Lol, we literally just got rid of our 16 year old minivan last year (we donated it - it still ran just fine for short trips so we didn’t want to junk it) so I get the idea of not wanting to spend on a car, even if you can afford it.
I also get the need to balance family funds between children, we have two more children coming up quickly who also will be going to college and there is no way we want to be anywhere near $1million in college costs (which would be very easy to get to with 3 children as a ‘full pay family’).
That’s one of the reasons I am always banging on about figuring out a firm budget before starting the process. Much like house buying, it is easy to fall in love with the ‘dream’ one that is way above a reasonable budget…and the bank (or college) will always tell you there is a way to afford it. Setting and knowing your hard limit in advance can help not falling in love with a school that will leave you full of regret (and with a much lighter wallet).
I think it is great that you are incorporating the ideas of your son’s need for a place of worship as well as his drive to serve. Those are the kinds of “must haves” that I think will really illuminate which schools will or won’t work for him as he continues his search. As I said before, it will work out. 