<p>When D1 was 14 she was at our little town´s library, a middle aged guy started to follow her from one section to another. She was so freaked out about the situation she ran into the lady´s room to call me. I told her immediately to go out to the front desk to wait for me. The worst thing she could have done was to go to a place where there was no one. </p>
<p>Later she told me she felt it was her fault that a man was following her, she didn´t want to embarrass herself by reporting it to someone at the front desk.</p>
<p>I know, Arrow, it does sound like a constraint, but four people I know well were raped by strangers in such situations. In one instance a friend was attacked getting into her car at night after leaving our college library. I’ve always been super cautious, ever since it hit so close to home.</p>
<p>Yes, but it’s necessary when traveling at night, especially alone. You also need to be very careful on the street as well- not just on the subway. Muggings take place daily, at all hours, in some fairly surprisingly “safe” areas. Be aware and vigilant, all the time. It’s life.</p>
<p>I only wear one earphone, I have a light on my keys, and if someone bugs me, i find someone else on the train and talk to them. I once had someone staringoddly at me, so I sat down next to a business man and told him a creep was making me nervous and I just wanted the creep to see I wasn’t alone</p>
<p>Also, doorman, bar tenders, are all great for helping, I told my daughters if they were followed to go into any bar even if under age. The bouncers will take care ofyou and they always have phones</p>
<p>Don’t be embarrassed to depend on the kindness of strangeres</p>
<p>My D was in dublin and a group of kids started talking to her. One girl pulled out a small knofe and threatened her. She got up and moved away backing out. My H said this was a wise move so they could not attack her from behind. I told her next time to sit near the bus driver.</p>
<p>Arrow - a lot of younger women put up with obnoxious and even scary behavior by strangers simply because they’re too intimidated to cause a real fuss. An older woman, who has been hassled, exposed to, and assaulted in the past is much more likely to raise holy hell when first approached by a creep. Criminals know how to pick a victim and they like them meek and weak (or simply oblivious, as they are when wearing headphones and/or texting). </p>
<p>Stare someone down, raise your voice, yell “Get away a$$hole”! (or whatever you like) and watch THEM move onto the next train car. It might not always work but it’s amazing how much it helps to not let yourself be categorized as a victim to begin with. I’d also be careful about pepper spray or any other weapon - they can be used against you.</p>
<p>Yes, creeps look for what they perceive as “easy prey.” Most want to find someone compliant and preferably tired and distracted. They don’t want fuss that will attract a lot of attention and witnesses. They rely on people being polite and wanting to be inoffensive while they are aggressive. A whistle or alarm is much less likely to be used against the victim than a weapon.</p>
<p>Here’s a late-night transportation strategy I learned from my daughter, who is 22 and lives in a city apartment that’s on a side street that tends to be deserted at night.</p>
<p>When coming home late at night, she takes the subway to a station fairly near her home where there are a lot of bars. This is not her usual station; it’s one that’s a little farther away. She gets off there because lots of cabs hang out in that area because of the bars. She then takes a cab to her apartment building. This is a lot cheaper than making the whole trip by cab and a lot safer than using her usual daytime-and-early-evening subway station and walking from that station to her building.</p>
<p>One more note about safety. When on a train (subway, commuter train, or whatever), if the seats are arranged so that there is an aisle seat and a window seat, always take an aisle seat (or stand if you cannot get one). If someone wants to sit next to you, get up and give them the window seat. Never slide over and let them sit on the aisle.</p>
<p>I learned about this the hard way when riding a commuter train in my twenties. I took a window seat one day, and a guy sat next to me and proceeded to enjoy himself in a sexual manner under a newspaper in his lap, finishing off the experience by making sure that the sticky results ended up on my dress. (No, for those of you who remember the Clinton administration, it was not a blue dress.) I was afraid to move because the seats were high ones and nobody else could see us, and because I had no way of knowing whether he had a knife.</p>
<p>I have sat on the aisle ever since. I even prefer aisle seats on planes, although I don’t insist on them because on a plane, you can always hit the flight attendant call button.</p>
<p>The number one thing never, ever to do. Do what greenwitch said and raise hell right then. If you let someone take you to a private location of their choosing, you’re in real trouble.</p>
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