I truly have no interest in Halloween baking competition shows or pumpkin carving contests. With that said it takes me less than 2 minutes to get completely hooked and compulsively need to see how it ends.
Please dear wife stop manipulating and tormenting me this way!
House once again getting in the last laugh before we close. Leaky toilet that needs to be fixed.
Sports media: enough with the Taylor Swift-Travis Kelce obsession. Focus on football!
A few weeks ago the Dolphins made history by scoring 70 points. And the biggest NFL story of the weekend was Swift attending the Chiefs game?!
Why must you dogs bark when the toddler is sleeping!
Today I got a notice from SSA that they have been underpaying me for all of 2023. They are going to make me whole and give me $27!
No wonder why I was feeling the inflation squeeze this year. $3/mo will make a big differene!
Architects, you’re driving me batty. We’re supposed to be a team, right? How do buildings ever get built?
I appreciate that you are finally trying, but I believe your efforts are rooted in fear not sincerity. The walls stay up for now.
Why do people need to have LOUD personal phone calls while sitting in the waiting area in the airport…or in the airport lounge. Sorry…but I think that is rude.
I sooooo dislike having to call xfinity. No matter how many times you try to tell them you do not want to be upsold on anything and do not want to discuss cell service, that’s all they do.
Dear Insurance Company:
Stop sending bills demanding payment for my dead MIL’s dental insurance for the month of October. She died ON SEPTEMBER 1ST! SHE WON’T BE NEEDING DENTAL INSURANCE ANYMORE!
Dear Nosy Neighbor:
The astroturf in your front yard? That looks stupid, but whatever. Now you’ve ‘planted’ 2 of the most fake looking round fake English boxwood ‘bushes’ in each of the 2 tall concrete planters that flank each side of your front window. It looks super dumb. Seriously, those are the fakest looking plants I’ve ever seen. It’s pretty hilarious.
Dear Nosy Neighbor:
Last week, you had your ‘landscaper’ (I don’t even know why you need one now since you’re ‘planting’ fake plants) blow all of your leaves into my yard. Thanks to the death of my MIL, we are now the proud owners of an electric leaf-blower. Keep it up and I’ll blow the leaves back onto your yard. Only MY yard has way more leaves than yours does. If you want to be petty, it’s GAME ON, BABY!
No, I don’t need to call DH at work to talk to him about this gutter replacement contract, thank you very f#$&ing much.
Dear City We Live In:
I cannot thank you enough for having free bulk trash pick ups a few times a year. This week is one of those times. And it just so happens that it falls upon a couple of days when my DH is out of town for work. I’m grateful that I can toss out some of his COVID wood…wood purchased at Home Depot in March 2020 at the height of the COVID pandemic, which has sat in our garage for 3 1/2 years waiting for him to produce all of the amazing furniture he was going to make. 
I’m also grateful for being able to throw out the 5 yr old carpet remnants that my DH won’t let me get rid of.
And I’m grateful for finally being able to throw out the 65 gallon plastic drum/container which DH claims was purchased for me, but we had to hang onto for 5 1/2 years just in case he changed his mind about it.
Dear Normal Neighbor:
thank you for taking the 65 gallon plastic drum/container thingy. I am forever grateful. I’m sick of the side of the outside of our house in the backyard starting to look like the beginnings of a junkyard. You’ve done me a huge favor.
Dear Husband:
You’ve hung onto the COVID wood for so long now that it’s warped, curved, bent. I’m now using it for firewood in the backyard. I’m tired of the wood pile. Some of it also is getting thrown out. But you know this already because I told you. And you actually said, “Oh, ok” instead of putting up a big fuss about it. Thank you, Jesus.
Some of you have never used a card catalog and it shows.
The same time it took you to text your group members or post on reddit could have been used to google the answer yourself or, you know, read the helpful FAQ provided by the instructor.
I am shocked that you expect answers to be spoon-fed to you when you literally have encyclopedias full of info at your fingertips.
All that anger needs to be dealt with. This is not the place.
Hoping for Otis to wobble west. Prayers for Acapolco tonight.
Ugh and yuck.
It’s “shoo-in”, NOT “shoe in”!
I can’t watch any more news. I feel like everything is coming crashing down. So I will watch Popeye cartoons and try not to focus on reality for awhile.
Dear Nosy Neighbor,
Glad you’re enjoying your visit with your feral grandchildren who are in town from out of state. Maybe keep it to a dull roar after 10 pm on school nights? That would be nice. When you look up the definition of purgatory in the dictionary, you know what’s right there? A picture of your kid, their spouse, and their feral children stuck in a big mega-mobile on a torturous road trip from Idaho to your house here in AZ. With the amount of screaming bloody murder that happens whenever they’re around, I’d rather stick hot pokers in my eyes than have to endure all of that for several days on end. Yes, I’m judgmental about this and I don’t care. Why? Because you are stupid enough to “plant” fake plants in your front yard. You’re also stupid enough to allow the feral grandchildren to throw food over the fence into my yard.
Glad that you’re afraid of cats because that means you’ll never step inside my house ever again.
I pray every day that Gary the Gopher will move into your yard. Hope springs eternal.
“You need power, only when you want to do something harmful…” (Charlie Chaplin)