If you would “absolutely qualify” for FA of “some sort,” then apply. An unaffordable acceptance, or one that requires taking on a second job…is not exactly desirable for 4+ years. At a minimum, what if you get tired and can’t keep it up? Are you prepared to do this for all of your kids?
I think you are making this more complicated than it needs to be. Apply for FA. Once all of the acceptances roll in, decide which schools are affordable and realistic, and choose one. If your daughter attends a school that is ranked a little lower than the schools that you consider to be “high caliber”…will it matter? This happens all the time, as many people have to consider finances.
Can you afford to send all of your kids to “high caliber” schools that are need aware…as a full pay family not asking for FA? You may be heading down a slippery slope.