<p>You missed the whole point. Many kids at public high schools CHOOSE to do things in the community rather than at school because these kids realize that high school is not the end-all-be-all of life. This is not a requirement to “up” their college admission chances, it is a personal choice. These students realize there is a much bigger world out there, and they seek out opportunities to be involved in that bigger world. They think outside-the-box, looking for ways that they can make a difference. That kind of initiative, drive, and imagination demonstrates true leadership and is - understandably - attractive to the adcoms at top schools.</p>
<p>Well, to be fair, nychomie is extremely sheltered and has been told all his life about the impressiveness of his prep school and the superiority of its occupants. Sort of Chua parenting in reverse – lots of focus on how special he and his classmates are.</p>
At the risk of being <em>contraversial</em> - aren’t those who have little knowledge about prep schools and have public school experience only “sheltered” as well, in the sense of the term being used in this context? Who is more “qualified to judge” the the other side - people who have experience with and know public schools or people who have experience with and know prep schools?</p>
<p>I haven’t read the whole thread, because after reading the top 20 list I was already annoyed. The majority of these schools are in NY, and of those that aren’t, most are in Mass. There are a few in NH, one in NJ, and a couple in CA. So even if you’re rich and willing to spend oodles of money, if you actually want to see your prep school children regularly and at least pretend to parent them, then you’re plum out of luck unless you live in or near NY. </p>
<p>Good thing there are wonderful young minds living all over this great country, and many of them each year find ways to enter that Ivy/MIT/Stanford pipeline just fine without prep school.</p>
<p>Right, but the people who run for leadership at prep schools aren’t necessarily doing it to pad their resumes either. Also, many of them go outside their prep school community as well to help out-- not all ECs are restricted to the campus and off-campus volunteering is especially encouraged. </p>
<p>The truth is we can’t be certain of the real motives of either group. Is it to pursue a passion, college admissions, or both? I’m guessing for the vast majority of people, it’s both. Who would want to do an activity they dread? But at the same time, if you love doing something and spend a lot of time on it, you might as well get credit, right? You will find few who will leave out their activities when it comes time to filling out college apps. It makes sense that students pursue their ECs for both reasons.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl, I thought “anti-snobbery is just as unattractive as snobbery”? But I’m not even being a snob. Anyway, I have repeated many times that I don’t believe prep school is necessarily a better option for everybody, but it is a superior option for some. Many people choose the prep school route for reasons BEYOND college admissions (arguably, being at a prep school can even hurt you if you can’t do well in a sea of highly accomplished students, so in this sense, it is also somewhat of a risk). These people know that many public high schools (esp. if they live in a wealthy district) can be terrific options as well, but maybe they liked the prep school better for “fit” reasons (parents here love that) and have the money to pay for it. Why can’t you just accept that?</p>
<p>The prep HS plays the same role in a HS student life as a top college plays in a young adult life. A lot more people are ready to pay for a top college but few would like to pay for top prep HS.</p>
<p>When we were looking for DD High school we kept the money out of the equation and chose the best fit school.
When we asked DD to look for college we kept the money out of the equation and asked her to chose the best fit college.</p>
<p>I’m glad that I was able to provide DD with such an option. I don’t think any of the above options have made her even a tiny bit snob. </p>
<p>If I had to chose to pay between HS and College, I would have chosen HS because a 17/18 year old is much more mature than a 13/14 year old.
I strongly believe that K-12 education is the most important phase in anyone’s life and can make or break one’s future.</p>
<p>LasMa: There are tons of other parent in the same position but every one have their priorities. For us this was the priority and we are glad that we were able to fullfil it.</p>
<p>Education is a high priority for our family, and selecting the right educational opportunities has been on our radar screen since the kids were young. This meant choosing to pay for their education. This was a choice we made, even though we live in a good public school district. The private school education did offer opportunities that weren’t available in the public system. They emerged as well rounded, polite, responsible, diplomatic young adults who chose their extracurriculars because they enjoyed the activities, had a passion for those they chose and wanted to give back to their community. They , their friends and classmates didn’t do them for school credit or to pad their resumes. To imply that of any student, in the public or private system, is offensive, ignorant, rude and inflammatory. The student who resume pads or is a “serial joiner” is usually pretty obvious to the adcomms.</p>
<p>Perhaps in YOUR circle of friends and business colleagues this is true. And it certainly is true for those who are paying the sizable tuition (isn’t it $35K a year) at the Harker School. To say there are TONS of other parents in this position is a very gross exaggeration. Folks in THIS position are in the top perhaps 10% of wage earners in this country…that leaves 90% who are not.</p>
<p>That being said, many of us made prudent decisions about schools. We bought land and built our house…and chose to plant it in a town well known for the specific things our kids had strong interests in. We were not disappointed.</p>
<p>This is not a very well thought-out response.</p>
<p>You can’t know their motives for sure. Like I said, in most cases, they join probably for both reasons-- because they want to do it and because it will look good. Keyword: “aren’t necessarily.” You can’t just project your own motivations onto them. It’s incredible that you keep misreading my posts. As you can tell from this thread, I’m very patient in re-explaining my posts, but you are definitely pushing it.</p>
<p>When people do internships and such in college, you better believe they have their resumes in mind as well.</p>
<p>thumper1: I do understand your take on this too but you need to take into account that being first generation we are here for only 20 odd years. We don’t have the assets and investment of many of the lower earning families. We end up becoming the full pay every where just on the basis of our current income which is not guaranteed because it becomes 0 as soon as I loose the job. So if you look closely you may find that the real wealth certainly lie with families that have huge assets and investments because that won’t become 0 in split sec.</p>
<p>That is why I said there are tons of people in the similar situation. Many of my friends/colleagues have spent their resources building the wealth so that is why I refer to people having different priorities.</p>
<p>I have no doubt at all that this is completely true. As are many of the other things that nychomie has said about the admissions advantage conferred on high-achieving students at the most established/prestigious prep schools. </p>
<p>While some of his/her assumptions about public vs private schools are questionable–and typical of those who have been raised to assume that private is ALWAYS better–I think that some of the responses to nychomie in this thread have been “shoot the messenger,” rather than deserved.</p>
<p>BTW, A) on average, the typical reason for parents to send their kids to the typical private school is that the child falls into the great middle and the parent feels they are being overlooked, not because the kid is a top student [I think this applies less to the truly elite preps]; B) in days of yore, the major qualification for getting into the St. Grottlesex schools was having suitable connections and enough money to pay for it [this too has changed somewhat, but not completely]. The last point supports what nychomie says about acceptances: colleges can tell that a well-connected student at a top prep with a legacy connection to their school or other Ivies is likely to be a full-pay and likely to have a family that will be significant donors in coming years; moreover, the school is likely to be a richer source of such students that public high schools and lesser privates. In addition, the GCs and headmasters at such schools very carefully cultivate relationships with elite college admissions.</p>
<p>And lastly, I have heard from varied sources over the years–such as a student at Andover, the headmaster of a less well-known prep where a family member was a student, and a parent of students at the private school that S was then attending–that “anyone” who has education and “character education” as a priority can afford to send their kid to private school. Laughable, but true. They simply have no idea.</p>
<p>I finally looked at the Forbes list, which named just one Southern California school–Harvard Westlake. There are a handful of other similarly expensive/selective/academically demanding/excellent college admissions results private high schools within a 20 mile radius of HW which weren’t named in the Forbes article. All of these schools get mentioned with each other in local circles. I can’t imagine that any family sending (or contemplating sending) a child to HW or any of the unnamed-but-similar schools really cares about their school either being named on the Forbes list, or not being named on it.</p>
<p>POIH, it may be just possible to be a full-pay family at both a $30k+ private middle and high school and then a $50k+ private college for “tons” of people. That’s if they have just one child. Add a second child, and you are talking about paying from $60k to $100k or more out of pocket each year, in after-tax dollars. We won’t even think about families with 3 or more children doing this, it’s too frightening. ;)</p>