<p>My son really did love his safety, also Kenyon. (I hate to use the label safety as it can sound condescending to those for whom it is a match or even reach school, but lack a better word.) He had a closer relationship with the admissions director there than at any other school on his shortlist and really did feel that he had let her down when he wrote to say that he had been accepted ED elsewhere. This just underscores for me the importance and value of spending a disproportionate amount of energy on identifying, researching, visiting, applying to and basically learning to love your safety. You may be disappointed if you dont get into your top pick but youll recover faster if youre psychologically prepared to attend all the schools on your list.</p>
<p>My daughter loved Kenyon too. Since we never got to visit, she was planning on attending a local reception in January. After she got her ED acceptance, she emailed Kenyon to let them know why she wasn’t going to be able to attend the reception. She got a lovely email back from them yesterday. She also emailed three other colleges; two of them because they had been so nice to her that she thought she should explain why they wouldn’t be receiving her application (–those two were her “safeties”–), and one because she had some sort of personal relation with the regional ad com who, among other things, is a graduate of D’s high school. Nearly all of them have emailed back to her with congratulatory and generous notes. My daughter didn’t follow the wise advice of getting her applications done before hearing from her ED choice, but–on at least an even level of importance–she did find other schools she would have been happy to attend.</p>
<p>I think that the smaller schools do a great job of initiating conversation with applicants. This not only gives them an edge when school selection comes around, but allows them to get to know students on a non-paper basis. I beleive the LACs do a fantastic job at this…and it can be hard to withdraw when you have established a clear connection.</p>
<p>I would add that one school that my son turned down, a school that anyone but the rare few would find a reach, wrote him the most wonderful note saying what a pleasure it was to have met him and knowing how well he would do at his chose school. And, it was not just the admissions office that chimed in – the head coach of his sport as responded to the news in the most postive way, wishing him the best of luck. Of course I have now have nothing but the highest regard for thess people and the institution – one that takes a lot of bashing because of their marketing.</p>
<p>When we started the process the college list was so short…there was just one school were my son felt at home…when it ended with an ED acceptance there was a fistfull of schools my son would have been happy to call home…</p>
<p>Yesterday I finally threw away some of the “stuff” from the school my son WAS going to attend before he got off the waitlist to UofC. I just didn’t have the heart to do it before. But we are not really saying goodbye permanentl. In a couple of years, my daughter (currently a sophomore in HS) will be looking at some of the same schools, so, who knows? What is interesting about this one is that she is “morphing,” --can’t say I really have a handle on what she loves most, or what her passion may turn out to be. I thought she was an artsy kid, but now she seems to be heading more toward science/math. She is not one you would say is “brilliant” in the sciences, but she seems genuinely interested. So one of those nurturing LAC’s that my S turned down may be just the ticket for her.</p>
<p>I feel awful…sending in my “decline of admissions” slip for Chicago…
I mean, even though it was kind of a safety for me (I know…it’s not suppose to be a safety for anyone…), it was def. my 2nd choice if I had to kiss goodbye to my ED school…I love both of them…sucks that I can’t go to both…<em>sigh</em></p>
<p>That’s got to have been hard, Catch-22… but congrats on having your ED school also accept you!</p>
<p>My son had already sent in his UC apps and most of his other apps before he received his EA acceptance at MIT. I don’t think he had seriously thought they’d admit him, but he’s pleased – still not totally committed since he’s waiting to hear from at least one other specific school, but getting jazzed. As a result, he has decided not to complete apps to two <em>fantastic</em> schools (including my alma mater) which (as someone said above) would have been reach schools for most people. I am sad that, after meeting with faculty members and the admissions director and department heads who gave us personal tours at his parent’s alma maters, he either did not send an app or is actively withdrawing from them both. But this is his decision and he can hardly go wrong. It is definitely with a note of sadness that we all let go of some of our dreams and choose only one path… but it’s part of growing.</p>
<p>mootmom,
“It is definitely with a note of sadness that we all let go of some of our dreams and choose only one path…”</p>
<p>Yes, this is what I was getting at. For the first time, I can see our S taking steps in a specific direction that will lead to some specific opportunities but will shut the door on others. In the past, there has always been lots of time to experiment, try various programs, classes, hobbies, think about all the opportunities available. But that time of wide-open possibility (I’m mean <em>really</em> wide) is starting to come to an end. Choosing a college is part of the narrowing of possible life experiences. For a year, I’ve imagined him in D.C. or Boston or Chicago or the Bay Area or upstate New York or near Sacramento… and it was fun to consider the experiences he would have at each place and the different programs or professors (and, ahem, the nice vacations H and I might take to visit him). But it’s becoming all too clear that he can only be in one place and must give up the others (at least for the time being but practically speaking, forever, since you can only be an 18-22 year old undergrad once). Anyhow, it’s not horrible; I’m just a bit melancholy, I guess. I love possibilities and choices and greedily want to keep all of them for S!</p>
<p>Momof2Peruvians, I’ve been fighting–with no success, obviously–all my life that narrowing of options. And then there are the bouts where I’ve wanted to do so many things that I’ve done nothing. A C- for me.</p>
<p>Well, when I get down to L.A. in May, we are definitely doing violin duets!</p>
<p>I’m so happy for both of my daughters who have admissions packages from several schools. I’m new to this site and the info here so I’m glad to see other parents sad about “the road not taken”. </p>
<p>One daughter will most likely attend the U of Illinois in Architecture (unless Wash U comes through in RD). I’m feeling such a loss over not experiencing Miami of Ohio or Tulane and all the wonderful people we met. The other daughter will likely attend West Point, but then Butler and Lehigh will not be a part of our lives. </p>
<p>I can’t wait for them to make final decisions. Then I can move on. Congratulations to all! I wish I had found the site earlier in our process.</p>
<p>Mini, you’ll be in LA in May? I’d love to see you again. Umm…we’ll be out of town May 10-15 or so. Come to think of it, your D is supposed to be playing with the Smith Orchestra at Carnegie Hall on May 11 as well.</p>
<p>Exactly when I’ll be there - speaking tour. May 11 in L.A., May 12 in Huntington Beach, May 13 - Temecula; May 14-15 San Diego.</p>
<p>(My D. sang in Carnegie when she was 7, so this is “old hat”.)</p>
<p>Mini, so is your younger D giving her concert in Philly? The reason I ask is, if you still need the viola, my son said I could give it away. Philly is nearby.</p>
<p>Younger D. is pretty definitely giving a benefit recital for the African Great Lakes Initiative on April 23rd, likely at Germantown Friends School. I will tell the older one, who is currently stranded in the Hartford Airport (for the last 7 hours), trying to catch a connection in Cincinnati (with virtually no hope in sight.) Last time I spoke with her, though, she was hoping to take up the viola di bracchia (a Renaissance instrument) next term. Thank you for the very kind offer.</p>
<p>Speaking of being stranded in the airport though, she just spoke to me. I reminded her that one of the best things in her entire life happened as a result of being stranded in the Detroit Airport at age 13 for 9 hours. She spent the entire time composing a choir piece which won major national and international awards (with much money) attached, two invitations to the International Composers Symposium at the Oregon Bach Festival, and a round of college admissions and scholarships for her composition work. I reminded her that she has youth, strength, a warm coat, money, her violin with her, and a source of inspiration…</p>
<p>She is taking out the computer even as we speak…</p>
<p>Mini, I am definitely sure this is not an esoteric viola and I’m not even sure what kind it is. Just, if you need it, email me. I can go to your daughter’s concert in April and drop it there.</p>
<p>Good luck for Madurai!!</p>
<p>Well, just got off the phone with older d. again. No news on flights. All connections to Portland and Seattle cancelled. She can’t go back to Smith, as there are no flights out of Hartford tomorrow that aren’t booked. They are thinking of rerouting to Atlanta, but the storm/cold front is headed that way too! This is going to be a GREAT piece of music (I can taste Pulitzer in the air!)</p>
<p>She says she would LOVE the viola! (hope you got my book)</p>
<p>Ah, Madurai - currently 92 degrees. Sunny. Sigh. Leave Tuesday night. D. better be home by then…</p>
<p>I have your email address. Come April, I’ll go to Philly, so I can drop it off. Just remind me…</p>
<p>Sorry, OP and other posters, didn’t mean to distract. Back to regular programming…</p>
<p>Mini, it looks as if we’ll be in NYC exactly overlapping your SoCal visit. Darn.</p>
<p>Is Bradley snowed in?
My D just called from Boston while ago…full plane for LAX will be leaving half an hour late.
Didn’t fly from Hartford because of French horn.</p>