Please dear X do not hold a destination wedding and think we WANT to attend. No one wants to spend their money and VACATION time on this. The ones we have been dragged to are always a reflection of selfish couples who want to be the center of attention rather than celebrating their love for each other.( And all have ended in divorce). And many of these have been held on long weekends where the airfares double and we really needed downtime. So, Spare us, please.
When I bumped my full mug of coffee off the window sill and it spilled all over the floor, you two were startled and wary but kept calm and gave me a wide berth to do the cleanup. Good job, good dogs!!! Let’s go for walkies!!!
Yes, I said it directly, too. 
My appointment window was between 8 - 10 am. How is showing up at 2:15 even remotely acceptable? And to be snippy with me on the phone when I called at 10? Not cool gas company. Not cool!
You have been a good friend for something like 30 years now. I am so sorry about your son’s diagnosis. I’ll do anything I can for you and your family.
Snow, you are so lovely to look at drifting down today, but I know that in another month or so I will be thoroughly tired of all the headaches you cause.
Ugh, can’t believe that my travel plans may be delayed due to winter weather in BALTIMORE! The issue is that if I don’t get down there today, then travel out of Maine may be difficult tomorrow. 
I want to go home!
I wish I liked my job better and got paid more. Even though I ran through some pros and cons about it…IDK…feeling stuck and not entirely satisfied and toss in some “I don’t know what I want to do next” for good measure.
Today’s flight was canceled. I rescheduled for tomorrow, but that flight was canceled, too!! So I rescheduled for Saturday, but DH suggested I try other airlines. So I booked an American flight for tomorrow. I hope it goes. I won’t cancel my Southwest flight on Saturday until I get to Austin! ARGH!
I grind my teeth so hard that I broke my back molar. I am getting it removed tomorrow, and I feel so … old, maybe? I am envisioning myself as a toothless old crone. I need to de-stress.
OMG I hate you town council member that circumvents all our town processes to further your family interests. I hate you wishy washy council liaison that should have stopped this in its track instead of VOTING FOR IT YOU MORON and last but not least I hate you town council member for saying “this is wrong and I want to involve the planning commission” But then voting YES. This is so messed up.
My baby had a car accident last night on her way home from work in the snow in Rochester on her way home from an evening shift at the hospital. No one hurt and apparently not terrible damage, but we were both pretty shaken. This morning I am thinking about how grateful I am that I can help her buy a safer car. My money is certainly not limitless but 10 years ago it would have been a true crisis for us.
I am losing my mind this morning over a paint snafu. I asked for latex satin. When I get home and start painting I realize the paint is going on differently and smells funny. YOU GAVE ME AN OIL BASED ACRYLIC! And now, on the phone, you are trying to convince me that that is better - sir, it’s not what I asked for - you can’t change the composition of the paint I asked for without discussing that with me! And now you tell me you are out of latex paint in quarts and won’t have any until MAYBE Monday. YOU’RE A FREAKIN SHERWIN WILLIAMS PAINT STORE - how do you not have latex paint! I think you need to admit that that’s probably why you gave me the acrylic - you had not latex when I bought my paint.
notafirstworldproblembut....
I am having THE WORST DAY EVER. Son’s car will need $800 in repairs (guess who will pay for it until he can pay us back?) Then MY car wouldn’t start. And I’m having a stomach-churning crisis at work as I deal with a very important deadline. Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh
sorry, this is not an “imaginary conflict.” The actual words and actions make it very real. I know you see what she posts on FB, and no doubt in DMs to you, and you believe it to be true, but what she actually did was unconscionable and unforgivable. Yes, it’s sad when a family comes apart, but eliminating a toxic person from my life is none of your business. Maybe you should ask one of us what prompted it before you take her word for it.
You are rude and stupid.
If you are so unhappy that your daughter is living in “unsafe” housing, not able to schedule classes, and you bash the university every chance you get on social media, have your kid transfer. If you wanted the level of hand holding you seem to believe your daughter “deserves”, a public flagship was probably not the right choice. You are the description of a parent raising a snowflake.
Dear Builder - I hope karma comes around to bite you. I can’t wait to report you to the BBB and get the word out that your knowingly skirt building codes to cut costs which end up costing home owners tens of thousands of dollars of repairs. I hope the insurance company sues you and this shoddy work is made publicly. I don’t know how you sleep at night.
Yes you ARE supposed to have leakage after having a catheter removed one week after prostate removal. It is NORMAL not to feel a full bladder right now. You can boss everyone around and expect people to be perfect but your body is gonna do what it’s gonna do. Because it is normal.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I got the free tickets to the event! The chances were very low (like 5% low), but by a stroke of luck I now get to meet [political figure that I look up to].
Misery
Please don’t come to Thanksgiving. Please just don’t come.