If I understand your situation correctly you’re in a difficult position. The NPCs are showing costs $20-30k more than you can spend. Your reason for wanting more aid isn’t due to a sudden job loss or uncovered medical expenses. You just can’t/won’t pay. Colleges don’t offer extra money just because parents won’t pay.
What does your daughter have to offer that makes her worth $80,000 to $120,000 to these OOS schools? You need a convincing answer to that question if you hope to get additional aid. If you already have financial aid packages it’s highly unlikely that they’re going to award her an extra $20-30k/year.
If your in state public is what you can afford you may want to rethink your opinion of what it has to offer. College isn’t an extension of high school. I hope your daughter has some affordable options.