Leaving a house means leaving routines that accommodate deficits that start emerging with age. You may want to watch your FIL carefully to see what those are. Not that that in any way means he wouldn’t be better off in a senior community. Just saying resistance may be rooted in more than an emotional attachment to the home.
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We need this for our elder. Go get a cash box with a combo lock and put all medication bottles in side. Go the combo to the caregivers. That way, the elder can’t get into the meds.
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Alexa was very helpful to my mother for several years between needing some reminders and needing care. We set it to greet her in the morning and remind her to take her meds, she had lights she could just tell Alexa to turn off, and she asked Alexa repeatedly for the time and temperature. She could also call us through it. But yes, there came a time when that wasn’t enough and she was forgetting what to say.
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I totally understand that. He can no longer do his laundry as he broke a hip and can’t do stairs. He is very social and is increasingly isolated with his limited ability to drive. He cannot use technology at all so ubers and ordering groceries and such online are not options either.
We see him so much happier when he is around other people in his 1 bedroom apartment in Florida every winter. We just wish he would consider a similar living arrangement up here! I know it is a hard decision as its the home he had with his late wife.
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I (an elderly 61 year old) was sewing last night and using my iron to press seams. I went to continue this morning and the iron was still turned to the on position, but luckily not on because it has an automatic shut off after 30 (I think) minutes. Thank goodness!
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Dad and his wife say his slide-over shower seat has been a game changer. She can help him take a seated shower in the tube. I have not seen it but picture something like this (or similar, not as fancy)
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I have broken a few corelle pieces in my time. They shattered into a zillion pieces as others have said. We have used them for 40 years now. I like that they are light and durable.
I knew a guy who was a ceramics engineer. He used to work for Corning. His job was to try and break their products and then analyze why and how they broke.
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In the last year of my mom’s life I got really good at creating Alexa “routines”. These were helpful to her as I was able to bundle several commands together and also name the command something that she picked and was more intuitive.
For example, she could say “sleepy time” and Alexa would turn off the lights in the living room and bedroom, turn on her bedroom TV and put the tv on a one-hour timer.
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I have always been against Alexa and said I will never use it. I hardly ever talk to Siri. But that is an excellent use and so smart of you to combine those commands like that.
Toward his end my Dad was in a wheelchair with limited vision and low short term memory. He would call out to my Mom every 15 or 20 minutes to ask what time it was. It drove her crazy. Unfortunately there was no Alexa at that time.
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In 1984 my blind MIL had a small electronic talking clock. She could press a button to hear the time. Its name was George
One time when we took her camping in her pop tent camper. George was getting low on battery. He’d randomly say “it’s a…. it’s a…”, with no time stated. Took us some time to track which bag he was in the way back of the station wagon.
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As some have mentioned, assistive strategies only work if they can remember what they are, and how they work. We have been thwarted at every turn by my late father and my mom; it reminds me of trying to organize a student with ADHD.
We found suction handles very useful, and absolutely strong enough when properly attached. Motion activated nightlights everywhere! DH installed babyproof covers on some , so my dad wouldn’t take the nightlights out.
Alzheimer clock — it shows the digital time, the date, but also the day . So it will read “Tuesday March 4 3:15 afternoon” in huge print.
Alzheimer “radio”. It is a music device you preload with a thumb drive of chosen tunes. Has only a giant On/Off switch and a volume control. No station to find,no ads, no static.
I took throw rugs away when they weren’t looking, and hid them in their garage (bc they would just put them back). We stocked their kitchen with single-serve foods but they would not use them and instead ate poorly. They had every kind of pill organizer known to man – but would miss their mouth yet assume they’d taken their meds. We found pills on the floor regularly.
Someone on CC recommended a Dash egg cooker – omg, it was the single best thing. Shuts itself off. Foolproof use. Excellent results. My mom burned her finger on the steam vent early on but otherwise adored it.
And we bought her the game Shut The Box. She really likes it, and it is still something she can do cognitively.
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We bought a clock similar to that last year; ours shows AM or PM instead of morning or afternoon and shows the temperature. It hangs near H’s coffee maker. Once too often we’d had to ask each other what day it was and usually needed to check our cell phone to answer. It’s a retirement thing. 
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DH and I have one that shines the time on the ceiling so when I wake up at 3am I know just how tired I will be later. We call this the “geriatric clock”
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BILL AUTOPAY - This eases the monthly billpaying workload, but as a safety measure it also ensures that utilities won’t get shut off.
I do a lot of autopay myself. Certainly don’t miss writing/mailing all of those checks! Sometimes the older generation is not keen on this, especially if they keep a lean checking account balance. But I roll my eyes every time I hear about my Dad’s wife opting to drive places to drop off a payment check (to ensure not late, or when worried about mailed payment getting lost).
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One word of caution on autopay. My father was very tech savvy, spending all his day on his computer. He had all his banking and bill paying set up on it. One day he just stopped using his computer - told us he forgot the password. His lawyer, who had power of attorney, had to work very hard to get access to everything to now pay his bills, and do all of his finances.
Moral of the story is, if bill autopay is set up for a family member, make sure there is clear documentation for all of the accounts being used (preferably on paper stored with other important documents).
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How does that work with a shower curtain?
Definitely there is a concern on autopay being “invisible” when trying to figure out bills.
I think a good option (if allowed) is to set up autopay but still receive paper/snailmail bills. That’s what I do for most accounts… though I have started to feel bad about the wasted paper.
I have not seen the setup in person. I assume the shower curtain is outside the tub…… maybe with some extra towels on the floor.
Many companies now have “guest pay” option where you don’t need to log in as the customer to pay a bill for someone. Like the lady at the electric company said “if you’ve got money we’ll take it.”
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In my father’s case there was no paper trail. He had everything online - no paper bills or bank statements being mailed, only emails. Since, he could also no longer access his email on his computer, there was the problem of figuring out account numbers.
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