<p>Our binder with consolidated information is in the safety deposit box. The kid on the signature card can access it immediately in case of death of both parents. Or any other time. I have everything I can imagine they would need there, including our cemetery plot titles. </p>
<p>All our kids are over 21.</p>
<p>Good idea–next time our kids are in town, we should do this as well. Our kids are 22 & 24; both are very responsible.</p>
<p>fyi – I would recommend AGAINST putting in safe deposit box. I am told if bank is aware of death, they must hold box till a court order establishes who can open. My sister has my information, and I have hers.</p>
<p>Yes, it can make life more complicated if bank is aware of death. Using adult sibs we trust as reliable sources of info in case of death or disability is a useful suggestion to consider, especially if they live in the same area and you keep each other updated.</p>
<p>One other problem that happens for financial info is that it may not be updated as regularly as one might wish or otherwise think wise (unfortunately, it’s generally hindsight/retrospective & too late to change at that point).</p>
<p>kayf: interesting. Are you saying boxes and accounts can be kept from an adult child officially on the signature cards of those accounts? Does that mean if one spouse dies, the other has no access to joint accounts?</p>
<p>MY FIL has my husband’s name on all his accounts for this reason. I have never asked a lawyer about this.</p>
<p>Our safety deposit box is set up so that in the case of a death of ONE key holder, the others have access to it. Same with our bank accounts. It’s all how you set it up.</p>
<p>If assets are jointly held, there is less of an issue with access. In my case, everything was held jointly and I had no problem with access and ownership, cars, financial accounts, house, etc.</p>
<p>Did not have bank deposit box.</p>
<p>I am informed where I live, there will have to be a court order (which is quick to get, say a week), and a bank officer will inventory. A joint deposit box will only let the other person make copies of anything in box, if bank is aware of death.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.tax.ny.gov/pdf/publications/estate/pub603.pdf[/url]”>http://www.tax.ny.gov/pdf/publications/estate/pub603.pdf</a></p>
<p>Yes, I think it may be a state issue about whether someone has access to a joint account after the death of a spouse. Sometimes it also depends on an and or an or. When my father died, my mom automatically received title to house/car because they were listed M or F. I know my aunt in another state could not access the bank accounts that were in both names when my uncle died. Fortunately, she had a few days warning and was able to set up her own account to get by.</p>
<p>kayf: Thank you for that link.</p>
<p>Before she pays of the cards she should go thru all the charges. Make sure they are legit. And if they were in his name only, she needs to check that she even needs to pay them. There is no rush to pay those off. Having a roof over your head is more important. The IRS probably would have worked out a plan. Your friend needs to slow down. Think. If a hundred thousand plus is missing, there has to be a paper trail. She seems to be in such hurry to close accounts, she may be paying needlessly.</p>
<p>Also, she should be able to get some free legal advice from senior advocacy groups, or at least lower fees. My friend is going thru a divorce and at a local women organization she gets legal consolations for 50 an hour. Contact your local bar association and they may have recommendations. She shouldnt have rushed to pay his credit card and medical bills off leaving herself with nothing. They do ply hardball, but if you say, I can do this, and this, or you can sue and get nothing, they generally with accept payment plans. I dpnt understand the IRS hounding her in just the last few weeks. If he didn’t file, it takes time to pull it together, and you can work with them. I’m not getting her panic to pay everything off so quickly leaving her in such a vulnerable position. And why not tell the kids? Either they will help or they won’t. No time for pride nor embarrassment cause dad was either an idiot or had dementia to some degree.</p>
<p>I’m a little confused about the IRS thing. Is this for past years when they should have filed but didn’t? Taxes for this year aren’t due yet. Is this something she knew about before his death?</p>
<p>I agree, encourage her to take a deep breath and slow down a bit.</p>
<p>She took out a loan a while back because he didn’t pay taxes for some years before she became aware of it when they started getting IRS notices. I don’t have the timeline down as she just tells me bits & pieces and I try not to probe. She may tell the kid & stepkids at some point, but I don’t think this has all sunken in yet. Not sure over what period of time the $150K vanished, but believe it was in the last 5 years that I’ve known her because that was the time frame when she found out he wasn’t paying taxes & took out a loan to pay them off. I’m sure she didn’t realize how vulnerable she is and how bad things would get and have gotten.</p>
<p>She has a meeting soon to talk with social security. I told her to get a quote BEFORE she meets/talks with any attorney or other professional. She’s very naive and trusting, always wanting to do everything correctly & pay off all debts. I feel it hasn’t really sunken in how few assets and how little income she has. I told her NOT to pay off the medical bills but she said she already did (she probably signed as a guarrantor anyway).</p>
<p>It’s very tough to watch this train wreck in progress (which was in motion long, long before I met her) and hard to figure out my precise role. She is a wonderful person and has been an amazing community volunteer and organizer.</p>
<p>If we learn anything from this, its to breath, and don’t feel the need take care of all debts immediately. And while its laudable to want to take care of business, most can wait a few weeks or months after a death until the person takes care of themselves. Medical bills, they don’t have to be paid all at once, set up a payment plan. Yes, they will call, annoy, but be firm and say, I can send this amount each month. The credit cards, pay minimum, cancel cards, and once she can, start paying them off, if indeed she even has to. </p>
<p>Did her husband loan money to anyone? In think your role in this can be to find ways to help her think clearly, slow down, and say, yes it’s good you want to pay everyone off, but you need a roof over your head and food first. Also, she is going to need to do some detective work. Pull old bank statements and look at odd checks or cash withdrawals. See if there is a money trail. Did he make investments? Did he have another mailing address or post office box? Were there interesting charges on credit cards? It may lead to unaccounted for money. Maybe he as talked into lending it to someone? Maybe he bought some weird stock or insurance? Maybe a time share? Whoever the heck knows, but my guess is the lawyer may ask those kinds of questions, and if she does a bit of research, she may get some answers and a reality check and may not be so anxious to cover his legacy.</p>
<p>Just found out he had ANOTHER LOAN that is in his name only, fortunately. Also talked with an attorney friend who said that their is an “innocent spouse rule” that should have helped her as well, but her accountant was totally unhelpful about this & she didn’t know anything about it & just wanted to pay off whatever IRS said they owed. I suspect it’s too late to do anything about that at this point.</p>
<p>I did tell her to ask her friend who referred the attorney and the attorney what they have to offer and how they can help her without adding to her bills. I also got the name of a free elder law place at the local law school and she promised to give them a call and follow up.</p>
<p>Another thing to be learned is to get the best advice you can BEFORE paying money. I believe the innocent spouse rule could have helped her save a LOT of money, as does my friend who does estates and has heard of the situation sadly too often.</p>
<p>What was being used as collateral for securing these loans? Perhaps there is an asset that is around somewhere that was used.</p>
<p>I know it’s too late to help her, but yes, the innocent spouse rule would likely have been of great help. They have recently eased the rules for qualifying for this.</p>
<p>The IRS is very good about setting up payment plans. There is a small fee to do so, but worth it in many cases. The accountant sounds quite negligent, on both counts. If the account is accruing interest only, then it’s often more effective to pay off higher interest accounts than to pay the IRS. Their interest rate is quite low.</p>
<p>I mentioned the innocent spouse rule in post 2. Ok, I am chopped liver. Himom, she maybe able to file a refund claim. She might be able to find an accountant who will do this for her for a % of taxes received. She also might want to contact her local law school to see if thye have a clinic that can help her with this.</p>
<p>Was her accountant his accountant? Just me being a conspiracy nut.</p>