<p>Teen pregnancy is down, in all ethnic groups. That does not appear that most girls think it’s the cool thing to do. If it’s DOWN, then FEWER girls are choosing to have babies, DESPITE any alleged influence of these TV shows or, the horror, of allowing kids to go to school without being closeted away while being pregnant.</p>
<p>Well, kayf, my mentee has in fact used government resources. She uses them to feed her siblings, who, through now fault of their own, had crappy parents. She uses them to help pay for housing in a city where “affordable” housing is a joke. She uses them to help her pay for college so that she will no longer NEED these resources. She uses them to take public transportation to get to all these places. She also works. She pays taxes. </p>
<p>I get it-pregnant teens should be shunted away so that they won’t “influence” others to follow their same sinful road. After that they should be forced to fend for themselves and too darn bad if that means they starve or are homeless or whatever-it’s their own darn fault, right? Shame on them, shame!</p>
<p>It’s so easy when you have it all to look down your nose at others. So easy when it’s not your child who’s one of them. So easy when you don’t have to dirty yourselves by walking among them.</p>
<p>Well, I do. Most of these girls don’t WANT to be where they are. They WANT to make a better life for themselves and their kids. They WANT to make the right choices, but some of them never had anyone tell them what those were growing up. I do my little part to help. I don’t begrudge a toddler getting free food off my dime, or his mother having a roof over her head. And I applaud the ones who get out of the cycle and make it. Rather than think they’re a bad example because they’ve succeeded, I think they’re a good example because they did. They’re the ones, not people like me in my comfy home, who can tell those coming up behind them what NOT to do, and those kids will listen.</p>
<p>sseamom, to turn an internet meme on its head, you’re making good posts and you should feel good. </p>
<p>For those of you who want this swept under the rug, the young lady sent to a different school, etc., I sincerely hope that your children haven’t absorbed the lesson that you will only care for them if they are living lives that make you look good. I frequently deal with students who absorbed that lesson from their parents and it breaks my heart.</p>
<p>To clarify: I know that you all love your children very, very much, and that you want the best paths for them, and certainly a teen pregnancy is not what most people consider the “best path.” However, my colleagues and I run into a lot of students who misinterpret the concern and love as saying (to paraphrase something I hear from students): “I will only love you if I can put up good facebook posts/Christmas card letters about you.” My own parents are this way and so I’ve struggled with this myself. I know they love me and would be happy to support me in difficult times, but I still have a hard time sharing any of my difficult times with them because of the way they showed concern for me when I was growing up.</p>
<p>A practical objection to one’s teenager having a baby is the cost to the parents (now grandparents). A teenager is still a dependent. Parents are still legally responsible for her well-being. Now they’ve got another mouth to feed.</p>
<p>Teen birth rates are way down. They are lower than they’ve been in something like 30 years.</p>
<p>I think this school’s photo policy is just plain silly.Symbol of your greatest achievement can include your pet? Well, maybe if you’re in 4-H, but otherwise? However, if you can have your pet, I don’t think it’s wrong to want to include your baby.I think it would have been better to allow this girl her photo.</p>
<p>NewHavenCTmom, my dad doesn’t mean they should go to a school for teen moms. He means they should go to the schools where they send kids who get into fights, get drunk at school, skip classes too much, etc. Or they should be kicked out of school altogether. I would have no problem with a school recommending that a teen girl be sent to a school that would better accommodate her situation but she shouldn’t be PUNISHED for having sex and getting pregnant.</p>
<p>While many of the girls end up pregnant from not practicing “safe sex” (stupidest phrase ever), many girls use birth control and condoms yet still end up pregnant. Do you know that the girl in this story wasn’t one of those girls? Probably not. There’s a high chance that the girl was on birth control because a lot of teen girls are lately. Doctors convince parents to put their girls on it for period regulation and the added benefit of it being birth control. It’s become commonplace for any female over 13 to have a doctor at least offer birth control.</p>
<p>I was responding to “They should honor a teen who had unprotected sex and who had a child out of wedlock?”. You specifically were talking about girls who don’t use condoms at all by saying unprotected. You can’t say that this girl didn’t use a condom. Also, having children out of wedlock means NOTHING and I am disgusted that you felt it necessary to say that she had a child out of wedlock rather than saying she had a child as a teenager.</p>
<p>I never said nor implied that she wanted to get pregnant. All I said is that she could have been on birth control and she could have used a condom and they could have failed.</p>
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<p>Because the term “safe” implies that it’s nothing bad can happen. It gives people a false sense of confidence. Also, you can still have unsafe sex while wearing a condom. A better term is “protected”. But even that isn’t good.</p>
<p>I never said a child having a child should be celebrated (somebody should be prosecuted for rape in that case). I also don’t think a teenager (who is not a child, just a minor) having a child should be celebrated. But having a child out of wedlock isn’t a bad thing. It’s just not what you want. Which, quite frankly, counts for about as much as me saying that I have pink shelves in my room.</p>
<p>Actually, condoms are only about 97% effective with perfect use due to imperfections in manufacturing. With typical use, it’s about 85-90%. Birth control is 99% effective with perfect use and 92% with typical use. That leaves a lot of room. And, I’m sorry, but most women don’t know how to perfectly use anything. I severely doubt you would use birth control perfectly. You would have to have OCD to the highest caliber.</p>
<p>“I think this girl should be held up as proud example of someone who is overcoming what some might construe as adversity. The school should honor her for her commitment to her education, and the responsibility she has shown toward her child.”</p>
<p>Agree with the first phrase, would agree with the second if she had included the baby’s father in the photo, was married, and one of them had a job that could support the family.</p>
<p>So I still wonder if she is getting any real support from the anti-abortion folks (those who consider themselves “pro-life”, though I consider those two terms not to by synonymous) in her community. Have they spoken out? Have they helped her in any way? If you consider yourself anti-abortion, would you have?</p>
<p>Mini,
I’m sure adoption resources were made available to her, and if she is under 18, it is her parents’ responsibility to see that she has the support she needs.</p>
<p>I edited my high school yearbook, and the school had very little control / influence over the whole thing. Pictures of babies of my fellow classmates were included, the school didn’t complain (and this was a private girls school) and no one thought that it made teen pregnancy look attractive.</p>
<p>They could just take a common sense approach to all of this - realistically what harm is it going to do?</p>
<p>“I’m sure adoption resources were made available to her, and if she is under 18, it is her parents’ responsibility to see that she has the support she needs.”</p>
<p>I didn’t ask whether adoption and abortion resources were made available to her by her parents, or the school; I asked whether anti-abortion folks had stepped up the plate.</p>
<p>I don’t see why it’s specifically the responsibility of the pro-life faction to support her. I’m staunchly pro-choice, and also an adoptive mom. Being pro-choice means that I will support women whichever choice they make, including parenting.</p>
<p>We can’t turn this into a political thread, but I would agree that the pro-life faction has a greater responsibility since they are the ones that want to limit the woman’s choice and control over her own body. If you are going to run around and tell people what they should do with their own bodies, then be prepared to support those people and the offspring financially as well as emotionally. Doesn’t preclude the pro-life people from advocating but we don’t seem to hold pro-life people financially accountable. In this, I agree with Mini.</p>
<p>I have to side with the school here. If it was simply a picture of the student, I can see the issue. But a picture of the student with her child is absolutely innappropriate. I’m surprised they even let her take the picture. If I wanted to take my senior portraint with anyone else at all, I would be shut down immediately. Let alone with a biological child. </p>
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I don’t understand this argument. There’s no denying that bad things happen, but you still try to stay away from being exposed to those things.</p>
<p>The pro-life faction simply believes that the unborn child is a human being with rights. While I do not fully agree with them, it is still ultimately the responsibility of the woman to not get pregnant.</p>
<p>I am not sure I understand this sentence. Are you saying that bringing your child is somehow worse than bringing your girlfriend? And by biological do you mean as opposed to a doll or robot baby? All children are biological.</p>
<p>I am saying that having a photo that is, in a sense, portraying teen parenting, in a school yearbook is worse than a photo with, say, your best friend. </p>
<p>“Biological child” was probably a bad phrase. I meant a kid that is someone’s biological child.</p>