@onthehuntPNW, I love love love your question, and context, as it maps very closely to our own process for our 2025 twins. Our kids were looking for the same things — a medium-sized school with friendly, warm students, a priority on undergraduate teaching, and deep relationships with professors. It sounds like you and your daughter have done a lot of thoughtful introspection, and already have a really solid list coming together.
I won’t chat too much on W&M unless you ask for more details, as I do think the finances could be tough, though in the interest of not burying the lede, I’ll say that my twins both ended up deciding to go there, and will be starting there in in a little less than a month. I’ve also yapped about it a bunch in the past in case you want to dive into past comments of mine:
1 (Monroe, and a story about a W&M prof charging my car’s dead battery!)
2 (“friendly nerds”)
3 (a professor giving my daughter his own lunch!)
4 (W&M for someone interested in Political Science)
I think your daughter would likely get the Monroe scholarship, which has a variety of benefits, but even with it, the OOS cost would still end up being a bit over $65k, unfortunately.
So, other schools?
We were all very impressed by St. Olaf! And with their scholarships — which I believe your daughter would be in the running for — the cost would be solidly within range for you. A quick story about how kind the St. Olaf folks are … we were visiting St. Olaf and Carleton for their admitted students days (which were the same day) this past spring, and when the St. Olaf admissions officer (who we were already impressed with) learned that we were going to have to get across town to Carleton for the second half of the day, she offered to drive us over in her own car. What kind, sweet people! As you probably already know, it’s very close to Macalester geographically, so batching visits could make sense. (Carleton, too, though I believe they only have need-based aid.) Anyway, I think this video does a really good job of conveying the spirit of St. Olaf. So I’d definitely encourage thinking about it!
I think your Whitman visit will be really clarifying. We never made it there, but everything I’ve heard about it suggests that it would fit your criteria well, if the money works out.
A school I don’t know a ton about, but a Portland school that orbits in my mind in some similar spaces to the schools in this thread — Lewis & Clark? (Ah, I see it was just mentioned above. If you’re nearby, or will be, it could be worth a visit.)