Some people underestimate the amount of large motor activity these kids need. DIL discovered grandson easier to manage if they went out to do some activity everyday. Preferably outside at playgrounds. They joined the zoo. They joined the children’s museum and aquarium too for rainy days. They used the harness for a while until he was more manageable. A safe place to run and climb and get tired is needed. Now that those places aren’t as available they invested in a blowup bounce, climb, slide with water for the backyard. They put these ahead of other budget items and we grandparents helped out. GS is 3 1/2 now and much easier to manage and plays quietly at times too. But still needs large motor movement time. He is bright and inquisitive. We would not want to squelch that.
My father was a psychiatrist, and I spent half the toddler years with my parents to take advantage of their help. He gave very little direct advice, ever, even when asked, to anyone at any time. However, he told me he’d observed carefully and warned me not to let anyone talk me into medication. This was advice for particular toddlers, not universal advice. He also is the one who thought of the zippered tent. He told me cautionary tales of childhood head injuries and about a very young cousin of my generation who had died as result of a backyard accident, which wasn’t something discussed in the family. He was concerned about cartoon viewing. Think about road runner and wylie coyote. Lots of unsafe behaviors for imaginative toddlers to model in children’s programming at that time. The only other advice I can recall was to help them learn to calm themselves. Since they loved books, I spent hours daily reading to toddlers in my lap . They never sat still to watch tv. That was always an interactive activity.
We have at least three generations of runaway toddlers in my extended family, though mine seemed an extreme example. I think it was easier to parent these children when the norm wasn’t one mother home alone with her young children. My grandparents had household help and various family members living with them off and on during the child raising years. My grandmother was never really all alone with her runaway boys. My parents were able to hire help, and they needed it. Grandparents on both sides used to come visit to help out as well. During the preschool years my father came home for lunch every day to help with my brothers.
I had no help. The concept of village works in some neighborhoods, but not others (in the city it is harder). Lots of parents are raising kids alone, sometimes even in dangerous neighborhoods. So without help, I am not sure what people might do other than talk to a doctor. And yes, avoid medication. Martial arts might help, even for kids quite young- but not toddlers.
A neighbor up the street had a young son with autism diagnosis who ran all the time. I caught him at the bottom of our street (big long hill) and took him back to her. I was afraid DCF would get involved. Not her fault at all, but the state isn’t always reasonable. I had my eye out for him all the time. DCF is an issue, and that might be a reason to talk to a professional- to protect the parent if DCF ever gets involved.
My own kid was gifted and as he grew up remained a bit intense, but that drive and energy went into a great job. My mother had a swimming pool with no fence and sliding glass doors that went out to it. Nightmare.
I know two such toddlers who died because of this snd I have a cousin who was seriously injured, now and adult with a blind eye, and some disabilities believed to come from damaged from an accident from an escape. It is a serious problem and not funny at all.
Constant supervision, a harness and leash, locked doors and a GPS device locked on the kid. It’s difficult, yes, but unless the child has developmental, behavioral, mental, emotional disabilities, this will be outgrown. I know a couple of families who have children who will forever have this issue as their kids are disabled.
Parents get judged for the leashes, and judged for the accidents without leashes. I wish people wouldn’t judge situations they don’t understand. Very sad stories @cptofthehouse
Even our pediatrician, with fancy academic research background, commented as mine went off to college, “Did you ever imagine this is how your children would turn out? I didn’t.”. 
Good luck, somemom. Lots of hugs to all of you.
We had a sleep walker. We installed infered safety beam device that would alarm.
Deadbolts on door that require keys. That being said, also think about fire safety. In an emergency, you wouldn’t want to struggle with a key at a critical exit point in ones house.
Someone else mentioned drowning. Whenever my kids were near water
They wore a foam life vest ALL day. Even if out of the water sitting on a towel or playing by the shore. I had three kids two years apart and live near the beach.
I saw a mug in Target that read: Today’s Goal: Keep the Tiny Humans Alive. That was my job as a mom of toddlers.
My first was a runner. He had a leash. We also taught him the word “STOP” and “GO”. In malls, we would let him run (where there were no other people around) for about 20 feet, call “STOP” and then when we caught up to him, call “GO”, rinse, lather, repeat. Otherwise, he was in sight at all times. If I was not in the same room as one of my toddlers, bad things would happen. I found all of them, at different times, on top of furniture if I left the room to go to the bathroom or to start dinner. Even when I was in the same room, bad things happened if I wasn’t paying attention. I had to save one of the kids from choking on a meatball, after he got up to the table to eat off his sibling’s plate while I was on the phone and distracted.
I should mention that one of them was a sleep walker. We had a house alarm that would alarm if a door was opened. The one time that it broke, the child unlocked the deadbolt, left the house in the middle of the night, in 40 degree weather, walked 1000 feet away and rang a neighbor’s doorbell. When the neighbor answered the door, they woke up and hurried back home. I found out when I heard the door slam when they came back in. I was yelling at the alarm company the next day. They had previously refused to come and fix it.
When I was three, I swallowed a large plastic piece, about 3/4 of an inch in diameter. I remember thinking “I wonder what will happen if…” I got a free trip to the ER and the OR from that. Kids are curious, but they don’t have the life experience to get beyond thinking “I wonder …” to “that would be a bad idea”.
Don’t leave a toddler or young child alone. A video monitor is not a substitute. I’ve known many families, including ones I’m closely related to, who have lost children to accidents.
Ooh thats horrible.
DS#1 and DIL got an inflatable hot tub. Granddaughter loves it. I really really hope they keep a close eye on her, b/c she’s a handful and a runner and very determined. She was clearly the leader at her daycare- and was since the kids could first move around.
If this child is developmentally typical, then there is no reason why you shouldn’t use natural consequences when he bolts. Make it clear that climbing the fence is never okay, and if he does it, confine him to his room every single time. Abuse of freedom equals loss of freedom.
Corporal punishment doesn’t work except in rare cases (I smacked my son’s backside after he ran off in a busy parking lot, and he never did it again.) But not having any consequences at all is just as bad. The child needs to begin to learn self-control and that his behavior is wrong.