<p>abasket, I feel for you. I have to watch what I eat too, and this is the tastiest way to avoid overdoing it. You know you tend to eat more when that luscious flavor is still in your mouth and it’s calling your name? Well, instead of “more”, pop in your mouth a sugar-free throat lozenger instead. It won’t add calories, and you can suck it for a relatively long time. Just enough time to stop thinking about what you’re denying yourself, just enough time to distract you. Just enough time to walk away.</p>
<p>I’m bulging, myself.</p>
<p>Bulging more, since menopause.</p>
<p>In January I experienced a moment of horror when I stood on our new, (accurate) scale which proved that my clothes were not shrinking, and that I weighed more than I did at the end of any pregnancy. :0</p>
<p>Now, 5 months later I am bulging much less (17 pounds), but it is taking a concerted effort to lose every pound and inch.</p>
<p>There’s only one way to lose the bulge: Eat less than you burn.</p>
<p>It was simple math to figure out that each pound of fat equals 3500 calories that I ate, but didn’t burn. I lost the first 15 pounds very easily by walking 300-400 calories worth a day (90 calories per mile walked), and eliminating 100-200 calories a day (easy to just cut out a cookie, or desert, or a handful of M&Ms).</p>
<p>but then, still a little bulge-y, and wanting to lose a bit more, I hit a plateau of equalibrium in calories in/calories out. So I have had to cut more food, and add some running. It’s a slow slog to lose the last of the bulge … at least for those of us who aren’t willing to completely give up every food love, or to spend our lives at the gym.</p>
<p>Menopausal women are meant to be sort of soft, I think. At least that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.</p>
<p>I think everyone has to figure out what works for them. For me, it was upping the exercise in order to lose the last bunch of pounds. Then, once the weight was gone, doing those abs and core exercises made a huge difference. Doing abs and core exercises while I was still heavy wasn’t useless – it helped the underlying muscle – but it didn’t look any different.</p>
<p>There is no short cut. Ya’ gotta do what ya’ gotta do. More exercise, less food. Figure out what works for you, and don’t deviate.</p>
<p>I don’t believe that menopausal women are supposed to be soft. I think it takes concentration and effort to not be soft, but it’s by no means impossible.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I do think it’s an obstacle. One of a triple-whammy of obstacles. The hormonal changes make it easier to store fat and harder to burn fat. Men have it, too, as testosterone levels decrease with age.</p>
<p>The second whammy is related to the first: we lose muscle mass. Less muscle means slower metabolism, so more of our calories get stored instead of burned.</p>
<p>And, then finally, insulin resistance is progressive with age. So, for many of us, chronically elevated insulin also makes us burn less fat and store more fat.</p>
<p>Those are just the grim realities of middle age. They can be overcome, but they are very real obstacles. And, I’m not sure that everyone will be able to have washboard abs at age 50. I’m also not sold on the notion that just reducing calories and reducing them more and more and more will produce the desired results. I think it’s possible to eat so little that the metabolism grinds to a screeching halt, with even more lean muscle withering away, making fat loss nearly impossilble.</p>
<p>I don’t eat any candy, any juice, any soda. I don’t put any sugar in my coffee, or anything else. I grow my own vegetables - lots of kale (two kinds), broccoli, escarole, lettuces, two wonderful kinds of chard. I eat fruit. </p>
<p>And I’m also 20 pounds heavier that 20 years ago. Big deal. After age 45, men are evolutionary toast. There’s no particular reason (from an evolutionary perspective) for us to be around. Mostly, we just muck the world up. Maybe if soldiering was restricted to men over 45, we’d be a little svelter. </p>
<p>The reality is the world doesn’t know what we are supposed to look like. 300 years ago and further back, there weren’t enough of us around to know. I expect we’re programmed by evolution to be fatter, so we slow down and can’t compete with the younger fellas.</p>
<p>–</p>
<p>This year, I bought my wife a lawnmower for Mothers Day.</p>
<p>Okay. I’m stretching. It was a week before Mothers Day. And we don’t celebrate Mothers Day. No cards or flowers, though my tomato plants are coming along. (We don’t do Fathers Day or birthdays either.) And to be completely honest, I didn’t actually buy it either. Ellen put it on her American Express credit card to doubt the warrantee.</p>
<p>But the old one dated to 9/11, and repairing it was going to cost (again!) more than half of what a new one would. College bills are all paid! </p>
<p>Now I don’t do lawns. Part of our agreement when we bought the house was that I don’t do lawns. As far as I am concerned, we could allow most of the place to be covered with three-foot wildflowers, except that I’ve been busy digging up the grass in front of the house and raising oddly shaped and colored vegetables. I still have harrowing memories from having to do the 14’ x 16’ lawnette with the push mower in front of our attached house in New York City. No more! I don’t do lawns.</p>
<p>But Ellen needed the right tool to plow the back forty (perhaps closer to 60 – feet). The old one was wheezing (perhaps it had developed an allergy to dandelions), and the dog was getting antsy waiting to do his job barking at the grass spitting out of the back. </p>
<p>So I suggested I accompany her to Home Depot and Lowes and celebrate our newfound post-college-bill prosperity with a new machine for her. After all, in eight years, I never actually saw a college bill. (It’s great to have a wife who both mows lawns and balances checkbooks. I, on the other hand, cook, serve as portable calculator and spellchecker, and act as her mobile GPS device.) </p>
<p>Heading out to purchase a lawnmower is an act of courage on my part. I have discovered there are certain sections of big-box hardware stores that are for manly men. It’s where they keep the chain saws…and the lawnmowers. The color scheme is sometimes a bit different. And I think they blow testosterone through the air ducts to this particular section of the store, the basic marketing concept being that you can only sell manly man products to those who are made to feel the thrill. If your physician thinks you need treatment for “Low-T” or you’ve been brainwashed into thinking so by the TV commercials, no need for injections or pills; just head for the* manly man *section of the hardware store. </p>
<p>Now, it shouldn’t have to be like that. The bigger, heavier, manlier products are those that sell for more (and bring in the higher profits). But one could envision the more compact, efficient, less weighty products selling for more (and, as many of us with the surplus income and lack of college bills begin to age, we will see more of that trend, I suspect). But not much yet, though there are new ones which are “self-propelled”.</p>
<p>When I got out of our unmanly car [a 1997 Saturn wagon filled with Depends and other nursing supplies (Ellen being a hospice nurse)], I took two really deep breaths and mugged a Charles Atlas Mr. America pose. Biceplets bulged (a little), pecs (I call them my Schwarzeneggers) were confused. No abs, though. Mine seemed to have been stolen by a poltergeist more than four decades ago, and regardless of my weight at any particular time, my six-pack has always been a kegger. Ellen hates the show. </p>
<p>It was punctured very quickly when I looked down at my feet. Wrong! White socks inside black Indian sandals. Bet no one ever saw the former Luv Guv like this. No lace-up workboots, or even fancy Nikes for me. I’ve never even stepped inside a Red Wing shoestore. Image deflated, I went in. Now, to be truthful, Ellen is in her element. </p>
<p>First, you have to get past the riding mowers. Between my flower garden, my vegetables, the patio, and the raspberry patch surrounding our 1970s tract house manor, here would barely be a place for them to turn around. At Home Depot, John Deere rules. But there are other manly man monikers. Husqvarna! I roll the “r”. Images of Vikings going berserking (I don’t think I should put that one in an article meant for mixed company.) All Husqvarna means is “house mill” in Swedish. A word with a “q” not followed by a “u” is very masculine, don’t you think? </p>
<p>Then there is “Troy-Bilt”. Love the creative spelling. Real men can’t spell. It comes from a company based in Cleveland. (Actually, it seems, they all come from a company based in Cleveland.) Which Troy? Troy, Michigan? Would that be a recommendation? Troy, New York? With apologies to those from the area, not much of value comes from Troy, New York. Actually there are towns in at least 26 states named Troy. (There are also nine places in Asia Minor.) Troy-Bilt products are “mostly” “assembled in America” (which means made in China, just like all the others, except HusqvaRRRna) . But manly man Hector did have to fight manly man Achilles after metrosexual Paris carried Helen off to Troy. (Why is she called Helen *of *Troy? Shouldn’t she be Helen to Troy?) </p>
<p>If you really think of your lawn mower as a tool, you’d want a Stanley lawnmower, right? Be it known, however, that Stanleys are made by Murray. Not my uncle Murray. (Full disclosure: I don’t have an uncle Murray; only an uncle Marvin.) But if you buy a Stanley, you’ll pay about three times what you will for a Murray. What self-respecting manly man wants a lawn mower named Murray?</p>
<p>Toro made its name as a golf-course maintenance company. Why you would let a bull loose on a golf course is beyond me. Perhaps it refers to the high number of Spanish-speaking golf course maintenance workers. At any rate, golf courses are places where post-manly men spend Saturday mornings getting their regular doses of pesticide. Perhaps it is a contributor to “low-T”. (to be continued…)</p>
<p>So what do we do??</p>
<p>Eat. (10 char.)</p>
<p>For the record, I do often cut our grass too - double sized corner lot - a good hour per mow. :). </p>
<p>I should probably return to Livestrong for a week and that may help me find my way as well.</p>
<p>I am in the same boat; likely worse. I had lost 20# last year and have slowly regained most of it. Am now trying to work my way back again (was down 2.2# at WW tonight…yay!) But sadly, like someone else here said, I currently weigh more than at the end of my pregnancies. I don’t expect to get back in my wedding dress, but I want to get more to a healthy weight and get rid of the dangerous inner tube. Just yesterday I did that measurement to get your waist:hip ratio - a score in the green means good, yellow is borderline and red - NOT GOOD. I was red 
Glad to see I’m not alone, though…maybe checking in here will help motivate me. It’s not that I don’t know what to do, I’m just not good on following through.</p>
<p>I thought that your OP comment about spending all day in the gym was interesting.</p>
<p>I didn’t spend all day in the gym today but I did get in two good runs which were longer than my usual runs. I guess I can always do a little more - as long as life events don’t mess things up.</p>
<p>Bananas - I have more bulge than I’d like. But I think it would be worse if I had not gotten in the habit of bringing a banana to work each day. In the past few years I have verrrry rarely hit the snack vending machines.</p>
<p>Hint for those that only shop weekly - When you buy bananas, try to get a mix of ripe and green. Put some in the fridge for later in the week. Yes, the skin will turn black. But the inside will be ok.</p>
<p>Just cutting portion size helped me lose 10 lbs. I never eat a whole sandwich, 1/2 is enough, etc. Replaced lunch chips with carrot sticks - both are crunchy! Still eat ice cream, but instead of a hefty bowl, I eat what fits in a little custard cup. Then I hit the calories in = calories out place eastcoascrazy mentions and was still a little ‘soft in the middle’. I had to decide how much more I could tolerate cutting out of my diet and how much more exercise I was willing to do. </p>
<p>My daughter and I started using a program called myfitnesspal.com and it has been extremely eye opening, helpful and free! You fill out some simple information and it tells you how many calories you can eat to reach your ‘goal’. It is fairly easy to complete the food and exercise logs. I often enter dinner before I actually eat the meal to see how many calories it is going to add to the end of the day. I am sometimes shocked at the number and can use that information to tailor my evening meal to keep the calories under control. When I use to read that keeping a food log was helpful, I really didn’t believe it would help, but it does!! Speaking of Cheesecake Factory - 1,700 calories for ONE PIECE of their chocolate cake - even sharing it with anothe person can’t be justified! </p>
<p>I am a treadmill walker, but added bursts of 1-2 minutes of running as fast as I can to my workout. </p>
<p>I could probably stand to lose 5-7 lbs. Using myfitnesspal.com to attempt to keep my diet under control and slight increasing the intensity of my exercise seems to be helping. Will have to see if this is enough to get rid of the rest of the ‘middle age bulge’.</p>
<p>
I agree. I’m still the same weight as I was 10, 15 years ago, and I know I’m lucky. But, my wrinkles make me look tired and I have to remember to tighten my tummy now, whereas before, I didn’t even have a tummy.</p>
<p>Almost 4 years ago I started paying close attention to what I was eating, and ultimately lost about 30 pounds. By watching EVERY calorie I eat, I have been able to keep it off.</p>
<p>I keep track of what I eat each day with an online tool, and I stay around 1600 calories a day (I’m a 56 yr old woman). Doesn’t mean I don’t indulge now and then, but I balance it out within the next day or so.</p>
<p>And I don’t eat out much. It’s just too problematic; not just the calories but the outrageous sodium they put in food.</p>
<p>I make my own breakfast and lunch each day to take to work, walk at lunch, and eat a reasonable dinner. It might sounds spartan, but I eat extremely well. Just tonight we had smoked, pulled pork (done at home) lowfat coleslaw, fruit. All homemade and very delicious. </p>
<p>And I’m a big fan of the sugar free jello and nonfat whipped topping. Very indulgent for about 50 calories.</p>
<p>It can be done, but it does require constant diligence. But, to be honest, when I first started out, I wasn’t planning to lose weight; I just wanted to start understanding what I was putting in my body.</p>
<p>I’d like to get rid of the bulge. But this week my bigger diet/exercise motivation is news that a lady from church (in her 40s, mom of a middle schooler) had a heardt attack. She had 100% blockage in one artery.</p>
<p>I’m another Mom with that middle bulge. It really bugs me. I don’t like stuff that most people think are sacrifices to give up- cake, bread, soda, etc. My favorite night time snacks are grapes/cherries/popcorn. I eat yogurt with fruit in the summer and soup in cold weather. Breakfast is oatmeal in cold weather or Special K with fresh fruit in the summer. Dinner is usually fish or chicken. Sometimes pasta and a salad. I really, really don’t eat fat-inducing food but I still have this little tire thing around my middle. I guess the only thing left is to exercise. I think I need a walk buddy.</p>
<p>I don’t think the Dads belong in this thread. We are expected to maintain our bulge, not lose it. :D</p>
<p>My tip: I recognize that sometimes I snack out of sheer boredom, not really hunger, so I will snack on raw carrots and/or celery instead of making a sandwich.</p>
<p>I think men call it a “spare tire”. I know that, as middle age sets in, I had to get better and better about hitching up my pants under that belly. Alas, we are not immune. I do think that it is probably easier for us guys to drop the pounds if we get serious. Unfair to the ladies, to be sure, but we are also less likely to get serious with our diets.</p>
<p>What do we do - enjoy what we love, who we love and have this chocolate, preferrably every day, I do not mind beer either. Has anybody try to add pomegranate juice to your BL? Heavenly, both my H. and me love it…no need to buy that expansive Belgian beer.</p>
<p><sigh> I decided after last holiday season’s food/drinkfest I really had to get back to doing <em>something</em>. I’ve been walking pretty much daily since January, <em>trying</em> to cut down on carbs (NOBODY loves toast more than I do), gave up my nightly glass of wine. Well-- for a while, anyway. Doesn’t seem to be making any difference. </sigh></p>
<p>BTW–I agree that summer almost seems harder. With my family intact again (two kids home from college), it seems like a party every night. </p>
<p>I also agree that men do not belong here! DH can eat salads for lunch for two weeks and lose 10 pounds. GRRRRRR!!</p>
<p>Now back to the bulge–I have a good friend with Celiac’s. She’s thin as a rail–always has been–but <em>she</em> has noticed her own <relatively small=""> bulge the last few years. I don’t think she’s actually gained weight, but things have settled and her clothes no longer fit.</relatively></p>
<p>So my latest idea is to try this P90X (PX90? I can never get it straight) thing. A woman I know has used it with good results (she’s getting married in September) and she said she’ll pass hers on to me. Hoping that’s some kind of kick-start for my body. Guess we’ll see. . .</p>