s sick for week and a half - how catch up?

Parent Cafe
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<p>“Here is my concern…what was he doing for a week and a half…was he so sick he was comatose…I am not being flip, but unless he was delirious and weak, there was somework he could have been doing. So if he was able to sit up, watch tv, read books, then he was well enough to do some work during the day. I can understand not sending a sick kid to school”</p>

<p>I can’t even work if I have a mild headache. Where did she say that he was watching TV and reading? Maybe I missed that part. I can do very little of anything when I am sick other than eating soup and bananas (which I am too weak to even fix for myself!).</p>

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<p>Dmd, penguin mints sound great! I’m going to go on a hunt for them today. I was really psyched that my s was into the tutor - he’s got to take ap chem and the sat II chem so he’s got to stay on top of all the material. </p>

<p>citygirlsmom, I have lapsed into a zen state with my two teenage boys. If they basically stay on top of things, I don’t get too irritated with them. And tutors are dirt cheap in our middle of the country city - I almost told the tutor that she wasn’t charging enough. Didn’t she hear the note of desperation in my voice? :slight_smile:
My parents were quite controlling and I try - don’t know if I succeed - to give my kids some leeway with their personal decisions. Sometimes I think I’ve gone too far in the other direction but who knows, really?</p>

<p>Oh! forgot to add: he still had a fever of 102 in the morning after five days so it wasn’t one of those lounge around illnesses. He did write a short paper Sunday night but then slept all day Monday. I was worried his teachers would assume that, too, but apparently people really welcomed him back yesterday. I hope he finds a college that he’s as happy with as he’s been with his high school.</p>

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<p>You probably won’t like my opinion here but I will just mention what I would have done. When my kids are even out ONE day, we get the work every single day and do NOT wait to get it. I realize your son was sick and was not up to doing barely anything. But even with most illnesses, some might be able to put an hour of work/reading, etc. into a day. When my kids are sick, we call the school and each teacher submits a note about what work was missed and needs to be done, to the office and then I pick up the pile of missed work notifications. Then we have the work in hand for when they are up to doing it. When they are not sick but know they will be absent, they approach each teacher ahead of time to obtain all the missed assignments, etc. They are rarely sick but have been. But the latter scenario when they know they will be absent, happens fairly frequently for one of my kids due to some of her travels. I also have a college freshman who is going to miss an entire week of college next week for her sport and will be across the country. She is approaching each professor to obtain the work she will miss. She has negotiated an extenision on a research project due the day she returns. I realize I am talking of two different scenarios with regard to absences…one for being sick, one for known reasons ahead of time. But even for the sports event, she will not be able to do homework for a good 13 hour block per day but will still have to fit it in. When sick, many hours are spent feeling awful and sleeping but often there is a little respite for a brief period when one might be able to do a tiny bit of work, not all but some. </p>

<p>Of course your son did not know he would be sick. But I cannot imagine not obtaining the work during his absence so that he would be aware of what he was missing and when he felt he could sit up and do a little work, make some attempts to not get super far behind. Since that did not happen, I would have him NOW meet with each teacher and obtain a list of missed assignments, negotiate due dates and so forth. I would leave nothing to chance. Also in high school, teachers expect kids to be in contact with classmates to obtain missed class notes and things of that nature. I would see if any extensions could be arranged. But he will have lots to make up if he was doing NO work during the entire absence. </p>

<p>I would also be very strict about him devoting every waking moment to getting caught up. I would allow the sports practices if he could demonstrate he was working on getting caught up the rest of the time but I would even lay that on the line if I found he was doing other things. </p>

<p>I think when you are a student, even if sick, unless you have a debilitating disease, you should make some attempts to do SOME work during the absence. My kids always have when sick. Once my youngest child in middle school was thought to have Dengue Fever which they believe was caught when we were in the Turks and Caicos and this disease involves extreme weakness. She would attempt school and would inevitably have to come home, for a couple of weeks and she always kept up with homework even so. She was not up to par doing it like normal and had to sleep alot but when she was awake, there were time segments when work was done. Like your son, she had required rehearsals for her annual dance show as it was approaching and she tried to sleep, go to those and do homework but was not in class regularly during this time. Keeping up with schoolwork is something we have always expected and have gotten daily makeup work when absent for whatever reason. </p>

<p>As I said, this is a comment in hindsight but even now, I would have your son work with each teacher to get assignments and work out a plan to get the work in.
Susan</p>

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<p>I am aware your son was sick, but # 1- a 102 temperature for five days - did your son see a doctor? #2 - My teenager will sleep all day when she is healthy, its what teenagers do. </p>

<p>At our schools, if a student is out for more then three days, they are required to bring in a doctors note if they have been ill. That is for several reasons- the biggest is to make sure they are well enough to return and are not contagious.</p>

<p>As well, you are not letting him deal with it on his own as you are paying for a tutor.</p>

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<p>I guess I am concerned because when your son does go to college, he will need to learn to work through sickness. There is always a way to do something, take notes, read ahead, call friends and get updates, email teachers and get assigments. I agree with Sooviet- I am not trying to be judgmental, but I know a kid in chemo who kept up with her work. </p>

<p>And, no the OP did not say her son was watching tv or whatever, but if he was, then he was well enough to do something else. If not, then if it was my kid, they would have been to a doctor.</p>

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<p>I hope your son is all healthy now. :slight_smile: </p>

<p>I can relate, I don’t have the healthiest body so I’m often out sick. Only once was I out for a week, but I’m usually out an average of 4 days a month. I take AP/H courses, have an internship, school newspaper, EC, and other activities but even with being sick, I still manage to work through all of these things. </p>

<p>What I always do, is I go and visit all my teachers at the beginning of school the day I come back. I make sure to get to school early, and usually hop around classrooms with my breakfast in hand. I have a notebook with folder dividers in hand and I ask them what I missed, what they will be doing the upcoming days, what I should be studying, and what should I do/who to go to in order to catch up. Also, what would be the best times to contact them if I have questions. </p>

<p>During class I always ask everyone around me on their take on what happened and get notes from at LEAST two people-- not everyone takes everything down and you want to make sure you cover all the bases, esp. if what you feel is important is different from someone else, or if they reworded it differently. </p>

<p>Afterschool I go to my ECs, then I head straight to the library’s quiet room. If I go home I always have this urge to crawl back into bed. Usually I go home, eat a snack, dress in sweats THEN go and study away. The good thing about studying in the library is you have all your resources there. If you don’t understand something, ask the librarian for a book on it; often I find different methods or ways to look at something, and in turn I learn it quicker. </p>

<p>Does your school have an National Honors Society? Often they offer tutoring, and they’re kids who have been through the classes and know what teachers do/want. I’m in NHS myself but I have friends who are in it and I schedule an hour or two with them the day I get back to school, esp. if I have a quiz/test coming up that week. One, I choose friends who have taken the class or are in it and two, NHS tutors always need hours to get their cords and they are free. </p>

<p>Well, good luck!</p>

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<p>Aroundthecorner, very good suggestions for the next time one of my kids is sick. I’m even going to print it out. I like the “get in early and talk to the teachers first thing” concept. You can get an immediate idea of their expectations and let them know where you are, as far as sickness and catching up. Very nice!<br>
As for everything else, let’s just say in quick summary the school was appropriately informed, the doctor was called, handouts were picked up though most homework is available in some form online, yadda, yadda. I was glad he played poker yesterday because mental health is important, too.<br>
Just as a general note on the flu in our area, because it’s sort of interesting, we’ve had many schools and some entire nearby counties close their schools because of flu recently. We’ve had school “flu closings” on the morning news instead of “snow closings.” One school was recently reported to be closing because they 1) ran out of substitute teachers and 2) “needed to air the school out”. [I don’t know why that cracked me up.]</p>

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<p>Heidi, the good news then is (well, it is not really good news but there is always a positive slant to something)…that many kids must have been sick with the flu recently at this school. Many are having to make up work and are in the same boat. The teachers must be dealing with this phenomenom frequently at the moment. So, for now, it behooves your son to get on the ball and get all missed notes from his healthy peers, meet individually with each teacher to discuss missed assignments and make up work and due dates in his case, hopefully he was checking this online homework line right along, etc. </p>

<p>While free time and mental health are important, in my view right now his first priority must be schoolwork and making up for lost time. If he did no work for over a week, he has to work especially hard now and might be low on “free time”. He is already going to his sports practices and events even though he is behind in school and in order to do that, I would say all the rest of the time must be put toward getting caught up. If there is something he does not get, then he must line up appointments with teachers to get back on track. This is not insurmountable but if not nipped in the bud immediately, he could flounder. I’d be real strict about this if it becomes an issue (I don’t know your son of course). </p>

<p>Susan</p>

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<p>Hi Susan! It’s hard to lay down the law with a teenage boy, but I did manage to bug him a lot last night, which is sort of the same thing. I was unusually stern with him this morning to get him moving for his early morning meeting with one teacher, so I am at some level assimilating your advice. :slight_smile: Anyway, my s is meeting with his math and chem teachers today [don’t know who set up the meetings] and I have been very impressed with his teachers trying to help him catch up. He STILL feels really sick, though! What a bad virus he caught…<br>
I’ve read some of your other posts - must be really fun to go watch those ski competitions!</p>

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<p>Heidi, sounds like he is meeting with teachers and so that is important and it will work out. I am sorry he still feels sick. Total bummer. Also with an athletic event coming up, that will be hard. I am a sports mom too as my D was in three varsity sports in high school. I am now deciding on whether to fly out to Idaho for next week when her college ski team, including herself, competes in nationals…the distance is far greater than it was for high school sports watching!</p>

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<p>I vote yes!! to the Idaho trip, just for the opportunity to see Idaho! I’ve never been there and I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone from there.</p>

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<p>Heidi…just to let ya know, I AM going! by the way, I may even meet DrDrewsMom.</p>