a very affluent background.
For my D23 this is her absolute stretch of a reach but she still plans to apply. Schools in that category are a reach for almost everyone now.
If you seek out a top 50 school and they offer merit do not base it on the highest merit available. Look on this site for the average merit awards people will post them and base your affordability on that.
For us the only true safeties are guaranteed admission and affordability. Based on our net price calculator we will probably be full pay at UMASS and we would be willing to go up a little more for a private admission so roughly around $35,000. We can no longer count on UMASS as a safety so she will add in two more state universities. Keep in mind it is not what you are willing to pay it is what your EFC determines you can pay.
My advice is to seek out schools where your stats and scores will put you well above the CDS for the most aid. Don’t get too caught up in rankings or prestige. My husband worked in college Admissions for over 20 years and he always says there are good students at every school.
Still do your research on the schools and see where those students go from there. You will surprised how many great students come out of lower ranked schools.
As far as some suggestions that may offer good aid for women and would be a match look at some of the engineering schools like WPI, RPI, and Rose Hulman.
I wish you the best. We are on a similar path with our D23 albeit different interests for a major.