Dad of twin DD here, we applied to 4 schools with FA and got waitlisted at 3 out of 4 of them, a couple of them are within the GLADCHEMMS list. I understand that applying for FA makes the application more challenging, given the funding pool availability for 2 applicants.
DD have reached out to all 3 schools to let them know of their interest, that they are ready to accept if offered and will remove themselves from the other WL. All 3 are day, but DD have indicated flexibility as a boarding student if an opportunity arises. Their first choices are unique.
Our plan B is local public school. Given these circumstances, my thinking as a parent - I am fine if they both went to local public, or if they both went to the same or different private schools. But I am very concerned about family dynamics and therefore reluctant to send one of them to private and the other to public.
Therefore I am seeking how do I communicate this best to the 3 WL schools as a parent? The odds appear very slim to none anyway at these competitive schools, but I am unclear if the odds are slightly better if each of DD were to receive some consideration from different WL schools.
We were in a very similar situation as you. DD1 was accepted to one school and waitlisted at others while her twin was waitlisted at all and, unsurprisingly, didn’t get off of any waitlists. Both required FA. In the end, DD1 went to BS and DD2 went to LPS. The next year DD2 applied to the same BS as her sister and was accepted into 10th grade with FA. While there was a little friction during that first year, it was manageable and the girls actually grew closer by being at different schools. At the end of the day they’re different people with different strengths so sometimes one person “wins” and the other person “loses.”
The difference between this and making a sports team or an honors society, or whatever, is the money. I don’t know what level of FA you need to make it happen but unless it’s a full ride there may be some hard feelings about that aspect … “we’re spending $x,000 to send her to school and now we can’t afford to go on vacation.” You know the dynamics of your family best and whether or not that would be a problem … or perhaps a teaching moment.
Regarding the schools, it’s already challenging to get off the waitlist but even more so when you need FA. Because of that, I wouldn’t put any barriers in place if you really want one (or both) of them to attend. Be honest with the school. If you’re okay with just one getting off the waitlist, tell them. Just recognize that only one may be at BS. If you must have them do the same thing (both at LPS or both at BS) then just tell the schools that.
Agree with @QueueCT that it depends on how the spending impacts the family. There was another’s poster here a few years back with the same situation. One twin accepted to Mercersberg for 9th, the other not. The other stayed at LPS and applied and was accepted for 10th.
No guarantee it’ll happen that way but it’s a gamble that might pay off.
That is @twinsmama She’s not particularly active here these days, since they are not only oost-Mercersburg, but post-college as well. But perhaps she’ll respond to the tag and weigh in.
Well, a summons from @skieurope will always bring me back.
I’m sorry, but I don’t have much to add, except that I don’t recall any conflict around the finances. However, my daughter was in an expensive music program that year, so she wouldn’t have had cause to feel that funding was only going to her brother.
Unrelated to your comments, please keep in mind the potential schedule conflicts of having children in different schools, especially if yours remain local. High school is a very busy time. Best of luck!
Thank you for your thoughtful responses. I sincerely appreciate your perspective.
@QueueCT - your point about not putting any barriers in place is valid and I completely agree with honest communication to all the schools. Integrity is one of our family core values, I see it as critical to be straightforward in communication and actions being aligned with words, regardless of the outcome.
@gardenstategal - yes I agree that it is a gamble that could pay off, but my concern as a parent stems from the fact that unequal opportunities could lead to unequal outcomes. Given that they are only teenagers and growing in their development to adulthood, it can be very challenging to handle feelings that may follow any decisions.
@twinsmama - yes you have also echoed one of our worries - potential schedule conflicts. I guess we will see, as these schools are highly competitive. FA is not the only factor that makes it challenging to get off the waitlist - there are also other factors that go into the school’s decision to offer for the fit that they are looking.