Gosh my GPA sucks.
Why, oh why, after all these years of trying and trying, why can’t I do it?
This is a repeat vent, but it still bugs me when I see it: If you have a M.Ed or a Psy.D. or a Ph.D., don’t sign things “Dr. John Doe, Psy.D”. Its redundant and it makes you look like a fool. Second vent: If you call me and then someone else beeps in, unless its an urgent call, please don’t tell me you’ll have to call me back because you are getting another call. Every possible interpretation of that feels bad. Ignore the other call.
This is really scaring me. I’ve never experienced anything like this, ever. It’s definitely real and I feel stupid as heck about it. I would have never dreamed this would happen to me. I simply must find out what is going on and deal with it. I can’t stop living because of this.
You can’t wear green socks with bluejeans.
You are not funny. AT ALL.
Don’t admit you did something blatantly unethical and then lie about it to try to backtrack. Dumb and dumber.
Boy, you really hate women, don’t you? And you are one. I really feel so sorry for your future DILs. I predict lots of divorces.
Looks like another trip to South Africa is in the works for spring, 2018! This makes me so very happy. I’ve said it before - I have the best parents in the world. 
(I know this doesn’t count as a rant, but I had to share the news someplace!)
Are you flirting with me, or do you just talk to all your platonic friends about kissing them…?
Someone, please put the right kind of house on the market before we buy the stupid piece of land!!
Sad that I’ve lost so much contact with old family and friends
My entire family on my dad’s side does not even want to meet me or any of my dads kids, and I do not know why. He has tried to reach out to them for years, but all they do is like our FB statuses once every seven months…
How is it that when I go to put away everything I took out for a party, it seems like it reproduced and there is now three times as much to put back?
We could put up with you constantly raving about your brilliant son and his accomplishments because he really is brilliant and has accomplished cutting edge successes in medical biology. We could put up with your neurotic need to have attention. But when you commenced your affair with your former law school flame and almost flaunted it in front of your husband, you started to lose us. When at the funeral for my wife’s father you railed to my wife about how our closest friends who are like a brother and sister to us are a-holes because he joked about you not having a GPS in your fancy Mercedes to use to get to the Shiva house, you drove the edge deeper. But when you called my wife to chastise us because you were not invited to my daughter’s wedding shower (which we excluded you from because these other friends you so vocally detest were going to be there) and then announced that you would not come to the wedding, to which you had been invited, and then didn’t even congratulate our daughter even though you have known her since the day she was born, you destroyed any remnants of a relationship with us. You are a self absorbed, emotionally needy person who puts on a great show of “caring” for others but are really interested in only meeting your own emotional needs. Good riddance. Glad you are out of our lives.
Twitter wars are ridiculous.
Coming home from vacation to a messy house and mountain of laundry is a drag
To the supermarket manager – I really wish you’d grow a pair and enforce that “no pets” rule in the store. The sign on the front door says you only allow medically necessary animals. Today it looked like PetSmart instead of Publix. First there was the big guy who looked like a wrestler leading his huge muscular pit bull through the meat department on a thick chain leash. He didn’t even bother with the pretense of one of those fake emotional support animal vests. Then I headed over to the produce dept. where some guy had his parrot on his shoulder while he was leaning over the veggie bins! I’m supposed to believe these folks are that emotionally fragile that they have to shop with their pets?
No way. [-X
My father’s been dead for more than 20 years, I do not go by my maiden name, he never lived in this state let allow at my address (which was still undeveloped ranch land until about 10 years ago). Why do I get mail addressed to him sent to my house??? Enough already!
I do believe that if Twitter did not exist most of your outbursts would be written in crayon.