(College [Pretty much one big failure])
I wound up going to a Catholic School after much deliberating, the school which actually did make it pretty high on the Princeton review of the world’s best colleges, but at the time I thought myself an idoit for not doing my applications correctly, which were built for a computer science major switching into mechanical engineering as mentioned earlier. But I wound up throwing caution to the wind after finding out there were GPA requirements for switching majors, even though I believed I could make them I applied as a mechanical engineering major which was much harder to get into a lot of the schools that I was applying for as, because I didn’t want to risk not being able to switch. I still regard this as a dumb decision and actually think I may have had much more of a shot at MIT if I had applied as a computer science major despite my GPA and SAT scores.
In any case, I was very depressed, I withdrew from calculus, got a D- in physics (which happened for a stupid reason, my fault but my grade was good until I had to do a makeup quiz and a final in one day and stayed up too late [studying, I couldn't get a problem right, even though all the equations seemed right, figured out that one of the "U's" in the book wasent the same as another one, and I stayed up until 7 AM because of that] and also couldn't get my time and a half [which I later found out I got authorization for a minute after the final began]) [/spoiler] and was not acting like the student I use to be. My grades were bad, but passing for the most part. I took acting, voice lessons and chorus one semester where I had my "mid-mid life crisis" and thought maybe I wanted to do something outside of STEM, this stuck with me until my third semester there where I got a D in pretty much everything. I was went through a decision making processes where I would either return to my school for a semester or take a semester off. I wound up taking a semester off. After it I went to a state school to try to be a music major. After 1.5 semesters there, I had to drop out, and a few months later -about two and a half years ago- Scrupulosity OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder not around washing hands and germs but around ethics and morals) took over my life. I have a feeling the beginnings of it were messing with me for a very long time. I finally became functional again about a year and a half ago (this is also why I am trying to keep this as anonymous as possible). I still have a lot of anxiety but not too many obsessions/compulsions at least not that interfere too too much.
I had wanted to return to my first school but the application deadline was too late (though I thought applying for that semester would be earlier and feasibly could have, stupid mistake). I wound up working part time for the semester and returning part time to my state school for the following semester. I did badly in the two classes (C- in Physics II [though I have a feeling it was really a D+, and D+ in Calculus II) I took, and re-took one over the summer (CalcII). Though I was still registered as a music major I was heading back down the Computer Science and Mechanical Engineering rout I had started on. That brings me to today, the head of the physics department gave me the go ahead as a sort of last chance for the next physics class and I took Data Structures, Operating Systems, Calculus III, Choir and Performance Study.
My plan was to return to my original school and partake in the 3:2 (three years in one major at their school and two years at another school for the engineering major, both Bachelors, which can be done if one is readmitting as opposed to transferring so long as that was your major when you left) program they offered as I was before, however they informed me the requirements have been bumped up and it would be next to impossible to meet them with my record. As well as I think I may have failed Physics, I failed CalcIII and and maybe Operating Systems (which I have an incomplete in, which I am hoping I didn't misunderstand and miss the deadline) I may have even done poorly in data structures (or may as well be, I didn't turn in 25% of course credits due to being busy with physics even though it was very easy [and I got a 94+% on the mid term and likely a high score on the final as well], PS thats also why I have an incomplete in Operating Systems and a F in CalcIII [though it wasent an F for the rest of the Semester T.T I didn't see this coming]).
I am very upset with myself as you can probably imagine. I wanted to make a post today asking about applying to another Catholic School that has the same 3:2 program (which I was also accepted to before) as a freshman and transferring credits (because one can not transfer into this program, and also part of why I included the stuff about highschool), and ask for recommended schools, (one I was thinking of was Wentworth Institute of Technology), but now I am very concerned about getting kicked out, and even if I dont, Im concerned I wont be able to move on in the physics never-mind escape this school (not to mention disappointed his OS professor, because he could see I already knew the course content and was expecting something spectacular but I was so busy with physics I didn't even get the baseline done [though he said what I did do went above and beyond]). ("Move on in a physics major" is part of why I am making this post because my school doesn't have mechanical engineering, part of the reason I want to get out, also the grad opportunities seem limited).
Most of the failure this semester happened in a matter of days, I am horrible with time and I didn't show up to my labs (late was one thing but late and living 30 minutes away is another); as a result was doing them the last couple days before finals. I got the journals and reports done but I didn't get to study much and pushed off my last few assignments in my other classes.
I don't know what to do now. I love my parents but don't tend to trust my parents advice for a number of reasons including just the fact that it usually hasn't worked out for me. In addition I did get accepted to Florida Institute of Technology but from what I can tell its not all that well respected. Another thought of mine is to pursue a physics + computer science degree and get a masters in mechanical engineering. I dont know what to do I am very disappointed and frustrated with myself and my options seem to be getting smaller and smaller, maybe even disappearing.
I guess to put my question more succinctly I’m asking:
- For general advice/help
- Is it possible to apply to a school as a freshmen then transfer credits in from other schools
- Is there any way I might be able to get out of this school and into another
- How to pursue the major and other things I want to do and recover from this.
Sorry this is so long and goes into so many details, I felt they mattered because this is a very bad failure and I wasent always a bad student like this. I know I can do more, and a lot of my failures are due to logistical reasons on my part rather than not being smart enough, or even in the case of data structures and OS knowing the subject already, having the professor know that and still doing poorly. I feel like no matter what I do I mess up. I can just default and be just a computer science major and I think everything would be fine. But I want to do more than that. I have always wanted to be an engineer since I was a kid. I feel like I have ruined my own dream which I worked so hard for before college.